Adventures in Freelance Writing

Contemplating the forget-me-nots

 

When people embark on a career* as a freelance writer there is often a dewy-eyed expectation of ‘the writing life’. The elements change from person to person – apart from the money part! – but the holy grail of freelancing is reaching a point where people contact you to say they love your work and they want you to write for them.

 

It all began one sunny afternoon when I was passing through LinkedIn, scattering comments like wildflower seeds. I have a varied ‘community’ across a lot of different business sectors but what links us is a fondness for humour and language.

 

Somewhere along the line I’d said something funny and someone I didn’t know well responded to my comment with a suggestion that I write for them. Before you can say ‘slide into my DMs’ we were thrashing out the details. At least, I was.

 

Day 1 Client tells me about his business interests and his lifestyle. I check out his website and formulate some ideas.

 

Day 1 I send the client two draft pieces for them to consider and ask about their budget.

 

Day 7 I send a follow-up message in case they had any queries.

 

Day 11 I check whether the client wants me to send anything else.

 

Day 11 Client responds one minute later to say they’ve been busy but they’ll read the content today.

 

Day 13 As there’s still no response from the client about my content or their budget I thank them for their time and move on.

 

Day 13 Client responds four minutes later, says my work is very good and can they have my phone number.

 

Day 13 I ask the client what their budget is per piece / word / project.

 

Day 13 Client replies: I don’t set budgets I just say yes or no. (In my head I hear the voice of Lou Grant.) Client prefers one of the two draft pieces and also compliments my podcast work.

 

Day 14 I quote an introductory discount rate for the finished piece, for first rights.

 

Day 14 Client replies within the hour with a two-word response: Too high.

 

Day 14 A few hours later I thank the client for their time move on.

 

Day 14 Client responds fifteen minutes later: I think people that write have to realise that small publications don’t have the readership or the income to afford material like this so unless you’re willing to work for much less money, it just doesn’t make sense.

 

Day 14 I thank client for their response and remind them that I asked twice about their budget and instead they left it open to me. I add that it doesn't make sense for me, as working writer, to work for much less money unless there are other drivers such as a longer-term arrangement, doing it for fun instead (guess again), or if the organisation is a non-profit. Then, with one eye on this blog post, I ask what rate they were hoping for. They never respond again.

 

 

Now, it would be easy and churlish to criticise a client for their response times, their lack of transparency and their dismissive attitude towards working writers. It could be funny too, but that’s not the intention here.

 

There could be several reasons for the pricing disconnect:

1.    Non-writers think it takes very little time to write quality material

2.    The client was used to people writing for very little money

3.    The client thought that writers are ten-a-penny and someone else would do it for the exposure

4.    The client was desperate

 

None of which are my problem.

 

As a footnote, I checked out their website, just to make sure my work hadn’t been appropriated, and it’s no longer available.

 

If you’re on LinkedIn and you’re looking for a writer, here’s where to find me:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/professionalwriter1/

 

 *  May contain traces of cynicism

Authenticity is an onion

I didn't have any photos of onions.

 

There is a lot of talk about authenticity. It’s the word of the moment for writers (and other creative types). Generally, it’s interpreted as a distillation of the old maxim - because there never seems to be any new ones: Write about what you know.

What you know can apply to subject matter, characters, setting, dialogue, genre, plot… you get the picture. Personally, I prefer the new maxim (ta-da!): know what you’re writing about.*

 

But it seems to me there’s another string to authenticity’s bow, one that produces a missing chord. To be an authentic writer is to not only recognise your influences, cultural conditioning, class, gender, ethnicity, politics, personal psychology and any other lenses; it’s also incumbent upon us to recognise our limitations (innate and otherwise).

 

I know that’s not a popular stance because we want to believe we can create our own reality and forge our destiny as writers. But I believe in statistics and experience (mine and other people’s) more than I believe in the power of beliefs.

 

Walk with me while I spill my guts.

 

I’ve had seven novels published and I self-published two others; plus there’s a mid-grade book and a completed standalone novel. (I’ve completed it several times.) It amounts to several books over several years.

 

My hope (I wouldn’t call it an expectation) was that by now one or more of the following may have happened:

 

1.    I’d be able to give up non-book related work. In fact, periodically, I’ve had to take on additional freelance work or get a part-time job.

2.    I’d be talking at book festivals.

3.    I’d be invited to talk at book festivals. This one did happen but Covid got in the way.

4.    My books would be translated into other languages (and not just by pirates).

5.    I do a book signing somewhere.

 

That’s some authentic disappointment right there!

 

Now, if we’re talking authenticity then that also requires recognising some painful truths that address most of the above points.

 

A)   The books that I write don’t sell well enough to deliver on the above wish list and no amount of positive reframing will make it so. Don’t get me wrong, I do earn from them – just not a living.

B)   My publisher does an excellent job of promoting books. I say that without reservation, not least because I know how challenging it can be to promote my self-published works. However, they rightly expect a return on their investment.

C)    The fault, therefore, if fault it be, lies not in my stars but in my writing.

 

If you’re looking for insights or a call to action, this might be the time to nip out for a biscuit.

 

Writing authentically means writing the stories that matter to you and in your own unique style. Neither of which guarantees an agent, a publisher, or a readership.

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B0034ORY08/allbooks

 

* I would – I wrote it.

 

 

News from the near future

A Universal Declaration of Human Responsibilities (news from the near future)

Can the Universal Declaration of Human Rights ever be more than a set of aspirations, which do not reflect the world we live in? The UDHR has been in place since 1948. More than 70 years later, there is still no mandate behind it and only around 50 countries – out of the 192 sovereign States that comprise the United Nations – are members of the Human Rights Council.

One might reasonably argue that unilaterally enshrining the 30 Articles of the UDHR within the laws of any society, nation or country is a step in the right direction, but would that go far enough? What would happen if we reinterpreted those rights as a Universal Declaration of Human Responsibilities?

As you'll see below, my version is surprisingly authoritarian, underlying the cliché that the further to the left you venture, the more to the right you become.

 

R1. Everyone will respect the dignity and rights of others, with conscience and reasoning. (No issues here, as long as we all play fair.)

R2. Everyone will respect everyone else’s race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. (Not sure quite how we'd respect the opinions of bigots – give them their own TV network, maybe?)

R3. Everyone is responsible for his or her own life, liberty and security. (Ooh, guns.)

R4. No one will enslave another or hold another person in servitude. (Wave goodbye to your cheap clothes and electronic goods.)

R5. No one shall torture, be cruel to, degrade or punish another person. (That’s Reality Television, several newspapers, and a few news shows out of business then.)

R6. Everyone must recognize everyone before the law. (Maybe a microchip or ID card would help that process...)

R7. You must afford everyone equal protection of the law. (Even if they don't have money or influence with the judiciary.)

R8. Everyone is responsible for ensuring tribunals are fair. (Maybe we could televise them.)

R9. No one shall arbitrarily arrest, detain or exile another. (Even if they are non-Caucasian. I envisage a lot of retraining here!)

R10. All public hearings must be fair, independent and impartial. (Even the ones for unlawful wars or lying to Congress.)

R11. You have a responsibility to be innocent according to law in a public trial. (Hooray, an end to crime.) And you can only commit an offence if it wasn’t a penal offence, under national or international law, when you did it. (Erm…run that by me again?)

R12. Don’t interfere arbitrarily in other people’s privacy, family, home or correspondence. Don’t attack their honor and reputation. (To put it another way: Don’t print or read tabloid newspapers, and avoid social media sites.)

R13. You are responsible for finding your own place to live, in your own country. You are also responsible for going to another country if you don’t like it, and you can come back if you don’t like it there either.

R14. You are responsible for seeking asylum if you’re being persecuted. You cannot do this if you’ve committed non-political crimes or gone against the purposes and principles (and responsibilities!) of the United Nations.

R15. Everyone has the responsibility to support his / her / their nation. Alternatively, they can change their nationality and support that one instead. (The really wealthy people can just go live on an island.)

R16. If you form a relationship and have a family, you are responsible for them, first and foremost. Not the State – you. You must recognize and protect the family, as the natural and fundamental group unit of society. No fertilization without representation.

R17. You are responsible for getting your own property, either alone or with others. And you cannot take someone else’s property. (Even if you call their land your land.)

R18. You must decide what to believe and follow those beliefs. Or have no beliefs and do likewise. Or change your mind. (And so must everyone else – they don’t need you to tell them what to believe and how to live. It’ll be just like that scene in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.)

R19. You must think for yourself and ensure others do the same without interference from people like you – or like them. (Bye bye TV evangelists.)

R20. You must meet peacefully. (Is this an end to bars?) You must not compel others to join your association or be compelled by someone else. (No more protests in the street or online petitions.)

R21. You must take part in the government of your country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. (In a word: vote.) You must use and support public services. (E.g. The Library.) You must ensure that any government abides by the will of the people, and again don’t forget to vote.

R22. You must take only the social security to which you are entitled. (Or, as it’s also known: taxpayers' dollars. Not sure if tax cuts amount to social security for wealthy folks.)

R23. You must work, but you can choose which job you do. When you’re unemployed, don’t take more than your fair share. Everyone must demand equal pay for equal work completed. (Smokers, slackers and Facebookers, take note.) Everyone must pay or receive favorable remuneration, for a dignified life for themselves and their family. (It’s not just for bankers, celebrities, sports stars, models and politicians anymore.) Everyone must form or join a trade union. (However, as you can't compel anyone else now, you may have to form your own union and hope for the best.)

R24. Everyone must take responsibility for their own rest and leisure, for keeping to their working hours and for taking their paid vacations. (And hopefully there’ll be a job to come back to.)

R25. You are responsible for creating an adequate standard of living for the health and well being of you and your family. This includes feeding and clothing them, keeping a roof over their heads, keeping them healthy and providing for their long-term well being. Mothers and children must seek special care and assistance where required. And treat all children the same whether they’re born in marriage or not. (You created them, so you deal with them for life.)

R26. You have a responsibility to acquire an education – to turn up, pay attention and learn. (If you enter higher education, you better damn well do the studying and pass the exams. Gap year, my ass.) While being educated, develop yourself and respect and befriend others. Parents must be actively involved in the education of their children, preferably before they start school. (Parents’ night, the Christmas school concert and a PTA meeting won’t even scratch the surface.)

R27. Everyone must participate in their community’s cultural life, enjoy the arts and share in scientific advancement and its benefits. (That means leaving your house.) Everyone must protect the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of themselves or others. (So no more illegal streaming or file sharing.)

R28. Everyone must support and maintain the social and international order that these responsibilities create. (Whether you like it or not!)

R29. You must serve your community and take responsibility for your own development. You must obey the law, respect rights and freedoms of others and meet standards of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society - as long as it doesn’t violate any of the other responsibilities. (Not sure what happens for the undemocratic societies.)

R30. You must not cite this document as an excuse for any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights, freedoms and mandatory responsibilities set forth herein. Good luck with that.

Enjoy your utopia – I give it two weeks, at best.

I don’t get it!

 

Why not getting what you want can be good for you (even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time).

We’ve all been there. That make-or-break, do-or-die scenario where we feel it in our bones that this is our perfect moment. Heck, we might even hear Martine McCutcheon tuning up in the background. It could be a job, a project, a pitch to a literary agent, or a relationship…anything that matters to us.

And then somehow, impossibly, it doesn’t go our way.

 

What can we learn from disappointment, defeat and disaster?

Quite a lot, actually.

 

1.    We can learn resilience. Think of it as resistance training for the ego / soul! 

 

2.    We can learn to adapt if faced with unexpected outcomes. When one door closes…basically the door is shut so there’s no sense in waiting there any longer. We have to decide what we do next.

 

3.    We can learn not to associate our contributions – or our self-worth – with external outcomes, especially the negative outcomes. (Eventually we can apply the same approach to our successes as well.) Rudyard Kipling was on to something.

 

4.    We can learn to focus on our inputs – those things we can actually control. That, in turn, may bring discernment so that we make wiser choices at the outset.

 

5.    Sometimes what we want isn’t what we need. A deeper understanding of why you wanted something in the first place brings self-knowledge.

 

6.    We’ll eventually disavow the notion that the world is fair or a meritocracy. It isn’t. Understanding that will inform your expectations.

 

7.    We learn that not only is it not all about us, it never was.

 

 

“We are not defined by what happens to us, but by what we do about what happens to us.”*

 

About me

I'm a freelance writer, serial novelist, and speaker.*

My books live here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B0034ORY08/allbooks

 

* And even that definition is a limited perspective.

What if there were no wrong answers?

 

“People are like dice. We throw ourselves in the direction of our own choosing.” 

- Jean-Paul Sartre

 

I had a thought experiment recently. Not as paradigm shifting as any of Einstein’s but, well, food for thought – for me. I imagined myself teaching a class of children for a lesson and deciding that we’d do something a bit different, something that might change their understanding of their potential or the nature of reality. You know, the small stuff.

 

The ‘experiment within the experiment’ was for each child to throw a pair of dice together and I’d write the outcomes beside their names on a blackboard.

 

Of course, there was a range of outcomes from double six to double one and various permutations in between. I imagined that the boy who rolled a double six considered himself the winner (he was a boy in my imagination) and a girl who rolled a two-and-a-one (again, it’s what I saw) felt disappointed.

 

I then explained to them that any outcomes – assuming a balanced pair of dice and similar throwing techniques (i.e. no cheating) – had an equal probability of occurring. Any significance in a particular score was in the eye of the beholder, unless rules had been agreed beforehand (which wasn’t the case). We then, as a class, tried to work out (sometimes elaborate) rules whereby each pair of dice scores could be declared the winner.

 

For example, a double one would win lowest score; a two and a one would win ‘lowest dice throw combinations where one die score is twice that of the other’. The skill lay in coming up with a meaningful – for them – rule that celebrated their random dice throws.

 

In my imagination each of the children found, or were helped to find, a rule whereby they were the winner/s.

 

How does this relate to creativity, writing or the freelancing business?

 

Good question.

 

Often, especially when it comes to creativity, we do something first and then decide if it was successful afterwards without identifying measures beforehand. Usually it’s based more on whether we like the outcome than any other benchmark.

 

But we decide. And success or failure, however we define them, happens because of the confluence of a lot of factors: timing, who sees it and the extent of their influence, luck, who or what else we’re competing with, etc.

 

Attitude is a huge factor as well because it may influence how we interpret our experience. In my thought experiment I imagined each of those children feeling like a winner and recognising, perhaps fleetingly, that they can all be winners when they see outcomes in a way that means something positive to them.

 

What about the world and objective success?

 

What’s our yardstick? If we’re not starving, being bombed or having our freedom of speech curtailed, that feels like a win. If we have a roof over our heads and the opportunity to be creative or run a business, that feels like a win to me.

 

Yes, the cynics will sneer, but what about hard currency from our professions – in pounds, dollars, and euros. (Okay, for LinkedIn as well, crypto too.) You’d need to bring in other factors like education, your product or service, your target audience, and your understanding of – and position in – the marketplace. Plus budget, your network, your ability to sell, and whether you have a convincing story.

 

But it all starts from somewhere and I believe it’s not the roll of the dice so much as the decision to roll those dice and what you make of the outcomes.*

 

 

* For clarity, not every business will be financially sustainable, nor every work of art appreciated and suitably rewarded. I get that. If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something about it or do something else.

What to do for the best?

Have you ever been watching television and out of the blue you catch a line of dialogue or a theme, and then suddenly you’re thinking about the programme in a completely different way? That happened twice for me in the past week.

 

The first time I was watching a documentary about The Hollies on Sky Arts. I’m a bit of a fan anyway but I didn’t know much about them, except that Graham Nash left the group – and his old life – to travel to California where he joined David Crosby and Stephen Stills and form their eponymous super group.

 

Long story short, Nash wanted to be more experimental while the rest of the group preferred sticking to a successful formula as a pop group with incredible harmonies. Despite Nash’s departure marking the beginning of the end, during this period they released their two most celebrated tracks: He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother and The Air That I Breathe,

 

The lightbulb moment, as I saw it, is that they knew what they were good at and were happy to carry on with it. They weren’t trying to be something different for the sake of it, and that holds true for Graham Nash as well. We all have our own star to follow.

 

The second flicker of light came while flicking through the channels in that way that makes my partner want to confiscate the remote control. I landed on an episode of Gogglebox and the ‘audience’ were watching the singer Jane MacDonald put on a show. I say ‘watching’ but taking the piss from the comfort of their comfy chairs, while eating the takeaways that the TV company pay for, might be more accurate. I’m not familiar with Jane’s work, and I’m no musical critic, but her voice seemed good to me. There might have been a wobble or two in her live show but certainly fewer than The Hollies’ live performances.

 

I watched the gogglers, watching Jane, and it seemed to sum up everything that’s wrong with social media. We can easily become armchair critics, puffed up by our self-importance, failing to recognise that it takes hard work and determination to make something and to put yourself and your work out there. Of course, there’s not much of a TV format in that.

 

Why does any of this matter? In fact, does any of it matter?

 

Well, it does if you want it to. Authenticity is bandied about in the creative arts (and beyond) as if it were a cure-all for guaranteed personal fulfilment, sales and success. Being who we are is really only the beginning. It gives us clarity about what we want to offer and then we can think about how to develop it and present it to its best effect.

 

The Hollies remind us that talent has its own lines of least resistance. That when we understand what we do well it’s easier to do that very thing and to own it. Gogglebox reminds us that not every critic comes from a place of understanding or knowledge. Sometimes they’re being deliberately provocative because that’s the role they’ve taken on, or that is their skill. Like a toddler who can’t build a tower of blocks but is happy to knock over yours, again and again.

 

Speaking of TV, have you checked out the site TV Heaven for a celebration of programmes past and present? Here's one of my contributions:

https://televisionheaven.co.uk/articles/downbeat-endings

I write British spy thrillers and crime mysteries. You can find them here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B0034ORY08

 

I am also a freelance writer and comms specialist.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/professionalwriter1/

An Inconvenient Store

Back in 2022 Co-op sold off its petrol stations (and associated Co-op forecourt shops) to Asda. Our local forecourt Co-op was very much a community shop – we knew many of the staff by name and there was a buzz about the place.

 

Fast-forward a couple of years and the shop’s livery isn’t the only change. Despite seeing these former Co-op shops as a "significant growth opportunity for the business" something seems to have been lost in transition:

 

-       Asda Reward cards are not accepted at Asda Express stores

-       Asda special offers are not available at Asda Express stores

-       Cashback is not available at Asda Express stores

-       It is not possible to order in Asda food items at Asda Express stores

-       Quite often, a full range of fruit and veg isn’t available from our Asda Express store

 

I contacted the Asda team on Twitter in July 2024, who promised to forward my concerns. I contacted them again in October because nothing had changed and no one had got back to me. In their reply they stated:

 

“I wouldn't be able to tell you if any action has been taken as this is against our policy. Please be assured this has been fed back to (the) store and has been logged here at Asda Head Office.”

 

Someone-in-the-know suggested I contacted Lord Stuart Rose, who took on the role of CEO in September 2024, so I wrote to him.

 

The Asda Executive Relations Team telephoned me and emailed me on his behalf, promising to look into the patchy fruit and veg and asking what I bought from Co-op that I can no longer get there. I told them and they couldn’t get it there for me either.

 

I explained that there are four competitors’ outlets within a three-mile radius that do operate loyalty schemes so they’re steadily eroding their own customer base. When they talked about the acquisition of these 'small convenience stores' I pointed out that the shop in question had seven tills, albeit with hardly anybody using them when I was last there.

 

The call ended in a stalemate with the ERT assuring me that these concerns would carefully considered (again). And, as a show of thanks, they would send me a voucher, which could be used at any Asda outlet, including Asda Express.

 

I popped down there, collected some treats and presented my voucher. The person on the till informed me that Asda Express doesn’t accept Asda vouchers – apparently it’s a different system – so I put the goods back on the shelves (anyone who knows me will understand my pain at having to return chocolate) and walked out.

 

Naturally, I went back to the ERT to denounce their voucher. They suggested I go to my nearest (genuine) Asda store, which would entail a round trip of 20 miles. It feels like no one has thought this through properly. Not for the fantastic – and increasingly sparse – staff in store, not for the customers, and not for the Asda brand.

Envy Queue

At the last count, I have six CVs. As any expert will tell you it’s never a case of one size fits all, and the key lies in attuning the CV to the client or opportunity. It’s a sort of stylised authenticity.

 

What I find mildly fascinating is the filtering process, which is often driven by space as much as any other considerations. For example, I rarely refer to my stint as an NVQ Assessor (Customer Service and Business Administration – thanks for asking), unless it’s for a role that has a similar approach to data handling or detail-orientated work.

 

I last assessed an NVQ more than 20 years ago and I recently learned that they were withdrawn in 2015, in preference for the Qualifications and Credit Framework (QCF). It might also explain why that particular batphone hasn’t rung for a while.

 

I remember assessing three people in a six-month period (two for Cust Serv and one for Bus Admin). What stood out for me was how indifferent the candidates were about the qualification and how passively they approached both the study and evidence gathering. It seemed to be a case that the employer/s wanted their staff to have them but hadn’t really sold them on the value of NVQs, the process, or the amount of work required.

 

For one candidate I attended a call centre and completed a series of observations, followed by two Q&A sessions and an evidence review. The candidate, clearly a conscript, showed almost zero proactivity. I checked and rechecked their understanding about what was required, and how they planned to break down the tasks and map the outcomes to the modules, and they made all the right noises. But in the end it became clear that they were hoping I could repeat the success of the first signed off module (i.e. I observe them in their day-to-day work and effectively fill in the blanks with them). We arranged numerous meetings and agreed milestone dates but they never progressed beyond that one module.

 

Now, they may have had other things going on in their life and, without doubt, a full-time job does not always lend itself to professional development, but I don’t think we could have made the process less onerous.

 

Another candidate wanted to do Business Admin NVQ Level 3, but their employer would only support it at Level 2. The knock-on effect was that the candidate remained less than committed. Considerably less.

 

They dragged their heels with the ‘coursework’ for so long, and with so many extensions granted, that they eventually completed it less than a month before they were due to leave the job. The NVQ team (Internal Verifier and beyond) were not prepared to process it because by the time an NVQ would have been awarded the person would no longer be in the job. Or possibly any job.

 

I’ll spare you the tale of the third candidate but, suffice it to say, things did not go well. Now, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde, three strike-outs begins to look like carelessness.

 

In the end, much like gardening, even though we can prepare the ground and provide all the necessary conditions, sometimes the ground remains fallow.

 

Perhaps NVQs were not for them and, in some parallel universe they’re writing a blog post about the terrible employers that made them start an NVQ they didn’t want, and how they rebelled by failing to do the work. Who knows?

 

My point, if there is any, is that sometimes all we can do is turn up and give it our best shot. Now, tell me more about QCFs…

 

 

Why are we picking on Richard Osman?

 

Why are we picking on Richard Osman?

 

(How we got it all wrong about writers and publishing.)

 

Not a month goes by without one of my many author friends, or some stranger online, having a pop at Richard Osman. And yes, I have felt the occasional twinge of gluckschmerz myself. But I think I’m cured – more on that later.

 

The criticisms of Mr Osman usually fall into a few categories:

 

1.     He went to the right university so doors are open to him that remain closed to mere mortals.

2.     He was already fantastically successful so he is really just another celebrity ‘having a go at writing books’.

3.     His high profile garners free publicity on TV and beyond that other jobbing writers will never see.

4.     His celebrity-endorsed novels are taking oxygen away from other novelists.

5.     His novels aren’t very good.

 

I’ve done a modicum of research (i.e. trawling the web before posting this) and here are my thoughts…

 

1.     Yes, he went to Cambridge. And if he hadn’t, that doesn’t mean they would have been knocking on your door to fill an empty desk (they have desks there, right?).

2.     I’m not sure four novels and a fifth in development constitutes ‘having a go’. Should there be a limit on creative endeavours?

3.     True and true. There’s a hierarchy of success in every branch of the arts. And everywhere else, actually. Would you have turned down a TV plug for one of your novels?

4.     Yes and no. Let’s think about the world of publishing for a moment. Publishers exist to sell books. Promoting RO’s books generates sure-fire sales, which in turn leads to profits.

5.     I mean, who decides when it comes to popular fiction? Speaking as an author who received a one-word review that read ‘awful’, who am I to judge? And if we’re talking about ‘good’ what are the criteria? I received another review that one of my books was ‘a good airport read’ and I was pleased. One thing is certain: Richard’s books sell well.

 

So what cured me of gluckschmerz? I’m not really sure but I can tell you exactly when I noticed it.

 

My fellow author, Emma Bennet, posted online that she had just received word of a four-book audio deal. My immediate reaction was delight – for her. End of story (pardon the pun…). I know how much effort it takes to write a novel – even if it’s an airport read – and I know how engaged she is with her audience. If I’m happy for someone I know, why wouldn’t I be happy for someone I don’t know?

 

And let’s not forget, before I welcome a barrage of comments about privilege, and what about my recent post on class, Richard Osman has had his challenges. His father abandoned the family when he was young and he (Richard) has longstanding health issues.

 

You see, dear reader, I’ve come to the conclusion that life is like a game of bridge. I mean, it isn’t, but it will do as an analogy. I started learning bridge (but poorly) just before the pandemic took hold.

 

When I started out I thought that the object was to make the highest number of points. I now see it differently. The skill lies in assessing the strength of your and your partner’s hands in order to bid an achievable contract. Sometimes the distribution of cards mean you exceed your bid; other times it works against you. To me it’s a study of possibility and probability.

 

In cards as in life, and back to books. The song says it’s not where you start it’s where you finish, but, statistically speaking, that’s really down to the strength of your hand.