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| Photo by kind permission of V Sunkmanitu (see link below) |
Ways in which I've made a tit* out of myself as a writer (in no particular order).
1. Waiting one year, three months and 16 days to get a reply
from a publisher. Mercifully, not an exclusive submission, but why, why, why
did I bother?
2. Using the phrase, 'Yours ethically,' to a client (who
freaked a little and went elsewhere).
3. Making a flippant comment to an agent after waiting an
extra week to hear about a writing competition, only to hear that the reason my
email had been delayed was that I'd been shortlisted. I didn't win, which
arguably is karma.
4. Not asking, up front, what the rate was per word, and then
having to listen to a load of pony about what a great opportunity it will be for me in
the long-term. That is, once I'd learned to go without food.
5. Writing at a rate per word where, ordinarily, outside the
writing world, you'd be searching the job ads during your teabreak.
6. Taking FOREVER to take the plunge and self-publish my own
novel. I mean, seriously, what IS the worst that could happen? Nobody buys and
reads it? Shit, that's the situation if it isn't published. I lose a little
money on it? Big deal - as long as I learn something. To be filed under 'don't
be a wuss'.
7. Letting two payment deadlines go by before issuing a client with a take
down notice. (If I just love them even more, maybe they'll change...).
8. Agreeing to exclusive electronic rights for two years,
which is the approximate lifepsan of a mosquito fish. Just in case you were
wondering.
9. While attending a writing course in London, after work,
the tutor snootily asked me to define my work for the benefit of him and the class. I explained that the essence of
the novel (see, I can do snooty, too) was that the plot mattered more than the
individual characters.
"Ah, he nodded sagely, you've obviously read a
great deal of Chekhov."
"No," I replied, "but I've watched all his appearances
in Star Trek." Phasers on pun.
10. Admitting all the above in a blog post.
* Photograph provided by Wolf Photography and Villayat Sunkmanitu.
Don't be shy - share your creative confessions in the comments box.
