Adventures in Freelance Writing

Contemplating the forget-me-nots

 

When people embark on a career* as a freelance writer there is often a dewy-eyed expectation of ‘the writing life’. The elements change from person to person – apart from the money part! – but the holy grail of freelancing is reaching a point where people contact you to say they love your work and they want you to write for them.

 

It all began one sunny afternoon when I was passing through LinkedIn, scattering comments like wildflower seeds. I have a varied ‘community’ across a lot of different business sectors but what links us is a fondness for humour and language.

 

Somewhere along the line I’d said something funny and someone I didn’t know well responded to my comment with a suggestion that I write for them. Before you can say ‘slide into my DMs’ we were thrashing out the details. At least, I was.

 

Day 1 Client tells me about his business interests and his lifestyle. I check out his website and formulate some ideas.

 

Day 1 I send the client two draft pieces for them to consider and ask about their budget.

 

Day 7 I send a follow-up message in case they had any queries.

 

Day 11 I check whether the client wants me to send anything else.

 

Day 11 Client responds one minute later to say they’ve been busy but they’ll read the content today.

 

Day 13 As there’s still no response from the client about my content or their budget I thank them for their time and move on.

 

Day 13 Client responds four minutes later, says my work is very good and can they have my phone number.

 

Day 13 I ask the client what their budget is per piece / word / project.

 

Day 13 Client replies: I don’t set budgets I just say yes or no. (In my head I hear the voice of Lou Grant.) Client prefers one of the two draft pieces and also compliments my podcast work.

 

Day 14 I quote an introductory discount rate for the finished piece, for first rights.

 

Day 14 Client replies within the hour with a two-word response: Too high.

 

Day 14 A few hours later I thank the client for their time move on.

 

Day 14 Client responds fifteen minutes later: I think people that write have to realise that small publications don’t have the readership or the income to afford material like this so unless you’re willing to work for much less money, it just doesn’t make sense.

 

Day 14 I thank client for their response and remind them that I asked twice about their budget and instead they left it open to me. I add that it doesn't make sense for me, as working writer, to work for much less money unless there are other drivers such as a longer-term arrangement, doing it for fun instead (guess again), or if the organisation is a non-profit. Then, with one eye on this blog post, I ask what rate they were hoping for. They never respond again.

 

 

Now, it would be easy and churlish to criticise a client for their response times, their lack of transparency and their dismissive attitude towards working writers. It could be funny too, but that’s not the intention here.

 

There could be several reasons for the pricing disconnect:

1.    Non-writers think it takes very little time to write quality material

2.    The client was used to people writing for very little money

3.    The client thought that writers are ten-a-penny and someone else would do it for the exposure

4.    The client was desperate

 

None of which are my problem.

 

As a footnote, I checked out their website, just to make sure my work hadn’t been appropriated, and it’s no longer available.

 

If you’re on LinkedIn and you’re looking for a writer, here’s where to find me:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/professionalwriter1/

 

 *  May contain traces of cynicism

Authenticity is an onion

I didn't have any photos of onions.

 

There is a lot of talk about authenticity. It’s the word of the moment for writers (and other creative types). Generally, it’s interpreted as a distillation of the old maxim - because there never seems to be any new ones: Write about what you know.

What you know can apply to subject matter, characters, setting, dialogue, genre, plot… you get the picture. Personally, I prefer the new maxim (ta-da!): know what you’re writing about.*

 

But it seems to me there’s another string to authenticity’s bow, one that produces a missing chord. To be an authentic writer is to not only recognise your influences, cultural conditioning, class, gender, ethnicity, politics, personal psychology and any other lenses; it’s also incumbent upon us to recognise our limitations (innate and otherwise).

 

I know that’s not a popular stance because we want to believe we can create our own reality and forge our destiny as writers. But I believe in statistics and experience (mine and other people’s) more than I believe in the power of beliefs.

 

Walk with me while I spill my guts.

 

I’ve had seven novels published and I self-published two others; plus there’s a mid-grade book and a completed standalone novel. (I’ve completed it several times.) It amounts to several books over several years.

 

My hope (I wouldn’t call it an expectation) was that by now one or more of the following may have happened:

 

1.    I’d be able to give up non-book related work. In fact, periodically, I’ve had to take on additional freelance work or get a part-time job.

2.    I’d be talking at book festivals.

3.    I’d be invited to talk at book festivals. This one did happen but Covid got in the way.

4.    My books would be translated into other languages (and not just by pirates).

5.    I do a book signing somewhere.

 

That’s some authentic disappointment right there!

 

Now, if we’re talking authenticity then that also requires recognising some painful truths that address most of the above points.

 

A)   The books that I write don’t sell well enough to deliver on the above wish list and no amount of positive reframing will make it so. Don’t get me wrong, I do earn from them – just not a living.

B)   My publisher does an excellent job of promoting books. I say that without reservation, not least because I know how challenging it can be to promote my self-published works. However, they rightly expect a return on their investment.

C)    The fault, therefore, if fault it be, lies not in my stars but in my writing.

 

If you’re looking for insights or a call to action, this might be the time to nip out for a biscuit.

 

Writing authentically means writing the stories that matter to you and in your own unique style. Neither of which guarantees an agent, a publisher, or a readership.

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B0034ORY08/allbooks

 

* I would – I wrote it.

 

 

News from the near future

A Universal Declaration of Human Responsibilities (news from the near future)

Can the Universal Declaration of Human Rights ever be more than a set of aspirations, which do not reflect the world we live in? The UDHR has been in place since 1948. More than 70 years later, there is still no mandate behind it and only around 50 countries – out of the 192 sovereign States that comprise the United Nations – are members of the Human Rights Council.

One might reasonably argue that unilaterally enshrining the 30 Articles of the UDHR within the laws of any society, nation or country is a step in the right direction, but would that go far enough? What would happen if we reinterpreted those rights as a Universal Declaration of Human Responsibilities?

As you'll see below, my version is surprisingly authoritarian, underlying the cliché that the further to the left you venture, the more to the right you become.

 

R1. Everyone will respect the dignity and rights of others, with conscience and reasoning. (No issues here, as long as we all play fair.)

R2. Everyone will respect everyone else’s race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. (Not sure quite how we'd respect the opinions of bigots – give them their own TV network, maybe?)

R3. Everyone is responsible for his or her own life, liberty and security. (Ooh, guns.)

R4. No one will enslave another or hold another person in servitude. (Wave goodbye to your cheap clothes and electronic goods.)

R5. No one shall torture, be cruel to, degrade or punish another person. (That’s Reality Television, several newspapers, and a few news shows out of business then.)

R6. Everyone must recognize everyone before the law. (Maybe a microchip or ID card would help that process...)

R7. You must afford everyone equal protection of the law. (Even if they don't have money or influence with the judiciary.)

R8. Everyone is responsible for ensuring tribunals are fair. (Maybe we could televise them.)

R9. No one shall arbitrarily arrest, detain or exile another. (Even if they are non-Caucasian. I envisage a lot of retraining here!)

R10. All public hearings must be fair, independent and impartial. (Even the ones for unlawful wars or lying to Congress.)

R11. You have a responsibility to be innocent according to law in a public trial. (Hooray, an end to crime.) And you can only commit an offence if it wasn’t a penal offence, under national or international law, when you did it. (Erm…run that by me again?)

R12. Don’t interfere arbitrarily in other people’s privacy, family, home or correspondence. Don’t attack their honor and reputation. (To put it another way: Don’t print or read tabloid newspapers, and avoid social media sites.)

R13. You are responsible for finding your own place to live, in your own country. You are also responsible for going to another country if you don’t like it, and you can come back if you don’t like it there either.

R14. You are responsible for seeking asylum if you’re being persecuted. You cannot do this if you’ve committed non-political crimes or gone against the purposes and principles (and responsibilities!) of the United Nations.

R15. Everyone has the responsibility to support his / her / their nation. Alternatively, they can change their nationality and support that one instead. (The really wealthy people can just go live on an island.)

R16. If you form a relationship and have a family, you are responsible for them, first and foremost. Not the State – you. You must recognize and protect the family, as the natural and fundamental group unit of society. No fertilization without representation.

R17. You are responsible for getting your own property, either alone or with others. And you cannot take someone else’s property. (Even if you call their land your land.)

R18. You must decide what to believe and follow those beliefs. Or have no beliefs and do likewise. Or change your mind. (And so must everyone else – they don’t need you to tell them what to believe and how to live. It’ll be just like that scene in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.)

R19. You must think for yourself and ensure others do the same without interference from people like you – or like them. (Bye bye TV evangelists.)

R20. You must meet peacefully. (Is this an end to bars?) You must not compel others to join your association or be compelled by someone else. (No more protests in the street or online petitions.)

R21. You must take part in the government of your country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. (In a word: vote.) You must use and support public services. (E.g. The Library.) You must ensure that any government abides by the will of the people, and again don’t forget to vote.

R22. You must take only the social security to which you are entitled. (Or, as it’s also known: taxpayers' dollars. Not sure if tax cuts amount to social security for wealthy folks.)

R23. You must work, but you can choose which job you do. When you’re unemployed, don’t take more than your fair share. Everyone must demand equal pay for equal work completed. (Smokers, slackers and Facebookers, take note.) Everyone must pay or receive favorable remuneration, for a dignified life for themselves and their family. (It’s not just for bankers, celebrities, sports stars, models and politicians anymore.) Everyone must form or join a trade union. (However, as you can't compel anyone else now, you may have to form your own union and hope for the best.)

R24. Everyone must take responsibility for their own rest and leisure, for keeping to their working hours and for taking their paid vacations. (And hopefully there’ll be a job to come back to.)

R25. You are responsible for creating an adequate standard of living for the health and well being of you and your family. This includes feeding and clothing them, keeping a roof over their heads, keeping them healthy and providing for their long-term well being. Mothers and children must seek special care and assistance where required. And treat all children the same whether they’re born in marriage or not. (You created them, so you deal with them for life.)

R26. You have a responsibility to acquire an education – to turn up, pay attention and learn. (If you enter higher education, you better damn well do the studying and pass the exams. Gap year, my ass.) While being educated, develop yourself and respect and befriend others. Parents must be actively involved in the education of their children, preferably before they start school. (Parents’ night, the Christmas school concert and a PTA meeting won’t even scratch the surface.)

R27. Everyone must participate in their community’s cultural life, enjoy the arts and share in scientific advancement and its benefits. (That means leaving your house.) Everyone must protect the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of themselves or others. (So no more illegal streaming or file sharing.)

R28. Everyone must support and maintain the social and international order that these responsibilities create. (Whether you like it or not!)

R29. You must serve your community and take responsibility for your own development. You must obey the law, respect rights and freedoms of others and meet standards of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society - as long as it doesn’t violate any of the other responsibilities. (Not sure what happens for the undemocratic societies.)

R30. You must not cite this document as an excuse for any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights, freedoms and mandatory responsibilities set forth herein. Good luck with that.

Enjoy your utopia – I give it two weeks, at best.

I don’t get it!

 

Why not getting what you want can be good for you (even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time).

We’ve all been there. That make-or-break, do-or-die scenario where we feel it in our bones that this is our perfect moment. Heck, we might even hear Martine McCutcheon tuning up in the background. It could be a job, a project, a pitch to a literary agent, or a relationship…anything that matters to us.

And then somehow, impossibly, it doesn’t go our way.

 

What can we learn from disappointment, defeat and disaster?

Quite a lot, actually.

 

1.    We can learn resilience. Think of it as resistance training for the ego / soul! 

 

2.    We can learn to adapt if faced with unexpected outcomes. When one door closes…basically the door is shut so there’s no sense in waiting there any longer. We have to decide what we do next.

 

3.    We can learn not to associate our contributions – or our self-worth – with external outcomes, especially the negative outcomes. (Eventually we can apply the same approach to our successes as well.) Rudyard Kipling was on to something.

 

4.    We can learn to focus on our inputs – those things we can actually control. That, in turn, may bring discernment so that we make wiser choices at the outset.

 

5.    Sometimes what we want isn’t what we need. A deeper understanding of why you wanted something in the first place brings self-knowledge.

 

6.    We’ll eventually disavow the notion that the world is fair or a meritocracy. It isn’t. Understanding that will inform your expectations.

 

7.    We learn that not only is it not all about us, it never was.

 

 

“We are not defined by what happens to us, but by what we do about what happens to us.”*

 

About me

I'm a freelance writer, serial novelist, and speaker.*

My books live here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B0034ORY08/allbooks

 

* And even that definition is a limited perspective.