Along The Write Lines

She did it her way

2012-02-12T13:33:00.011Z

There are many benefits to being part of a writing community. You get to share in other people's success, you can receive valuable feedback from people who've walked down a similar road, and you can swap the odd contact or reference resource.

I'm a regular visitor to the Strictly Writing blog and recently heard that fellow scribe, Deborah Riccio, has self-published her second book, Re:Becca So naturally, I wanted to find out what made her choose that route and what makes her tick.

Q1 What's your approach as a writer?

When I get an idea it has to ‘work’ in my head before I’ll go anywhere with it, which seems like such an obvious thing to say now I’ve written it down. It might be the greatest idea I think I’m ever going to have, but it has to undergo the Interview from Hell in my Head. Yes, but what would happen IF… COULD this happen? Would it be too unbelievable if… (silly, considering it’s fiction anyway). And the killer query: “Where do you see yourself in 200 pages’ time?”. If there’s a plot that I think I could happily drive then the characters are secondary – until they hit the screen – and then they take over the whole story and I find the original 'idea' changing to accommodate them, not the other way round.

As an incredibly inquisitive person, teen writing allows me to be at my annoying, probing best. Teens want to know EVERYTHING and they are pretty much fearless in their pursuit of anything because adulthood hasn’t dulled their perceptions yet. Whilst grown-ups wander about with the recession hanging over their heads, somewhere there’s a girl in the 6^th Form who is seriously worried her nail varnish might chip before morning break. It’s a refreshing counterbalance.

Q2 What do you want readers to know about your work?

Above all that it’s going to be an entertaining read; it won’t be stuffed full of clichés and there won’t be a predictable happy ending. The first book I put on Amazon, ‘DEAD GOOD’ is the first teenage book I ever tried my hand at. And I have Sarra Manning to thank for that. And my daughter, who was a massive Manning fan and left books lying about in the smallest room for me to pick up… too much information, I know. But it was these books that kind of gave me the permission if you like, to write straight from the gut – and a teenage gut is just such a myriad of emotions; they say and do things that adults worry might be socially unacceptable and they don’t have the dreary baggage that adults have – you can get away with so much more writing with a teenage head on. I find teen writing a totally liberating experience (probably because I’m still fifteen in my mind).

Q3 What made you choose self publication, how did you find the process and have there been any surprises along the way? (Three for the price of one!)

After over a decade of ‘serious’ writing – i.e. printing out the first three chapters, angsting over the one-page synopsis and standing in queues in the post office with self-addressed return envelopes THEN The Wait….crossing off rejections (if and) when they came back, I finally got to the stage last year where I had three agents with the full manuscript of the same book. And you don’t need me to tell you how great that felt. The three dwindled to two; the two to one and after I’d re-written the book three times (with 3 different endings) it was still met with a ‘not for us, thanks’ which really, really hurt.

The nuts’n’bolts process of self-publication was pretty easy really (although formatting was a bit of a nightmare). It was convincing my brain to actually do it that was the hardest thing to do. I couldn’t quite equate self-publication with ‘being a writer’ because it wasn’t something that was being validated and supported by either an Agent or a Publisher – I was doing this ALONE and it was scary. What if I actually am a sh*te writer and this is why I’m not represented and NOW everybody will know how crap I really am?

I guess in the end the Su-Bo in me won through and I thought ‘soddit, this is me, take it or leave it. I don’t even have a reputation to uphold.’ I dreamed my dream. (Ha!)

The only surprise I’ve had is that this weekend ‘DEAD GOOD’ is on Kindle for free and downloads have rocketed (from 10 when it cost £2.01 to over 100), so I guess people just love a freebie. Luckily I’m not in it for the money and I’m delighted that so many people have clearly read the sample chapters and still downloaded it – that makes me smile. I had my first review yesterday – from somebody I DON’T actually know and it was such a thrilling thing to read. THIS is what it’s all about.

Q4 Which authors and books have influenced you?

Along with Sarra Manning’s teen books latterly, I’d have to say that it was ‘Watermelon’ by Marian Keyes back in the early 90s that made me realise I could do it. I loved that there was a place in the writing world for overweight women called Denise who ran off with the bloke in the downstairs flat whose wife was just about to give birth. I almost cried with joy when I realised it didn’t all have to be about riding horses, being posh or being a film star that made it onto the bookshelves. Or jolly japes involving five chums, a border collie and lashings of ginger beer. I like a bit of realism, me.

Q5 What are you working on at the moment?

I’ve just put my second Young Adult book up on Amazon, ‘Re:Becca’ which is all about a teen who feels like she doesn’t quite fit into the real world. She gets bullied a bit and when her parents take away her mobile, her internet connection and her iPad she thinks it’s the end of Her World. Which, of course, it isn’t.

I’ve started a Tandem book for this. Following the two bullies that make Becca’s life a hell in Re:Becca, it’s something I’m having a lot of fun with. Unsympathetic main characters are the best – who doesn’t love Ebeneezer Scrooge or The Simpsons’ Mr Burns? Of course I’m also hoping that some kind of ‘message’ comes through about bullying too, especially as it seems to be just as prevalent as it’s always been. Its working title is: ‘In Your Face’. Look out for it.

Q6 You're at a party filled with all sorts of professions. After the writers have left (taking the agents and editors with them...), which group of people do you gravitate towards next?

The stand-up comedians or the ones who look more like students. I guess they’d be having the most fun. I’d hate to get stuck with a Doctor or a Teacher or a Plumber – grown ups talk about the most boring things. I like that there’s still a “what if” in a younger person’s mind as opposed to the endless drudgery that inhabits an adult’s world. And if it’s a comedian, can it please be Dara O’Briain or Sarah Millican?

Q7 What did you dread being asked - and how would you answer the question?

Anything about Booker/Orange Prizes or Awards. They’d be deleted before I even attempted to answer, knowing or caring nothing whatsoever about them!

Lightbulb moments

2012-02-08T16:37:00.008Z

1. If you acted on every request to visit a site, check out a link, comment on a blog, read a blog and read the white paper you'd decided you had to download, you'd never get any actual work done (although you would make a lot of other people happy). It follows then that you can't keep everybody happy, so choose wisely and keep a balance between other people's needs and your own.

2. Competitions and publicity are both good for the soul and useful for raising your profile, but they don't always immediately result in increased sales. You have to fly that flag!

3. Those pellet-like things in the back garden, which look a little like miniature coffee beans are not the poo of some exotic mammal. They are in fact ivy berries. And if you'd realised this early on - or better yet listened to Anne - you could have saved 15 minutes of fruitless (excuse the pun) web searching.

4. When you've finished mourning the magazines and websites you've written for in the past that have gone bust, rejoice anew because the rights to the content are yours.

5. You're a writer not a marketeer (are they the ones in the mouse hats and t-shirts?). If nothing seems to be happening, go and write something.

6. Everything has its seasons and cycles. And each of those seasons has a purpose.

7. For some reason, people really like lists that contain a minimum of seven items.

What he said... aka thanks for that

2012-01-31T23:22:00.004Z

While there is no magic formula, there are certain recurring themes in the 'How I Made It' stories of successful writers. They all had absolute faith. They all wrote with almost religious zeal and they all refused to take 'No' for an answer from life. Most drew upon their own personal experiences and few seem to have had a carefully controlled game plan. Many wrote several novels before getting their big break. Some hit paydirt on the first time out. Many have journalism as a training ground. All love words and felt compelled to tell their stories.

Use what you have. Get what you need. Tell your stories your way and learn your craft as a writer. That will make you more fulfilled, irrespective of whether it gets you published.

The problem with identifying paths and models of excellence is that we are also looking at the matter retrospectively - recognising someone who has achieved something and then asking how they did it. The assumption is not only that those positive behaviours and strategies can be replicated, but also that replicating them will, of itself, lead to some similarly quantifiable success.

Other problems arise in the process of quantification. If we look back at our own lives and achievements, the road to our goal is both hard to chart as a linear journey and excludes the elements of chance, timing and connections.
Add to that the lack of objectivity - for example, how do we even know when something can be considered a success at all - and it becomes apparent that definition of terms, factors and common perceptions is key. Perhaps all we can safely say is that some behaviour - discipline, goal setting, and an attitude of positive expectation about one's inner resources - is that these all make our success (chance, timing and connections - or the lack of them - notwithstanding) more likely. But a two-in-a-million chance is still more likely than a one-in-a-million chance, even though it is - to all intents and purposes - infinitesimally small.

Sinclair Macleod's bit o' banter

2012-01-27T08:19:00.008Z

Of all the Tweets I'd read, Sinclair Macleod's were the only ones to reference Irn Bru, Haggis and Glasgow. I was intrigued, having a fondness for the Dear Green Place myself, after working for a boss based there. In fact, so proudly Glaswegian was she that she referred to Edinburgh simply as 'the other place'. Needless to say, we never had team meetings there.

Somewhere in the annals of this blog, I think I've mentioned Sauciehall Street, and possibly the Clockwork Orange and Kelvingrove. Perhaps too that Glasgow has always reminded me of New York. So I'm delighted to share a virtual conversation with Sinclair Macleod, who talks about his writing and how what makes him tick. It'll take your breath away.

1. What motivates you as a writer?

Since my days at secondary school I have always had a passion for writing. I wrote sketches for school shows and concerts. As an adult I started several novels but never got any further than nine chapters of a space adventure.

When my son, Calum died after contracting bacterial meningitis, I realised that life was too short to put my dreams on hold.

Now I write because I want people to enjoy the stories I have to tell and every word is inspired by and dedicated to Calum.

2. When you started writing your debut novel, had you planned it out first or did the book develop organically?

I started with a plan but at times there seemed to be someone else in control. I created a character in the first book that was to be a regular in the series. One day I finished a chapter and discovered that the character was dead, as if someone had killed it off without my input. It was not what I had planned when I sat down but the story took over and it turned out to be a crucial part of the plot.

3. Does the Glasgow in your books differ in any ways from the Glasgow that people know and love?

Glasgow is a crucial character in the book. It is a city of extreme contrasts in terms of architecture with everything from the mediaeval cathedral to the cutting edge contemporary designs of the modern riverside.

I use many real locations that are very distinctly Glaswegian, such as the former Templeton Carpet Factory that houses Craig’s office and Victorian opulence of the City Chambers, the home of the city council.

Other locations are amalgamations of real places with a little bit of my imagination. The pub that Craig and his friends go to is a combination of three of my favourite bars in the city.

I hope that my descriptions of the city help to give the story a sense of place and character.

4. How do you balance your time spent on writing, editing and promoting your work?

At the moment I am in an intense phase of writing as I try to finish the third book in the series. My wife tends to be my sounding board for creative editing decisions and she helps me to structure the books. My editor, who happens to be my cousin, does the technical editing and I will do a little once the book is getting close to publication.

Promotion is the area that I found the most difficult and the area that does not come naturally. I have promoted the books through local libraries and social media and my blog. I have also had some coverage in the local press recently; which I hope will help to spread the word. Promoting the third book will occupy the majority of my time for a couple of months after its release before I start on the next adventure.

5. Do you find that writing is a cathartic process and what real life influences do you draw upon?

I do find writing a cathartic process, it is a great way to still my thoughts and allow me to escape into my imagination.

I love to watch people and what I learn often finds its way into my characters. For example, I was out with some friends in a pub when a young man approached and offered us some cheap cigarettes. His bag still had the luggage tag from an airline attached to it. It was a perfect little cameo for the book to show one of the many aspects of the city that makes it an interesting place to live.

6. When did you know you had a series and where would you like to take it?

I must confess I wrote the first with the intention of creating a series of books. I think as a writer, a series gives you more scope to develop and evolve your characters. The fact that the first story had been in my head for around eleven years before I made a concerted effort to finish it meant I had plenty of other ideas backed up behind it.

I am hoping to be able to produce audiobooks with the help of an actor friend.

7. What’s your favourite part of Glasgow?

That’s a tough one. The West End is a cosmopolitan and lively part of the city and is home to my protagonist.

If I had to choose a building it would be the House for an Art Lover. It was designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh and showcases some of his finest interior design features.

8. Which books have you written and where can we find them?

The first book is called ‘The Reluctant Detective’ and the second is ‘The Good Girl’. They both feature the insurance investigator turned private detective, Craig Campbell.

You can learn more about them at my website http://www.reluctantdetective.com. Both are available for Kindle, iPad and as paperbacks from Amazon.

I'd just like to thank...

2012-01-19T10:52:00.006Z

Well, all of you really. (The ones who voted, anyway!)

I'm thrilled to announce that The Silent Hills won its general short story category in the recent Preditors & Editors Readers' Poll:

http://www.critters.org/predpoll/final_tally_shortstory.ht

Needless to say - but I'll say it anyway - everyone at Musa Publishing is delighted with the result, especially as The Silent Hills was only published in the latter half of 2011.

If you're still without a copy, you can get it here http://tinyurl.com/6bro36q or on Amazon.

So, what's next for me and Musa?

I'm glad you asked. Later this year, Musa will be published a Tweens / YA ebook, The Superhero Club, about an outsider who learns self acceptance and the value of friendship.

Thanks again, peeps - it's a lovely way to start 2012.

Keeping a Promise

2012-01-16T16:30:00.007Z

Somewhere back in the Cretaceous Period (i.e. in my late teens), I had an idea for a long story. In essence it was about two friends who followed very different paths in life and how those paths crossed in the future. It was set in a sci-fi / fantasy context and drew on my emerging interest in religion, philosophy and all things mystical.

The more I developed the story, the more it drew me in and eventually it became a novel, over a success of exercise books and poorly typed manuscripts. In the beginning, for reasons that wouldn't stack up to scrutiny (unless you enjoy paranormal concepts), the book was named The Promise of a Rainbow. I completed the first developed version (there were many undeveloped versions, believe me) in New York, way back when, and over the years I've picked at it and refined it and smoothed off the rough edges. Think of it as a perfect spot.

A running joke between my friends used to go like this:

Them - "When are you going to finish that book?"

Me - "I've finished it lots of times."

My, how we laughed.

Well, as eagle-eyed blog readers will recall, the book - long since renamed Covenant - has had its own share of misadventures, including: the editor who died, the replacement editor who then hated and rejected the book, the independent publisher who went bankrupt, and the publisher who refused to return the manuscript or answer any email, letter or phone call - and yes, I did try Recorded Delivery.

The thing is, I recently had a request for the full manuscript from a well-known esoteric publisher (Covenant includes such themes as reincarnation and mysticism), so I naturally took the opportunity to give the book one last going over. And therein lies my point. It is the last edit, barring any changes requested by the publisher, if they deign to take Covenant on. I've reached a point where the book is the book and that's all it needs to be.

'What if the publisher declines it?' I hear you thinking. Well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, but another edit isn't on the cards. It is finished.

Context

2012-01-10T10:53:00.004Z

Context is a wonderful thing. Take that image, for example. Just a random pile of coins that I snatched out of my pocket and slammed down. Now notice how many are upright on the edge. Is that typical? I don't know because I'd never done it before. It reminded me of the one, single time that I flipped a coin and it landed edge up.

In my experience, all forms of writing are a dance between content and context - between what is being presented (be it fiction or non-fiction) and the environment in which that information exists.

How the reader cheers when the zero becomes the hero, after seeing all their humiliations and failures. But only because the writer has created a context where that final, triumphant breakthrough is recognised as such a change from the norm. If the hero was always heric, we'd get bored very quickly.

In comedy writing, this is misdirection, sending the audience along one train of thought then derailing (pardon the pun) that to end up somewhere entirely different.

In conversation, what is being said will also be considered in the context of who is saying it. When I was in New York, my fellow housemate, Freddie Fresh, was an African American who loved the 'N' word. As far as he was concerned, he was the black variety, I was the white variety and everyone was some kind of variety. Pioneering stand-up, Richard Pryor, had an epiphany while visiting Africa and never used the word again. Whereas, outspoken libertarian stand-up, George Carlin, said that the context itself was the issue rather than the word.

In the context of this blog post, you'll have to make up your own minds.

Should some acquaintance be forgot?

2012-01-01T19:47:00.010Z

Like the two-headed god, Janus, who looks to the past and the future, I like to use the new year to both review what has been and prepare for what will be.

Here are some ideas for things - and people - to set aside in the coming year

1. Email. By which I mean: If you're not expecting something important, do now or simply fantastic (and youtube links for dogs who ride skateboards don't count) then turn off your email. Write without distraction. Read without distraction. FOCUS without distraction.

2. Unsubscribe. Are you really reading all those email newsletters you signed up for? Really? Or do you find that you're simply making folders for them to read 'one day'. If the idea of setting aside a precious hour to go through them at your leisure seems like a terrible waste of time, the chances are that it's time to wave bye-bye. Unsubscribing is liberating.*

3. The absence of a clock. I know, you want to be free to write and express yourself and do the best work you can without the constraint of time. But boundaries and deadlines are good things. Honest. They focus the mind, help you develop discipline and enable you to plan ahead.

4. Timestealers. You know those people - they mean well, probably, but they think writing is 'just a hobby', or worse, that it's 'not a proper job'. Keep set hours for your writing, draw a line in the sand and respect your craft.

Things to look forward to this year

1. The Preditors & Editors Readers' poll, where my thriller short story ebook, The Silent Hills, is up for nomination: http://www.critters.org/predpoll/shortstory.shtml

Here's the publisher page: http://tinyurl.com/6bro36q

2. I'm starting a new novel.

3. Did I mention that I'm starting a new novel? Well, I am.

Things I never knew until very recently

1. Out at Boskenna, lots of daffodils are already out.

2. The Wolf was right - there is an alternative opening scene to Lethal Weapon 1.

3. It's time to start writing a new novel.

* The jury is still out on the magazine that I've emailed FOUR times to ask them to unsubscribe me from their list. You know who you are...

Twas a night before Christmas...

2011-12-24T20:28:00.002Z

...and there in the pub, not a creature stirred...well, only to the bar and back, and the occasional trip to the gents.

I must have been around 18 and thrilled to bits to be in a pub where the barman didn't immediately want to throw me out. It turned out that he quite fancied me, but that's neither here nor there as far as this story is concerned.

He also offered me the only gig that our band, Bad Timing, ever received. Believe me, we were terrible - I still have a rehearsal tape somewhere to prove it. But I digress...

So, we arrived at the pub at 1.30 in the afternoon. There was me, a friend of mine from my schooldays, his stepdad and Jock - his stepdad's work colleague. Jock's the only one with a name in this tale as he features heavily in what transpired.

Jock, from Glasgow, had been drinking heavily. When he wasn't lecturing us whippersnappers about how, right now, this was 'the only man you'll ever be', or eating copious quantities of crisps, Jock was slowly but surely sinking into an alcoholic haze. I, meanwhile, over the seven hours that we spent in that pub, actually sobered up. It wasn't difficult as two southern comforts were (and are) about my limit.

So we left the pub, in Hackney ( I remember it as The Favouite, but the internet can find no trace), and moved on to another pub in Hackney Wick, where it all went a little pear-shaped. You see, the barman of this other pub was Billy the Boil, from Aberdeen. And clearly, somewhere down the line, there'd been bad blood between Glasgow Jock and Aberdeen Billy.

We didn't know about the bad blood at the time, but it soon became pretty obvious when Jock started muttering about how he was going to take Billy the Boils' boil right off his face. Before you could shout 'chill out' (of course, we didn't have the term in the eighties), Jock had smashed a pint glass on the table and leapt at the bar to have a go at Billy. You've never seen so many pissed people move so quickly.

By now it's pandemonium; Billy has somehow repelled Jock and knocked him back - probably with a fist. Down Jock goes like a sack of spuds and people have pinned him to the ground. Meantime, Jock is screaming "Don't let him cut me, don't let him cut me," at the top of his voice, while me and my friend stare at the scene in amazement and horror.

Jock, bleeding from the broken glass that he's holding, is bundled out the pub with us and told not to come back. No one calls the police, naturally - that's not how these things are done. We get in the car - I think the stepdad has stuck to soft drinks - and drive off into the night as Jock regales us with his favourite fights and why Billy the Boil is his sworn enemy. But, as none of us speak drunken Glaswegian, most of the subtleties are lost on us.

I felt as if we'd passed some kind of multiple initiation of manhood. A lock-in in a pub, drinking with older men, the offer of a gig for the band, witnessing a pub fight (after a fashion) and making it out unscathed.

I never saw Jock again although my friend's dad told us other stories about Jock's flick-hatchet (which he unfortunately demonstrated while inside his new car), Jock's new Mercedes and, by way of explanation, Jock's brief and disastrous sideline as a drug dealer.

I give you the ghost of Christmas past!

The Geneva Connection by Martin Bodenham

2011-12-22T09:47:00.017Z

Today I'm joined (virtually - use your imagination) by another Musa author, Martin Bodenham. He has kindly consented for me to put him under the spotlight and fire questions at him from across the desk. Let us begin...

What is your book, The Geneva Connection, about?

It is a financial crime thriller, set in the UK, US, Mexico and Switzerland. The story is about John Kent, a massively successful private equity player, and what happens when his unbridled ambition collides with the world's most powerful and most brutal drug cartel.

Kent thought he had it all. The phenomenal success of his private equity firm has propelled him into the world’s wealthy super-league. Self-made and from a poor background, he’s living his dream. Then he discovers his financial backers are a front for the world’s largest organized crime group, the Mexican Caruana drug cartel. It is run by Felix Safuentes, also known as “Jivaro” after the South American tribe famous for decapitating its enemies. Kent’s nightmare hasn’t even started...

What was the inspiration for the book?

As a private equity investor, I witnessed a number of financial institutions running into liquidity problems during the credit crisis. That gave me the idea to write a novel about a private equity firm losing the support of its main investor due to the financial crisis and how it is desperate to find a replacement without asking too many questions.

When did you decide to take up writing?

I have wanted to write novels for many years, but the pressure of working full-time in investment fund management meant I did not have the time. Recently, I have wound down a little from running my private equity firm in order to focus on a few other things in life.

What does the writing process look like for you?

I treat as a job. I am lucky in that I have an out-building, which I have converted into an office. The days I devote to writing see me at my desk at seven in the morning. I finish around six in the evening. Whenever I have tried to do something, I have always made every effort to be the best I can be at it.

What is the most challenging part of the writing process for you?

There are always calls on my time and, if I let them, they will eat into my writing space. I mute my telephone and switch off email so I don’t become distracted. If the front doorbell rings, I don’t answer it. Treating it as work makes a big difference.

How did you find Musa Publishing?

A published author contact of mine mentioned Musa as a new publishing house run by industry professionals. They sounded like my kind of people. They were the first US publisher I approached, and they signed me up in days.

Why did you decide to go with an ebook publisher instead of a traditional print publisher?

I have always been an early adopter of new technology and I have used it throughout my investment management career to increase productivity. The days of print publishing for fiction are numbered, in my view. If it didn’t already exist today, would we choose to invent it when digital technology is available? I think not.

Can you tell us a bit about how you prepared a submission package for your novel?

I’m based in the UK so I followed the usual UK format: One page covering letter, two page synopsis and the first three chapters—one, two, three.

Having said that, I found it difficult to reduce my story down to its basic elements. I treated it like all the business plans I have received over the years as a private equity investor. The two page executive summary is massively important. It determines whether or not an investor wants to read the full plan. I figured publishers were like investors, which they are in many ways. They have to decide which few stories they will back. Like investing, knowing the ones to walk away from is as important as choosing the winners.

What piece of advice do you think is most important for aspiring writers to remember?

Think of it as a business if you want to have your work published. Then treat the writing as a job and properly devote your time to it. Treat the editing process as a great way to improve your product, and not as an attack on you. Finally, recognize that publishers are business people, so ask yourself why they should invest their scarce resources behind your work. The rest will follow.

What do you see as the biggest obstacle for emerging writers?

I think the greatest challenge for new writers is trying to stand out in a crowded market and in a digital age in which anyone can broadcast a message at very little cost. Readers and consumers are bombarded with messages, and there are very few quality filters on which they can rely.

Which authors or individual books have inspired you in your writing?

The authors whose work I really enjoy are John Grisham, Michael Connelly and James Patterson. I love their fast pace, multiple settings and attention to detail.

Do you think it's important to have a character's morality defined early on in a book?

I think it is important to establish early on the main character traits of the protagonist, so that a reader can decide whether to support them or not. It doesn't matter to me whether or not the protagonist is likeable. I just want the reader to have a strong emotional bias for or against him and, therefore, have an interest in what happens.

Have you written any short fiction?

No. Once I start a novel, I find I have too much to say!

Do you have a view on the recent criticism of HMRC's alleged cosiness to some larger companies when they're negotiating a UK tax bill?

The tax affairs of large companies can be very complex. Consequently, there can be many grey areas and uncertainties as to the right interpretation of the tax regulations relating to their affairs. That said, I see very little flexibility or understanding offered to businesses and individual taxpayers so I don't understand why HMRC needs to adopt a warm and cuddly approach to large companies. There should be one consistent approach applying to all.

What are you working on next?

Another financial thriller involving a Boston based private equity firm and US government corruption.

You Put Your Whole Self In...

2011-12-20T15:24:00.003Z

You know that feeling, when you've just finished reading a book and the characters are still rattling around your head? Or the plot holes are making swiss cheese of your afterglow? Or even that you're desperate to re-immerse yourself in the world of the characters you've just spent time with?

Well, imagine all of that and add in a dollop of nervous anticipation. Cue drum roll... I've just completed the second draft of Scars & Stripes - my transatlantic comic tragedy about a year in the US, in the late eighties. It's been a bit of a revelation, coming as it does from the adulterated wellspring of my experience and my imagination combined. The composite characters are all on stage now and the key scenes set in cement. (But I still have my chisel at the ready, just in case.)

What comes next, of course, is a deeper edit. That and referring back to my notes about what I feel I can and can't say, even in fiction. If any brave soul out there wants to read any sample chapters - Sonia, you know who you are - I now have the set.

It's a less funny novel than I'd anticipated. In several places it's actually quite sad. I like that, though. Writing and reading the manuscript has put me back in touch with something useful - painful once and poignant now. But definitely useful. It feels as if I can breathe a little easier.

One of the interesting things about the process of writing, especially when one draws upon personal experience (and let's face it, all writers do that to some extent) is the individual approach that each writer takes.

I'm pleased to say that fellow novelist, Sinclair Macleod, author of The Reluctant Detective and The Good Girl will be joining me for a blog interview in the not too distant future. I hope to get a better appreciation for his method of writing, delve into his psyche and generally pick his brains for tips and insights.

Shadow of the Hunter

2011-12-14T16:33:00.010Z

I'm not really sure exactly how many words a picture paints, but our cat Porsha (she was a rescue cat and pre-named, so it isn't our fault) serves as a pretty good illustration. Today's topic is time. And, while it flies like the wind and goes after itself for Cyndi Lauper, it's also a huge consideration for a writer.

When you look closer at all the other activities necessary* to write, it's a wonder we get anything done at all. You need ideas, planning, research, blogging, LinkedIn, Tweeting, Facebooking...well, hang on a minute - that's just it. What is that social media really doing for you? Are you connecting with possible readers, existing readers, your peers or trying to build up your profile? Could it be that time given over to social media is actually time that could be better spent writing?

If you write to earn an income, writing is your product. Without something to sell, all the advertising in the world isn't worth diddlysquat. Our cat – who clearly knows how to position herself, even if she's still working on timing – understands that.

So speak when you have something to say or when you have a product or service to promote. Or maybe just for the fun of it, when your down time coincides with your urge to communicate. But don't mistake all that hullabaloo for actual writing.

There are only so many hours in the day, so get your priorities right!

* May contain irony.

Smart writers do it this way

2011-12-11T16:40:00.009Z

Not so long ago, I was chatting away with fellow writer Terrie Leigh-Relf about our writing (there were probably other topics in there too) and the inevitable relfection on the year that's passed.

We've planned to each go away (i.e. offline) and come back with our writing goals for 2012. I know, the very mention of the 'g' word tends to make people – and writers especially – I think you can see where this is going...

Goals, back in corporate land, were things you could control. And to make life easier*, especially when said goals helped determine your pay or bonus at the end of the year, they needed to be SMART goals.

Sing it with me, people:

Specific define what it is.

Measurable – how you can tell when you've completed it?

Achievable – is it within your control make this happen?

Realistic – do you personally have the control and the resources to do this?

Time-bound – when will it be done by?

Here are some goals that aren't SMART, even if they do appear to be desirable:

- Get my novel placed with an agent next year.

- Get my novel placed with a publisher next year (it's okay, I'm flexible - it doesn't have to be the same novel).

And here are some SMART goals:

- Write 2000 words per day. (Or, like Rachel Aaron, exceed that five-fold.)

- Spend three hours on my synopsis.

- Do a full edit of my manuscript by the end of March 2012.

- Identify three agents and three publishers to submit to.

- Prioritise my submissions.

- Contact the agent / publisher at the top of my list.

- Submit material from my novel.

Now, I will be the first to admit that SMART goals don't sound nearly as sexy or heroic. But they are...achievable. You're not reliant on anyone else to make it happen. You hold all the cards. Which means it's no one else's reponsibility but yours, if nothing happens (2012 end of the world scenarios notwithstanding).

My mantra of the moment is that we write, we edit, we decide who to submit to and then we submit. We need to do them all well because once our submissions leave us, it's out of our hands.

What are your SMART creative goals for 2012?

* May contain traces of irony.

Come on in out of the cold

2011-12-07T10:18:00.014Z

Hello there,

If you've just joined me from my guest blog over at Bubble Cow:

http://www.bubblecow.net/the-secret-of-earning-money-from-your-writing

And if you haven't, why not hop over there and then make your way back. I'll wait...hello again!

One of the things that impresses and surprises me is how willing other writing professionals are to share resources. Whether it be white papers, links, freelance writing websites or other useful reference material, there is a genuine sense of community out there. Yes, we are all in competition to the extent that we're all in business. But there is also the recognition that, as a profession, it's in everyone's interests to promote the highest standards of business practice.

So this particular post is a bit of a sharing exercise. In no particular order, these are some of the places that I visit regularly and the people who know what they're talking about:

Gary Smailes - www.bubblecow.net and www.bubblecow.co.uk

Cathy Presland - www.cathypresland.com

Julian Summerhayes - www.juliansummerhayes.com

Brian Clark and Jon Morrow - www.copyblogger.com

David Parrish - www.creative-enterprise-network.com

Sean Platt - http://ghostwriterdad.com/

Mary Jaksch - http://writetodone.com

www.journalism.co.uk

For those of you who don't yet know me, I'm a freelance writer also produce fiction and comedy material. If you head over to www.professional-writer.co.uk, you'll see the range of writing and editing services I offer, as well as samples and testimonials. You can also email me direct on earthlight (at) btinternet.com and follow me on Twitter @DerekWriteLines

I look forward to hearing from you.

An Artful Business

2011-11-30T18:10:00.006Z

Creativity and business can sometimes seem like opposing forces, but that doesn't have to be the case. I recently chatted with New York Real Estate broker, Lee Anderson, who talked me through his experience of that sweet spot where creative endeavour and thriving business become one.

Q1. So, Lee, you combine a successful business with an active interest in the arts. Tell us a little about your company and how your creativity influences the way that you do business.

A1. I work for a real estate company called New York Living Solutions, located in downtown Manhattan – in the financial district, actually. It's really surprising how much creativity this job takes. And on lots of levels, too. For instance, there is a certain amount of artistic talent necessary to design real estate ads, which I do myself. I've always loved to paint and draw, so that comes in handy. I also write my own ads, which is how I finally found a way for that English degree to pay off. Plus, there's the creative aspect of helping people envisage how some empty apartment could be converted into a dream palace with the right design touch. I don't think I could stay interested in any job if it didn't involve creativity to a large extent.

Q2. Do you see opportunities in the creative world being applicable to businesses like yours? I see many authors now offering free ebooks and advice papers, or using promo videos on Youtube as book trailers. Have you considered anything like that to set your business apart?

I'm actually keeping a video blog sponsored by the New York Department of Cultural Affairs, called "Alphabet Pony," which I've linked with my business websites. Some of the videos that I post on Alphabet Pony can get pretty artsy and "out there," so some people have told me that I'm being too risky. They ask me how posting stuff that's crazy or weird can help my business image. Personally, I just think it's important to stand out and to offer people ideas that challenge and inspire. I've tried the straight promo idea and it's just not me. Too boring. Besides, that's one of the things that I love about the real estate biz: you can be yourself. People appreciate that, no matter how quirky you are. In my experience, they do, anyway. Helps them remember you too. I worked for years and years at jobs in which I had to be someone else – some stuffed dork in a suit – and I hated it.

Q3. What was it that first drew you to Real Estate as a career choice?

I worked for many, many years in the hotel business, which I'm extremely grateful to. I had some unforgettable experiences. Definitely met some people that I never thought in a million years that I would get to meet. But there came a point where I got tired with working late nights, working weekends, working holidays...there's a profound drawback in working for a business that never closes. I had some former coworker friends who had moved on to try real estate, and the reviews were good. I think it's most people's ultimate hope, right? To be your own boss and to have your own business? When I worked as a journalist, there was a part of me that always felt as if I was spotlighting people who were having a huge, beneficial impact on their environment, and on their city. I kept thinking, wouldn't it be more challenging and fun to have the same impact myself, rather than just standing on the sidelines and writing about it? Real estate is a way of beneficially shaping the physical world by using my talents, including the creative ones. Plus, after getting into a big-time verbal tussle with a lawyer and actually showing him that he was wrong, I was hooked.

Q4. Are there any creative techniques or books that you refer back to?

"The Real Estate Agent's Guide to FSBOs" by John Maloof and "The Power of Myth" by Joseph Campbell. I think it's important to balance the spiritual with business as much as possible, even in my choice of reading material. The only creative technique that I consistently use is to stand out as much as possible, using pictures that no one else has with graphics that are eye-catching enough to entice clients into calling me. I also use testimonials from clients that I've closed, who were more than happy with the service that I gave them.

Q5. Although I'm very tempted to ask you how you might see Campbell's "Hero's Journey" translating into good business practice, let's flip things a little. We've already talked about how a creative approach can be applied to business, so which lessons from the business world – and your own working experience – can be applied to creativity?

Just be disciplined and stay focused. It's all right to let your imagination go crazy, but there still has to be some structure applied to it at some point. Some way of measuring what you want to achieve and how you'll know when you've got there. Plus some quality control of course.

Q6. So, in your own creativity, outside of work, do you set deadlines and goals? And if that's the case, how do you define those parameters?

I believe you HAVE to set a deadline and a goal. Otherwise, how do you get started or know when to finish? Everyone needs a direction and a finish line. Mainly, my own parameters are time-based. I have to post on "Alphabet Pony" daily. I have to generate leads daily. I have to post ads in the New York Times twice a week. Objectives like that. Deadlines and goals drive everything for me.

Q7. Since we've talked about business and creativity and the arts, as a final question, what artwork (of any form) do you own or wish you owned?

My entire apartment is decorated with orginal works of art. Nothing by anybody famous – just friends, mostly. There are also a few pieces that I bought from artists off the street in Soho and Union Square. Come to think of it, I can't imagine my home without them. As far as pieces I would love to own, it'd be nice to have "Starry Night." I know that's an outlandish idea, but you can always hope, right?

Lee's bio

A native Floridian, Lee came to New York in 2000. He quickly became an exemplary agent in New York City’s residential real estate market, developing a significant following throughout Manhattan. During his career, he has built strong relationships with several prominent clients and leasing companies. Lee is best known for his ability to comprehensively grasp a client's needs and to negotiate difficult deals. A major advocate for the New York art and literature scene, Lee hosts a monthly reading series in the east village. He also serves as editor-in-chief for Le Chat Noir, a New York artists and writers collective. He maintains a blog for the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, and when possible, helps with such charities as "Behind the Book," "Children International," and other non-profit organizations. He is an active member of the Real Estate Board of New York.

Links

www.alphabet-pony.com

www.leesfidirentals.blogspot.com

Just for fun...kinda...

2011-11-29T11:12:00.002Z

You know it's not the ideal freelancing job when the ad mentions:

1. Wording.

2. Wanting a quality writter.

3. We have a small budget, so please bare (sic) that in mind.

4. We're a luxury magazine, seeking writers looking for exposure.

5. Payment in warm fuzzies.

6. Willing to split proceeds of word-beating novel once published.

7. Must be willing to dress up in costume.

8. A great way to lern (sic) your craft and rise (sic) your profile.

A report in every storm

2011-11-24T11:42:00.007Z

When your pipes leak, you get in a plumber. Need some handmade cupboards built? A carpenter's your man or woman, guvnor.

And if that manuscript of yours (or mine) isn't quite cutting the mustard, where all the feedback is generally encouraging, but there's still no cigar, who you gonna call? A manuscript assessment service, that's who.

A good report will not only highlight weaknesses and inconsistencies, it will also tell you what you're doing right. Objective feedback can put your work under a microscope, which is both enlightening and disconcerting. Best of all, you have consider the feedback before you without the opportunity to argue your case and play 20 justifications. (No, my character has to play with a yo-yo at crime scenes because it's a metaphor for how she keeps an investigation going.)

Reports do not always make comfortable reading – I've had three, over the years, for different books. Each taught me something about my writing and something about myself. Those same comments that had me coughing derisively (try it – it's a real skill) later received nods of approval when I sat down again to review the evidence.

Summary feedback will focus on technique, characterisation, plotting, pace, description and dialogue. Which is a lot to fit into one report. Illustrative examples will help drive the points home. And then there's the manuscript mark-up. The right comments, perfectly placed, can act as a pivot point to lever your work over a hurdle. Those eureka moments really can make all the difference.

Although it can seem expensive – unless you're fortunate enough to receive a bursary – it's also an investment in your craft. And it may be your first opportunity to get feedback from a professional with experience in the industry. (Incidentally, always ask for the organisation's background and track record before you make any decision.)

An assessment of your manuscript might shatter your dreams and leave you running screaming to the hills. Or, duly acted upon, it just might be the difference between 'no thank you' and 'yes please'.

An unexpected pleasure

2011-11-16T20:38:00.004Z

The business of writing is very often a set of knowns combined with a small number of processes.

You know what you're pitching for, you know your capabilities, you know your aspirations and you know the payment you can look forward to if:

a) you're hired for the gig

b) you deliver the goods

Often the surprises fall into one of very few categories:

1) changes to the requirements

2) changes to the payment agreement

Now, every month or so I take on some gratis work. Generally, but not exclusively, the recipient is a non-profit of some kind. Other times, it's a start-up that is just getting up a head of steam. In all cases, I've done it because the project appeals to me and because I believe that I can make a difference.

There are also benefits to me of course, in that:

- I get to try new areas of work that I might never have encountered before.

- I to test my skills and to pick up key learning.

- I end up with valuable feedback and often a testimonial.

But it's not about the money though. And, while I'm very keen on the idea of running a business that's first and foremost about values and principles, I will admit to having a modicum of scepticism about how to do that and still be sufficiently profitable.

This week, however, life threw me a welcome curve-ball. I received a payment and thanks for some gratis work I did recently. And I have to say, it's making me think that maybe it IS possible to do business another way.

Writer as entrepreneur

2011-11-12T17:10:00.006Z

Apparently, the term entrepreneur was apparently first used by the French economist Jean-Baptiste Say. Where once this was synonymous with a contractor, who acted as the third part of the holy business with capital and labour, now it means much, much more. The entrepreneur controls - either directly or indirectly - the means of production, the branding, the marketing, the sales and the aftercare. That sounds an awful lot like a writer to me.

Lately, I have been discussing the realities of writing commercially with Wolf, over at Wolf Photography and my transatlantic compadre over at A Word with You Press, writer and editor-in-chief Thorn Sully. When running a creative business, it quickly becomes apparent that not only do you need to wear several hats, you also need several states of mind (preferably one per hat at any given time).

If, as in my case, the type of writing you do varies from client to client, that potentially multiplies the headwear during the production stage. I currently produce the following: features, copywriting, web content, speeches, sketches, gags, monologues, slogans for badges and greetings cards, short fiction and of course those beloved novels of mine.

The more I research internet and social media marketing models (and believe me, I've been doing a lot of research recently), the more I realise it can be summed up in one sentence: You find a way that works for you. Yes, there are approaches that appear to work for some individuals under certain circumstances - for example, an ebook author on Twitter announced his 50,000th sale last week, which is brilliant. But I'm also aware of a maxim in relation to business models: You only sing when you're winning.

Which is a roundabout way of saying I've decided to park some projects in order to focus on what, on the good ship corporate, we used to call The Lead to Cash. And if Sarah's reading this, please forgive me pressing a bruise! However creative we may be, business decisions are always rooted in pragmatism and often open to interpretation - here's a snippet on Radio 4 about Innocent and the investment from Coca Cola, as a case in point.

My thanks to those of you who purchased a copy of my short fiction ebook The Silent Hills.

If you're still thinking about it, here are two reviews to help make up your mind from

Crystal Trent Reviews and writer Rosen Trevithick, who I interviewed recently about her own novel, Straight Out of University. And here's an interview with my lead character, Peter Marlow, on the Musa Publishing blog.

Happy reading and happy writing!

Straight Out of University

2011-11-09T09:53:00.005Z

It's my great pleasure to welcome a fellow West Country writer, Rosen Trevithick, to my blog. Here, amid a busy schedule for her recently published book, Straight Out of University, I turned the spotlight on her to learn more about her novel, food combining and fly paper.

Can you tell us about your book and the reasons why you wrote it?

Straight Out of University is a contemporary, comedy-romance that explores the culture shock of leaving university and trying to make it in the real world. That's something I've been through myself and I found it riddled with humour, so I let it inspire a book.

It also tells the story of a bisexual woman who is neither confused nor promiscuous, which I felt was long overdue.*

What would you say to your central character?

I'd tell Sophie Sweet that Maltesers and malt vinegar are not compatible ingredients, and probably lend her some of my recipes.

What are your aspirations as a writer?

Mostly, I want to entertain people. If I can make people think about a situation is a new way, then that's a bonus. Also, I'd like my writing to lead to the acquisition of a house on a cliff, with a flower garden and a windy path down to the beach.

Are you a meticulous plotter or a seat-of-the-pants writer?

It depend what I'm writing. I do enjoy making fiction up as I go, but that can leave me snookered without an ending, so I don't risk that strategy for large projects like a novel. Straight Out of University was planned carefully in advance.

Name three books - of any genre - that really inspired you, and why.

Matilda by Roald Dahl, One Day by David Nicholls and A Hole on the World by Sophie Robbins. Regarding the latter, I think it's incredible that an eighteen year old has already written and self-published a novel, let alone a good one.

Name an author you'd like to be trapped in a lift with, and tell us why.

Whichever author is also skilled as a lift repair technician. There's bound to be an indie author out there who knows how to fix a lift. There might even be an eBook on that very subject - indie books are getting pretty diverse.

What have you learned about yourself through the process of writing your book?

If you leave your housework for six weeks, nobody dies, but you do need to invest in some fly paper.

Where can we buy Straight Out of University?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Straight-Out-of-University-ebook/dp/B004XR0D12/

*You implied, at the beginning of this interview, that your novel's take on bisexual women was long overdue - can you elaborate?

There are four predominant bisexual women in fiction:
- The soulless baddie who will seduce everything and everybody in order to spin her evil web.
- The selfish, promiscuous slut who can't decide between men and women, so does both.
- The lesbian in denial.
- The straight woman who dabbles in lesbian behaviour in order to improve TV ratings.
Sophie Sweet is none of those. She's caring, committed, self-aware (after the first couple of chapters) and genuine - like a real woman.

You can also see a trailer for Rosen's book here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47VoHXM-4VY

Eight types of client to avoid

2011-11-02T18:21:00.004Z

A little list to be going on with.

Eight types of client to avoid

1. The ones who don't know what they want and say you'll work it out together as you go along.

2. The ones who need three brand new samples on very specific subjects.

3. The ones who reply, "Rights? What rights?"

4. The ones who, after three emails, still haven't specified the payment on offer.

5. The ones who 'just have a feeling' that your copy needs a little more rewriting, but they can't tell you what changes they're looking for.

6. The ones who believe that you need to give them free copy to use as a way of proving yourself.

7. The ones who change their minds halfway through the assignment and then say, "So that work you did before doesn't count, right?"

8. The ones who suffer a serious bout of amnesia, especially when it comes to pay day.

In which our hero loses himself to find himself.

2011-10-31T17:30:00.005Z

The 31st of October is said to be the end of the old Celtic year. I treat it that way and always make some time, on the day, to think about those who have recently passed on or who are long since gone. It's contemplative, but not necessarily solemn.

I also do the same with my writing, making a special effort to review my trusty spreadsheet and to decide whether it's really worth keeping a magazine editor in the active section if she hasn't replied for six months.

Sometimes writers can be so busy trying to fit the niche of a client that we start to forget who we are. And while I'm mindful of the wisdom, 'If you only play to your strengths, they're the only ones you'll ever have,' I'm also acutely aware of the need to choose your projects wisely.

Here then are some of my recent endeavours.

Small Books

Discussions have been held about The Wanderer, resulting in a new title and some planned changes to the tex, with the idea of getting it into ebook form by Christmas. The Silent Hills was published by Musa Publishing as an ebook earlier this month and I'm able to check sales and royalties online. Beyond the Horizon, containing one of my short stories, was published by Bamboccioni Books in the summer, so I look forward to seeing how we are faring. And I'm still seeking a publisher for my satirically slim volume, Man Up (How to Be a Modern man through the Wisdom of Ignorance).

Bigger Books

Standpoint and Covenant are in circulation with agents / publishers. I had a recent rejection from an agent, which gave me a good insight into the state of the industry and what might be required to bring one of the novels up to scratch. The agent recommended an independent publisher to get my work on a bookshelf. Meantime, Scars & Stripes is still a work-in-progress and I'm about a third of the way in.

The lost part

I've been living on Twitter @DerekWriteLines and visiting FB as one would an aunt who lives a long distance. It's a bit of a pain, but once you get there, you're glad you bothered even if you do look forward to leaving. I've also read copiously about the secrets of social media, attended two presentation events and fended off attempts to sell me a high-grade website for my business. In short, I've been swimming in a sea of information and coming up with...well, not much really. I understand that there are some who can convert visitors to sales and also that, for a small consideration, I can buy blocks of 1000 Tweet followers or Facebook friends. But seriously, what is the goal? I first made the decision to float free from the good ship corporate because of a burning desire to see my work in print and to live a different sort of lifestyle. That's what mattered and matters still. Sometimes, when I'm up to my ass in alligators, it's easy to forget that.

The found part

I know what I'm not. I'm not a writer of material that lends itself to syndication. The agency that I approached advised me that, "The most exclusive interviews possible with famous actors, musicians and 'celebrities' is what sells best." Now where do I put Louis Walsh's phone number...

I'm also not a passionate writer of sales copy. True, it pays bills and it's just as valid as any other form of writing, but it's just not for me.

I did discover, quite by accident, that I enjoy a research brief - as long as the remit is well-defined.

Bottom line? Life is too short to waste your time pretending to be someone else. Unless you're Ronnie Ancona or Rory Bremner.

If good writing is a gift...

2011-10-26T18:30:00.008+01:00

One of the delights of being a writer is feeling part of a creative community. Who better to understand the highs and lows than a fellow writer, especially someone who has earned a living through their craft for some time?

And with Christmas fast approaching (it's only weeks away now, trust me), how about tapping into that level of experience and expertise as the perfect gift for the writer in your life?

So You Want To Be A Freelance Writer One Day Writing Workshop

with bestselling author, journalist and features writer, Deborah Durbin

- Learn how to make the perfect pitch

- Find out who needs freelance writers

- Where to get ideas from

- How to make money from freelance writing

- Plus much more

Saturday 18th February 2012 - 10am - 3pm

The Bristol Folk House, Park Street, Bristol

£49.00 plus free signed copy of Deborah's bestselling book, So You Want To Be a Freelance Writer.

Only 24 places available, so book early. An ideal Christmas present!

Phone Deborah on 01934 528481

or Email Deborah.durbin@yahoo.com

Web: www.deborahdurbin.com

Tweet to woo

2011-10-22T18:28:00.004+01:00

Tweet to woo

I recently attended an excellent social media presentation by Julian Summerhayes that made me think about Twitter in a new completely new way. Ironically, it wasn't something that Julian said (although, trust me, he said a lot of good stuff); it was a throwaway remark by one of the audience.

Julian talked about new models for doing business and creating a customer base (my words, not his), and about how potential clients were more interested in how you could solve their problems than in who you thought you were.

Then someone at a nearby table said that he used software that identified any Tweet with a particular keyword, where the Tweeter was based within a 20-mile radius of the commenter's office. Personally, I thought that was genius – both relevant and local. He also added that, by answering questions and engaging with his potential market over Twitter, he had won new business. This sounded like an approach anyone that any business could use.

And also explained why, within five minutes of me replying flippantly to someone's fish joke (by trying to top it with a better fish joke), I had a follow request from an angling equipment company. It also explained the follow request, later that day, from a sex site – and made me think more carefully about the other jokes I tweet or reply to.

Twitter is a great way to engage with an audience or readership. The brevity of 140 characters requires you to think carefully about what you want to say and who you want to achieve. And, perhaps most importantly, why you want to say anything at all.

A mixed harvest

2011-10-19T15:31:00.006+01:00

Recently I heard that the season of autumn was, up until around the 16th century, originally simply called harvest. It's a time of gathering in and taking stick. I wrote a piece last year, about the significance of Halloween this month, and you can find it here.

So, the sad news is the demise of one of our chickens, Pepperami, to egg peritonitis. What started out as a strange waddle turned out not to be to be a case of egg-bound hen, but instead something much more insidious. The vet gave her an x-ray (if you really must: eggs-ray) and made the terminal diagnosis.

It's strange to lose a chicken. Although not as personable as a dog or cat, they nonetheless have their own personality traits. And losing Pepperami left us with a dilemma - do we get one or more point-of-lay chickens (which then creates an age overlap, given that the surviving Sweet Pea is two and a half) or rehouse Sweepers and take a break from poultry. We opted for the latter, which was, in its way, similarly difficult. Sweet Pea is now living out her days in an animal sanctuary, with a gaggle of hens and two cockerels. We, meanwhile, are taking a break from poultry, but will probably start again with two point-of-lay birds next year or the one after that.

Having hens took me into new writing territory and 'write about what you know' took on an added dimension. I can't imagine how else I would have connected with Dollar Stretcher, Your Chickens and Country Smallholding magazines.

Elsewhere on the micro-farm, the Jerusalem (f)artichokes have come up trumps (I know, but it was too good to pass up). And with leeks still to come and enough herbs to jazz up the winter, we're pretty pleased with the ongoing efforts to become greener than my face on the Isles of Scilly ferry that time.

There are as many metaphors for the writing process as there are writers, but gardening is a pretty good one. You prepare the ground, you select the seeds on the basis of what you want to produce and, be under no illusions, it can be bloody hard work. And sometimes, despite your best efforts, circumstances beyond your control prevent you from reaping the harvest that you feel you deserve.

Still, as long as you have fertile ground, there's always an opportunity to produce something in the future.

The Silent Hills has arrived!

2011-10-14T11:43:00.007+01:00

The Silent Hills (ISBN: 978-1-61937-015-9) is out today, brought to you by Musa Publishing.

It's a short fiction ebook about a man who finally finds a reason to stop running from his past, himself and the truth.

A story of responsibilities and consequences, The Silent Hills finds Peter Marlow ensnared in someone else's drama, where the only solution is a permanent one. But is he just being used? And can the ends ever justify the means?

You can read an excerpt here and also buy the ebook for $0.99 in any of the following formats: PDF, ePub, PRC and Mobi.

http://tinyurl.com/TheSilentHills

Please pass on this post and the link.

The Silent Hills is my first venture as a contracted author with Musa and I hope it will be the first of many.

A Conflict? Of interest.

2011-10-10T13:27:00.004+01:00

According to Barbara Streisand, people who need people are the luckiest people in the word. Mind you, she also said that love was soft as an easy chair.

As a freelance writer, I know that people – both clients and readers – are the lifeblood of the business. But...I also know that the occasional conflict is inevitable in all walks of life.

So, in the interests of putting an interesting filling in this particular truth sandwich, here are some cautionary tales.

1. The Name Game

When the Little Book of Cynics was published back in 2007, I tried everything I could to get some publicity. This included approach a writing magazine and producing a press release about the journey to publication for a first time co-author. The piece was duly printed with congratulations made to David Thompson. Needless to say, I hadn't been sent a proof copy ahead of publication, so the horse had already bolted, boarded a bus and been granted a new identity. Plus, as the magazine was monthly, it was felt there was no value in issuing a minor correction.

2. The Proof is in the Pudding

Long, long ago (judging by my email archive), I had a publisher lined up for my fantasy novel. As a small, independent, they naturally had a small but dedicated team. What they didn't have was time. After waiting a year for a proof edit, which I required before I was willing to sign a contract, said publisher managed a rush job and processed a 142,000 novel in two weeks. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I was unhappy with the end result. Due to this and other issues, we parted on friendly terms.

3. C'est la CV

I had a highly qualified client who wanted his CV tailored for each of the prestigious jobs he applied for. As our working relationship progressed, I developed stock phrases and paragraphs that could be applied or adapted as the need arose. There came a point where he wanted to apply for one particular position and, based on my knowledge of his CV and experience, I questioned whether he was a good fit for the position. As if that wasn't enough of a faux pas, he then challenged me on my use of content from one of his previous job application. I countered that my role was to give him the best application possible, using all the infornation to hand, and that the finished CV was the result of a number of iterations and not merely a quick fix. After further discussion, he paid for services rendered and decided to discontinue our working relationship. I spent a further hour crossreferencing the vacancy requirements with the CV I'd put together, to illustrate why I thought I'd provided a professional service and showing where those all-important chunks of content met the criteria.

4. The Name Game Again

But first, a true story...

When I was a kid, our mum used to call me David - a lot. He was my older brother and I've written and spoken about him elsewhere. Sometimes she'd catch herself part way through the name, realise I was the 'other one' and call me Da...rick. So, somewhere in the depths of my subconscious, there's probably a little sensitivity about my name. Over the years, I've been Del, Derry, Dehr (probably needs an American accent), Delboy (of course), Dilbert and D. They've all been fine.

Another true story...

A few days before my brother's funeral, I met the minister for the first time. His opening line to me was, "Ah, you must be David." To which, I replied, with all the subtlety of a lump hammer, "If you want David then you've left it a bit late." Fast-forward to the service and the padre turns to the coffin, during the committal and says, "And now we say our farewells to Derek..." I resisted the almost overwhelming urge to wave from the front row and call out, "Hello? I'm still here," out of a sense of protocol. After all, there were others present who might not have seen the joke.

Now, back to the matter in hand...

Recently, I wrote a voluntary feature for a magazine, about a writer friend of mine, who passed away earlier this year. His partner was generous enough to talk to me at an incredibly difficult time for her, and provided both personal details and a photograph for the feature.

I saw a draft version of the piece, but not the print version. So it was a tad disappointing, while I did see my name at the top of the magazine page, to find Dennis thanked at the bottom. I did not handle the matter well and remonstrated in no uncertain terms to the editor, who countered with equal bluntness. Although I think I still think it was an entirely unnecessary foul-up, I can't fault his response.

Conflict is a fact of life, but how we deal with it is a matter of character. In my experience as a writer, conflicts usually arise because of differing priorities. However big the to do' list, there can only be one number one.

The lessons to be learned the above are:

1. Always ask to see a print ready version of your work (with thanks to Villayat SnowMoonWolf Sunkmanitu) as part of your standard terms.

2. Remember that it's rarely personal.

3. Remember that you don't have to be best buddies with people in order to do business with them, but you do have to be professional.

4. Remember that the customer is always right – even when they're not!

And to help sing us out, here is an insightful quote that's attributed to Bill Cosby:

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

So, how do you handle work conflicts and how might you have handled any of the above situations?

Edit where Edit's Due

2011-10-05T17:39:00.004+01:00

I've been swapping the odd line with fellow Musa author Wendy Soliman about the joys - or otherwise - of editing. I'm pleased to say that after maybe the fourth draft, I remove the version number from the title and stick to 'edit' or 'edit A' as a naming convention. It's kinder that way and stops me from fretting.

Whether it's contemporary fiction such as Wendy's or thrillers like mine, every author, at some point, throws up their hands in despair and asks, 'When will it end?' I have to confess now that as a writers' meeting I once declared that I only edited to the point where I could get away with it.

The truth though is that it's only over when the agent or editor says so (whether it's indicated by their acceptance of your work or by an email with a smiley face). There are few literary crimes greater than disappointing your readers with a floppy plot, distant characters, lacklustre dialogue or shabby story. Hopefully they'll have invested their money to read your work and if not that then they have certainly invested their time.

With every edit, something more subtle is revealed, just as other material is removed. It's archaeology for manuscripts. And what you're left with, once you finally get there, is something that makes all the hours, all the different approaches and all the hair-pulling session worth it. At least, I hope that's the case!

I know, you're wondering about the image? It's a drain pipe and, as you can clearly see, it's above the water line. Consequently, although it looked fit for purpose to the eye, it doesn't do the job once the rain comes down. And just to reassure you, that's mud.

In praise of... Musa Publishing

2011-10-01T13:51:00.006+01:00

My short fiction work, The Silent Hills, is contracted to Musa Publishing and the whole process has been a revelation.

Within days, they'd sent me a contract, held a skype call to introduce me to the team, discussed cover ideas with me (and assigned an artist) and - be still my beating heart - gone through my text with a fine tooth comb and made comments and recommendations for changes.

Compare that to another, nameless publisher, who took 1 year, 3 months and 16 days just to email me a generic rejection. (Boo, hiss and so forth.)

Musa is a new and vibrant publisher, with a wide range of genres and authors - many of whom have been published elsewhere in print and electronically.

The Silent Hills comes out as an ebook on October 14th, for $0.99. If you have enjoyed reading these blog posts, why not treat yourself to one of my stories.

Here's a tiny url link http://tinyurl.com/6bro36q

In the meantime, here are the Musa team, in their own words:

Editorial Director - Celina Summers

Editorial Director Celina Summers has been involved in e-publishing as an author, editor, review coordinator, senior editor, and managing editor for over a decade. She studied theater and political science at college in Tennessee, including master class studies in playwriting with famed dramaturge Howard Stein. First published in high school and now the award-winning author of sixteen novellas and novels, she left her career in professional theatre to return to her first love, writing and publishing, in 2000. As the driving force behind Aurora Regency, she produced over forty historical novels in the year before coming to launch Musa Publishing.

Financial Director - Kerry Mand
Kerry Mand comes to Musa with eight years of business ownership/management. As the Office Manager/Owner for those companies, she was responsible for Accounts Receivable, Accounts Payable, and payroll for employees. She recently worked for another publisher as the office manager before coming to Musa Publishing. Kerry is thrilled to be part of Musa from the beginning and cannot wait to see where it takes us in the future!

Promotions Director - Elspeth McClanahan

Elspeth comes to Musa Publishing after working as Promotions Director for another publisher. Before entering the publishing world, she spent many years promoting and assisting in the promotion of the theatres she has worked for and the mothers groups she belongs to. Her promotional experience includes, but is not limited to, review coordinator, conference representative, conference speaker, contest judge, special guest speaker, “After the Show” host, and Promotions Director. As an author writing under a pseudonym, she has published two novels and one novella.

Art Director - Kelly Shorten

Kelly Shorten has over fifteen years of Web/Graphic Design experience under her belt. Besides what she does for Musa, she also works on independent contracts working with businesses for their promotional items. She has been designing covers and marketing books for authors for over three years. Kelly was the Art Director for a publishing company for over a year.

Director of Editorial Production - Coreen Montagna
She has a doctorate in Pharmacy, but is an artist at heart. Even while working on her degree from the University at Buffalo, she took as many art classes as she could on the side: ceramics, photography, art history. Cory has been a voracious reader since elementary school and was heartbroken when she discovered that there are people who never read books if it isn’t required for work or school. As Musa's Director of Editorial Production, Cory combines her love of art and words in a wonderfully unexpected way. Her prior experience includes freelance work as a graphic designer and typesetter, as well as working with another publishing house as their lead copy editor and book designer. At Musa, Cory is the Head Copy Editor and is responsible for the interior book layout and formatting as well as eBook production.

Out-twitted

2011-09-29T12:41:00.006+01:00

As Sofia over at Mother Road might say: Holy Crap!

Just when I was falling in love with Twitter, marvelling at its brevity, its nimble mini-urls and its ability to keep me entertained, I recently found that the cupboard was bare.

Well, not bare, just temporarily over-subscribed. And there was me thinking twitter only had eyes for me and all the people I follow.

It's second nature now to pop in and read what everyone has to say, see who's doing what and add my two penn'orth. Or, as the bumper book of internet wisdom would have me believe, building my profile.

Faced with an impenetrable screen - and believe me I did try - I had to fall back upon my wits and actually write something.

PS Call me a cynic, but the birds are flying in different directions and the strings aren't taut. I think we're looking at a moment in time, before several birds get very wet indeed and sink without trace.

Random script dialogue

2011-09-24T13:34:00.004+01:00

[Driver and passenger are driving on a bend. Car coming from opposite direction, crosses central line and almost causes an accident.]

Did you see the way that driver cut you up?

I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.

Are you kidding? He was over the centre line. If you weren’t watching the road he would have hit you.

Look, it’s just another soul having a bad day.

Know your trouble? You make too many excuses for people. You just don’t want to see that people are basically selfish and they’ll get away with whatever they can. And don’t give me all that 'benefit of the doubt' crap. Because when a car rams into you at high speed and you wind up in hospital, all your 'soul having a bad day' philosophy won’t mean crap.

Whereas judging someone for a mistake that any of us could have made is in some way beneficial? Do you feel better for it or do you, in fact, just feel more stressed, if that was possible?

I feel like my eyes are open, unlike that bloody driver. And you, my friend, you’re in denial about the very nature of humanity, a humanity that you claim to care so much about.

I do. I love humanity. It's just individual people who create problems.

An interesting paradox. So he wasn’t people?

Well yes of course he was. But I don’t think his intention was malicious. He was just careless.

Clueless, you mean!

Same difference.

So if I burgled your house and accidentally burned your house down because I was careless with a candle on my way out, that would be okay?

You’d burgle my house with a candle – what are you, a Victorian theme burglar?

It’s a metaphor.

You mean an allegory.

Jesus, psycho driver gets to almost run you off the road without comment and I get picked up on for my use of language. Where’s the consistency? Metaphor or allegory, there’s still a candle and your house has still burned down.

Am I inside?

Er, no. You’re visiting friends for the evening - I'm not a monster.

Okay so I’m not injured. Just seriously inconvenienced. But I still have my car, right?

Well, unless psycho driver met you on the way home when you heard the fire engines.

So I could sleep in my car for the night – at a push?

Be realistic. Your house has just burned down. How would you be able to sleep?

Well, my files are all backed up to a server and there’s nothing I can do for my property. What else am I going to do?

You could mourn, show a little emotion, maybe? Christ, your whole life has gone up in flames. And what didn’t has been stolen by a..a Victorian theme burglar.

But you weren’t hurt, were you?

No! What does it matter if I was hurt?

I’m just saying, no sense in both of us suffering. And besides, most of my things are insured; probably overinsured.

You know, this glass half-full approach can be really wearing.

It’s a choice, okay? And I choose to look for the best.

It’s just a subtle form of denial.

What would you prefer?

Some honesty.

Okay, I miss my stuff, life sucks and I hope the guy who burgled me gets rectal cancer - no offence.

None taken. That’s the spirit!

Happy now?

Almost…

Okay, and that driver was a total arsehole who should watch the road more carefully.

Now we’re there. Do you really mean it - any of it?

Not for a second.

Bastard!

Now, now! Don’t distract me; I need to watch the road.

So You Want to be a Freelance Writer?

2011-09-20T15:00:00.006+01:00

So there I was, having a little downtime and checking up on the blogs listed on my blog. I have often enjoyed Deborah Durbin's posts about the trials and tribulations (and joys, let's not forget those) of freelancing. But the blog was nowhere to be seen.

I hopped over to her website then pinged her and discovered that she is not only alive and well (anyone who knows my history will understand my trepidation there...), but has taken the plunge on Kindle.

So You Want to be a Freelance Writer is the distillation of her former blog and filled with gems to take you from A to B (Aspiration to Business).

Deborah has been a journalist, columnist and author for the last 14 years, and has written far afield both in the UK and the US. So, what are you waiting for?

We've Only Gone and Done it, Rodders!

2011-09-18T12:58:00.008+01:00

Yesterday's Writer Networking Event was a great success. Let's not beat around the bush: it was brilliant!

Imagine 45 writers in one space, the atmosphere thick with anticipation, creativity and a just a hint of competitiveness. Add to mix Cyprus Well Director, Tracey Guiry, who partnered with me to make it happen, plus author Sarah Duncan, and Dorothy Lumley from the Dorian Literary Agency. Simmer gently serve over the course of a day.

The event has been a long time coming, and without the input of Cyprus Well would never have got off the ground. I can say that categorically because I'd been flapping my arms around for at least a year before Cyprus Well came on board.

And what did we learn, on the day?

Sarah talked about her experience as an author and the realities of earning a living as a writer. She also led a pitching exercise. Dorothy talked about approaching an agent and some of the attendees had the opportunity to make a public pitch for their prized project. She also went through everyone's first page - all 45 of them - and added a few comments to think about.

However, for me, it was the personal touches that made a difference. Sarah and Dorothy made time for people, listening to them and offering advice and experience. Many developing writers have little access to those who have signed a contract and gone on to develop their craft commercially. And as for agents, most writers I know tend to feel that they are akin to unicorns - a lovely, mythical idea of something no one has ever seen.

There seemed to be a real appetite for an ongoing writing community, which we're hoping to provide through Cyprus Well's website. As for me, it proved that with the right people, the right location (and special thanks to Truro Community Library and the team for making us so welcome), the funding in place and some steely determination, great things are possible. Even in this economic climate!

Here's to the next project!

The End?

2011-09-14T13:50:00.006+01:00

As a writer and a reader, I'm fascinated with endings. So much so that I ponder the conclusion of a book long after I've returned it to the shelf or the charity shop.

Whether it's wondering and worrying about how Rebus fills his afternoons or if Dr Rhodes eventually took over the nursing home at Hindhead, my mental gymnastics may continue for days afterwards. That, to me, is the sign of a good book.

When it came to putting a framework together for Scars & Stripes (now editing P65 and counting, seeing as you asked), I was tempted to address that issue. Having considered an epilogue, along the lines of the ending of Animal House, I wondered about the 'where are they now' element. For a time, I even contemplated using the internet to get clues from the real life whereabouts of some of the people who influenced the composite characters. This, of course, would have been lazy writing and, given the divergence between reality and fiction, both wholly inappropriate and unsatisfying to the reader.

How much more magical is a figure like King Arthur, with his 'King Once and King to be' epitaph, rather than a simple RIP? When Dr Frankenstein's monster disappears without trace on the page, we know that he'll be taking up residence in the recesses of our minds.

I think that 'what happened next' curiosity is part of what drives the social media bow wave, which shows no sign of abating. It's tempting to type in a few names, press the button and peer into someone else's life (which they've thoughtfully posted online). But what is it we're looking for? Surely, we're better off relying on our own imagination?

Well I never!

2011-09-13T14:35:00.008+01:00

They say you learn something new every day. I'll spare you my diary entries and share ~~three~~ four things I learned in the last week.

1. Editing and proofreading are very different animals. Just because it waddles like a duck, floats like a duck and makes quacking sounds, don't assume it isn't a goose. I've recently been working on a client's book and, breaking new ground for me, converting her ms into an ebook (after the previous version became corrupted). I am indebted to Sofia Higginbotham, one of my blog buddies, who eats ALA, AMA and Chicago Style for breakfast. She was able to point out some of the finer points of difference between UK and US idioms (towards / toward, etc.) and explain why 'nasty' isn't a suitable word in family stories across the pond.

2. Sometimes, people and situations are just a failed experiment. So as long as no one has really been hurt, draw a line and move on. Like many writers, I also temp, here and there, so when I rang an agency that I'd signed with a year ago to ask if they planned on ever sending me any work (hit rate: nil; calls to me: nil), I was surprised to hear my 'handler' reply that perhaps she hadn't been as proactive with me as she could have been. And it turned out that the vacancy on the website was just 'an illustration' of the type of roles they handle. Although clearly, not for me, in the last 12 months.

3. Some publishers will tell you in print that they:

a) Are now pro simultaneous submissions.

b) Viewed your ms with interest, but decided they couldn't publish it with commercial success.

c) Recommend sending in a 200-word dust jacket blurb along with your sample chapters, but - and this is the crucial bit - without a synopsis and without giving away the ending of the book.

This just in...

4. Sometimes, you're waiting four months for a response from a publisher, only to discover – upon ringing them up – that they never received your manuscript in the first place. Thank you, Royal Mail.

Every piece of writing is an experiment, albeit one with a certain amount of emotional investment. But sometimes, it's both important and therapeutic to click the delete button and free up some hard drive space in your head. Who knows, perhaps elements of that piece will resurface in a different guise, maybe even a different genre? The most important thing is taking the decision to draw a line. Murdering your darlings needn't apply solely to fiction writing.

Losing Face and Making Space

2011-09-12T18:34:00.006+01:00

Sometimes it takes a big person to recognise when a relationship isn't working out. "It's not you - it's me," has become a cliche and a get out clause. But in this case, I have to say, "It's not me - it's YOU!" You crave my attention and you have so many finicky rules and attitudes that I only discover if I ask the right question. And frankly you're doing my head in.

It only less than two hours of frustration-induced migraine to know that Facebook isn't for me. Maybe I'm the wrong generation, maybe I haven't read the instructions thoroughly or really understood the benefits; maybe I'm just a miserable sod. Maybe I'm using 'maybe' just a little too much.

After Musa Publishing accepted my 5000 word short story The Silent Hills, they mentioned FB to its stable of authors as a great tool for promoting our work. I find LinkedIn really user friendly and I've recently fallen for the charms of Twitter (thanks in part to the tweets of Jimmy Carr and Crab Quotes), so why not Facebook. I mean, how hard can it be to befriend a few people and spread the word. Pretty hard, it turns out. Firstly, my business FB page only does 'likes' and secondly a personal account has miraculously appeared that tags my comments as me and not my business.

As Anne said to me today, after receiving a friend request: 'This person used to ignore me in a roomful of people, so why would I want to become an electronic friend of theirs?'

I understand that social networking taps into our deepest needs to belong and feel valued, whether we're intent on overtly selling a concept, product or service, or unconsciously advertising our needs and opinions. But time and purpose, once frittered away, can never be retrieved (okay, so it's a bit dramatic, but that's how some writers are).

The interesting thing was how I felt after I'd deactivated my account*. It was as if Sisyphus had been given a reprieve. I was freed from the mire of who to befriend, what to read and when the right time is for a gentleman to poke. Plus I can spend the time checking tweets, updating LinkedIn and blogging.

* I know, even deactivated FB pages can be defrosted.

The Big Question

2011-09-03T14:26:00.003+01:00

“Mummy, why doesn’t Uncle Malcolm ever stay to dinner?”

“Well darling, Malcolm is something called a vegetarian.”

“Is that a sort of religion?”

(Frowns.) “No dear, not exactly. Uncle Malcolm has certain beliefs about what he eats.”

“Like what?”

“Well… like not eating animals.”

“You mean tigers and lions and giraffes and elephants?

“No dear, no one eats those. I’m talking about cows and sheep and pigs and chickens.”

“I’ve got those in my farm set at home, haven’t I, mummy?”

“Yes darling. So that’s all cleared up then.”

(After a millisecond pause.) “But why doesn’t he want to eat them?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because they have legs.”

“So does Uncle Malcolm eat fishes then?”

“Erm, no dear, he doesn’t.”

“So is it because they have eyes then?”

“Perhaps that’s it; let’s talk about something else.”

“But mummy, didn’t you tell me that potatoes have eyes. Does Uncle Malcolm eat potatoes?”

(Heavy sigh.) “Yes he does. And potatoes do have eyes, but it’s not the same thing.”

“So what’s different about a potato’s eyes? Are they on the back of its head?”

“A potato doesn’t have a head.”

“Then where does it keep its eyes?”

(Heavier sigh.) “Eat up; your dinner will be getting cold.”

“So… about the potatoes. Does Uncle Malcolm eat them because they’re a vegetable and he’s a vegetarian?”

“Yes dear, how clever you are to have worked all that out by yourself. Why don’t we have a little rest from our conversation now?”

(Pause for two bites of food.) “Do potatoes have noses as well?”

“Now you’re just being silly, when have you ever seen a vegetable nose?”

(Narrows eyes.) “When we had a snowman, he had a carrot nose.”

(Casts eyes to the floor.) “Yes, I suppose we did, but that was different.”

“Because the snowman wasn’t a vegetable?”

“I expect so, dear.”

“About Uncle Malcolm, mummy; why doesn’t he eat animals then?”

“I don’t know dear, why don’t you ask him next time we see him?”

“But you said we weren’t to discuss it and you told Uncle Malcolm he wasn’t allowed to say anything to upset me.”

“Did I? Oh well, that must be right then.”

“Do animals eat other animals?”

“Yes, sometimes.”

“And do animals eat vegetables?”

“Yes, sometimes they do.”

“But animals don’t eat crinkly chips, do they mummy?”

“No darling, not crinkly chips.”

“Except our dog Jambo – he likes chips.”

“Yes, except Jambo.”

“And Jambo likes meat from a can as well.”

(Pats child on head to alleviate desire to scream.) “Yes dear.”

“And do vegetables eat other vegetables?”

“Why don’t you tell me what you think?”

“Erm… I don’t know. But potatoes could see the other vegetables, only they don’t have any teeth.”

“So that would be a ‘no’ then?”

“Do fish eat vegetables?”

“I imagine some do, yes.”

“Is that why we eat fish and chips together?”

(Gazes at ceiling for inspiration and divine intervention.) “Probably.”

“But I still don’t see why Uncle Malcolm only eats vegetables.”

“Alright, you win, I’ll try and explain. He doesn’t want to cause suffering, directly or indirectly, to another living thing. Does that help you?”

“Thank you mummy.” (Two bites later.) “But aren’t vegetables alive?”

“Sort of, but it’s not the same.”

“So they are alive?”

“Everything is alive, sweetheart.”

“Even the television?”

“That’s just being silly.”

“But you said everything. And what about rocks and rivers and… and… mushrooms?”

“Rocks – no; rivers – no; mushrooms – yes.”

“So why does Uncle Malcolm eat vegetables if they’re alive?”

“Because Uncle Malcolm has to live too, otherwise he couldn’t visit us on Saturdays and bring you nice presents.”

(A long silence.) “I think I might become a vegetarian when I’m older.”

“That’s lovely dinner; now finish up your burger because your fries are getting cold.”

THE END

Choose Your Words Carefully

2011-08-28T10:10:00.007+01:00

The one thing you can say for certain about words is that no two people use them the same way. They are symbols for understanding something and they are open to interpretation.

For anyone who wants to write comedy, this is surely a blessed state of affairs, bestowing upon us homonyms, alliteration and a host of other goodies. For any other form of writing - and writer - it suggests that we keep on our toes.

The internet abounds with stories of Advertising geniuses who failed to spot the meaning of a catchy name or the translation of the name in a different language. And yes, I know that the word 'internet' also translates as 'urban myth', but some of those tales are true:

http://www.snopes.com/business/market/incubus.asp

I was at a writer's meeting yesterday, where we gather together, read and critique one another's work-in-progess and eat well. Warren was trying his damnedest (love that word!) to get a point across to me about 'voice' and I just couldn't get my head around it. In the end, it all boiled down to using a metaphor that made sense to me. One could argue that we each speak our own dialect.

Content and Context - the Romulus and Remus of good writing - can sometimes produce minor classics, such as this job ad that might be suitable for a gerbil with a 50 wpm typing speed.

I also found this recently, which rather speaks for itself.

I recently contracted with an e-publisher for a short story of mine and we are now going through a joint edit. It's fascinating to see how my words are interpreted and their insights into how that story can be improved for an international market. One word that I'd taken as commonplace turns out to be Middle English and not used in the US at all. Go figure!

There is a huge difference between writing for yourself and writing for your reader.

Free Association Friday

2011-08-19T15:27:00.005+01:00

Taking a leaf out of the Motheroad blog, which I periodically clog with irrelevant comments, here's a list of things I've observed over the last couple of days:

1. A shop assistant on a till, asking the customer in front of me what the fruit or vegetable was that they'd plonked down - because they didn't recognise it on sight. It was a marrow. Okay, botanically it's a fruit although it's used as a vegetable, but come on - really?

2. A job ad entitled Mortgage Broker / Opportunist. You've got to love their honesty.

3. A magazine I'd responded to that wanted a free article a month for the time being. When I asked about their model and timeline for paying writers for original content, I was advised that they would "...prefer someone who is more interested because they love to write, express and share." And also that I "...don't appear to fit with the goals of the magazine."

To paraphrase something mentioned recently on the excellent Strictly Writing website. "Tell that to a plumber!"

4. Time is finite (hey, I never said this was going to be profound). Every half-started, unfinished project that loiters in my in-tray is taking up headspace. While I could argue - with myself - that anything that's languished for months doesn't merit further attention, that doesn't clear it out of the tray. It also means recognising that some of the things I've spent time on have reached a natural conclusion.

5. Action really does speak louder than words.

6. Leave the wasps alone and they'll leave you alone.

Back to the Feature 2

2011-08-14T12:28:00.008+01:00

In which our hero sees his future, attempts to change his past (which, from his future's perspective is his present) and then his present's past (which is the past from all perspectives except the past itself and the past before that).

Just as the clippings I preserved so diligently (even if I forgot about the 'referring back to them' part) led circuitously to many of the things I like to write about now, so too will my current interests act as seeds for a future harvest. But it's not linear. Along the way, my enthusiasm for Green Living has led to writing about chickens and polar bears. An interest in personal experiences that shape someone's outlook on life led to writing about my brother, my sister and - albeit semi-fictionalised - my own innocent abroad tale Scars & Stripes (second draft to be completed this year).

I've had a sea-change about the relevance to writing of both ebooks and social media. And while I can't yet claim to have mastered wither, it's clear from even my forays that social media and ebooks require a different mindset and a different model to develop a readership and a client base (which are arguably the same thing). Debate has raged (trust me, I get the emails) about the ways in which self-published and conventionally published authors of ebooks can promote their wares and themselves. I've yet to see a Twitter phenomenon who has built up his or her following predominantly from there, but I'm sure it'd be a tweet to behold (sorry, couldn't resist it).

So integrated communications seems to be a future area of interest - and marketing, naturally. In fact, one could argue that writers could spend so much time connecting with their community and setting out their stall that they'll cut back on time actually spent writing and editing. Which sounds an awful lot like the embodiment of empty vessels...

With all that in mind, I'll take this opportunity to remind you that I am available for freelance writing and editing, and that you can find me in the following places:

Website: www.professional-writer.co.uk

LinkedIn: derekthewriter

With a Facebook page to follow, my ubiquitousness will be complete. Until the next media tool comes around, of course.

Back to the Feature

2011-08-12T15:28:00.006+01:00

I've been glancing up at the cardboard folder on the top shelf above the screen for, oh, I don't know how long (well, I do now, but work with me on this). It's the one marked 'clippings' and stems from the time when I was a project manager and gathering ideas for my future outpourings of journalistic gold.

A brief delve into the wad of yellowing newsprint tells me that my interest was piqued by:

- Religious pieces about the real Noah's Ark, the real Mount Sinai, a Muslim husband with a Jewish wife (Oy!) and the Vatican's list of approved angels.

- Green technology, local currencies, ethical shopping, downshifting and investing in woodland.

- The new face of feminism and a female gladiator.

- A woman whose 12hr flight took three and a half days because the airline 'lost track of her'.

- A man who became an artist after a stroke.

- Allergy testing, depression and death.

- Corporate gamesmanship, cyber security and surveillance.

- The EU's (and John Prescott's) regionalisation of England.

- Recommended building societies (hey, it was a few years ago) and planning for a secure retirement (ditto).

- Ebooks and a publishing phenomenon (no, not her this time - someone else).

- The insurance firm that offered everyone a fun-sized Mars bar when it gave them redundancy news individually.

The interesting thing, from my perspective, is that I'd happily write something inspired by any one of those subjects today. Perhaps I see more springboards to fiction now, but even so, the trails are still warm. What surprises me is the earnestness with which I collected them and the recognition that I wrote very little with any direct link.

Green Living, Creative Writing, Human Interest and Politics all remain staple interests of mine. But as I've progressed on my writing journey, I've learned not to write pieces on spec unless I have free time and a burning passion. Far better to organise my ideas and put draft proposals together.

The other thing I discovered in the folder was a collection of headlines that would not seem out of place of BBC Radio 4's News Quiz or BBC1's Have I Got News For You. See image above.

Altogether, it's a little like a 10 year-old time capsule from a millennial me to the 2011 version. I'd like to send a message back: YES, I'M WRITING. THANKS FOR ASKING.

Share and share, a lie.

2011-08-08T15:08:00.006+01:00

Most people enjoy an occasional gamble. It might only be a once a year punt on the horses, a lottery ticket (It could be you - or someone else) or a scratch card. It seems to be part of our nature - the desire to take a risk and acquire a disproportionate reward. The trick of course is to have minimal risk for maximum payback, but probability is also a factor.

And every form of gambling has its own wonder tales and mythical set of golden rules. It's usually a friend of a friend who made a windfall and lived happily ever after. My brother David actually won £3500 on Euro 96, although he had staked £500. You could argue that's not a great rate of return for the risk (I did, after the fact), but he was convinced it was a sound bet based on the form.

David was also into backing horses. He once insisted I pick a horse out for the Grand National, given my interest in the esoteric. Never one to resist a challenge to my ego back then, I took the bait, scanning the list of names with my third eye blinking at the page (probably). One name caught my attention: Earthstopper. I think he put 50p or £1 on it, just to see what would happen. It ran the race, came in fifth then dropped dead.

Of course, there is one type of gambling that purports to not be gambling at all: investments.

Here is a brief history of my occasional foray into the world of sharedealing.

1. The ballad of Telewest. When I worked for BT, I read an article in the press, quoting a BT board member who mentioned Telewest and future developments. That was bonjour for me, as Delboy might have said, so I bought some. Within a week, they were on the slide. A smart person would have cashed in or walked away or both. Not me - I was now an investor. So naturally I bought some more when they were half their value, confident that I could cash in when the price once again rose heroically. Last I heard, following all kind of consolidation and restructuring, the company had morphed into Telewest Global and my several hundred pounds' worth of investment had been reduced to ONE share.

2. Energis. Gone. Popped like a spot.

3. There was another telecomms company. I can't remember its name, but let's call it 'Icarus 1990s' by way of summing up the experience.

4. Uniq. I actually inherited 201 shares from my brother and, following a restructuring exercise, it magically reduced down to just 20 shares. Add to that a looming takeover and I'll walk away with 20% of the previous value, whether I want to or not.

Writing is also a gamble. Just like investments, you benefit from doing research, from keeping abreast of trends and by studying the industry news. But unlike investments you can actually improve your chances of success by writing, editing and presenting to the very best of your ability. Plus, there's nothing to prevent you from investing the same material in two or more places at once. (And yes, I know that's frowned upon by some agents or publishers. Just as waiting six months for a response then being promised a phone call that doesn't materialise twice is frowned upon by me.)

Writing - it could be you next!

Lost & Found

2011-08-04T12:32:00.003+01:00

I've spent a little time this week scanning in photographs for blogs-to-come and as memory joggers for Scars & Stripes. Following feedback from Anne, Susie and Monika, I've decided (I think) that S&S works best when it's 1st person and more honest than the first draft appears to be. Warren was definitely right that 3rd person opens the book up, but having recently read Michael Wright's C'est La Folie, I'm thinking about approaching the book from a different angle.

The picture here is almost certainly from West Runton campsite in Norfolk. The car - as most of you will know - is a Morris Traveller and that special hound on the left is Tess. David is the one holding the football. Mum is probably making tea and dad is taking the photo. I'd forgotten this picture existed - there aren't many of Tess.

The photo is a nexus point for so many different streams of thought and recall. The pennants were from the camping club of Great Britain and Northern Ireland - they mainly showed all the places mum and dad camped before we came along. The Morris Traveller was one of a succession of cars, all smelling of vinyl and dog (ours).

I remember car sickness, the way my bare legs would stick to the vinyl in the heat, the handles for the windows and those jumpers that mum knitted for us. I remember the feel of the deckchairs and how they'd topple over at the slightest provocation. I can still hear the sound of the aluminium pots and pans, and the way the table legs used to screw in.

And those trails that lead off into their future and my past. I remember years later, meeting Carl Nunn while climbing the oak tree on the site and the first words I said to him, "Oi, Tarzan, want any nougat (which we pronounced nugget back then)?" He came from Cambridge and had a collie dog and a penknife with a rabbit's foot at the end.

I remember being 11 when Tess died and not knowing how to cope with the grief. And then at 13, we went camping in Somerset and it felt like the end of a chapter of my life.

So many points of reference from one photograph, all of them bathed in emotion and significance. And that's what I'm aiming for now in Scars & Stripes.

Make Believe for Grown Ups

2011-08-03T14:14:00.005+01:00

Creative thinking and the use of the imagination are often hailed as two of the secrets to productivity, originality and a whole bunch of other 'alities' (except banality). Most people can remember a time when, as children, we would play as characters from TV, the cinema or books, or even from our own imaginings.

I'm sure I'm not alone (it would be interesting to do a poll) in still remembering some of those characters even now, as an older child in my forties. I may have been a little unusual though in also having subsidiary characters and subplots as well.

One of the highlights of corporate project meetings, for me, was during the Ideas phase when we would brainstorm scenarios (before brainstorming became thought showers and after it had reverted, last I'd heard). Apart from the endless pleasure of calling out the first thing that came into my head - knowing that the scribe was duty bound to record everything, no matter how seemingly nonsensical - there was also the opportunity to try on different viewpoints and approaches. One way of achieving that by playing a part - designer, engineer, user, marketeer, customer, etc.

Of course, however much we may invent a character - whether it's in writing or for a specific function (first date, interview, new identity), there is always an element of us in there somewhere. And that element reveals something about us. In the case of some project meetings, it probably revealed my desire to do something different. Persona non gratis, you might say (unless you had a classical education).

I was thumbing through an old notebook recently and discovered a monologue, written from an invented character's viewpoint. Like the very best of first draft material, it was written at a gallop, with very little filtering going on - just a voice and its ideas rampaging across the page. It never made it to a second draft because I couldn't find a use for it, in anything I was working on at the time. What comes to mind now is a surly patriarch, trying to instil wisdom while his apprentice struggles to grasp what he's really talking about.

The tyranny of time is the tyranny of the mind. Its currency is certainty and inflexibility. Blinded desire is its ally. To be free we must free ourselves, purge our fixed expectations and let go of long held and cherished perspectives. Lose ouselves in the void to emerge cleansed, victorious and liberated.

Peace isn't merely the absence of conflict. It is the conditions in which confict is unable to flourish. Peace, like conflict, is a harvest. The ground must be prepared, tended and nurtured. The seeds must be planted long before the reaping and the crop attended to. And when the harvest has been gathered, what reminds must be ploughed back to resume the cycle.

Creativity requires us to make contact with that inspirational spark and to let its mystical flame engulf us. It is a process of connection and reception, and can be learned.

What we are each here to fulfil is the expression of our own essence. The courage to pur our souls into the cup of experience and drink it back in a banquet of becoming.

Everything you have felt, have known have dreamed - all lies within you. Ready to serve as your guide, your warning and your inspiration.

Lift yourself free from your burdens. Set the baggage of your past and the imagined future to one side. Rest at the roadside and wait. Is it yet too late to change your journey?

The Setting Sun

2011-08-02T12:06:00.004+01:00

The wonderful thing about photographs is that, when they're your own, you can step into them in your mind's eye. Every picture has a story, but more than that, it also has a range of sensory memories. Take this little beauty above.

It was the last day of the trip to Egypt and the sun was sinking rapidly. Jon nipped off to get his camera (we had ours handy) and by the time he'd rushed back the Mighty Ra had been swallowed by the Nile again. If ever there was a blink and you'll miss it moment, this was it.

The small group of us stared out on the shadowy Nile, breathing in the heady scent of Jasmine in the evening heat and listening to the Nile softly lapping against stone. If you gazed just right, away from the hotels and tourist feluccas, you were transported across the centuries and gently deposited 2000 years ago or more. Nobody spoke for a few minutes; each of us was in our own private communion.

I have thought about that sunset moment many times since then, regularly reflecting on the need to embrace the moment (I was never one for seizing). Whatever our beliefs, we are in the here and now for a finite time. I had cause to consider that once again yesterday when I received word that a friend of mine (also a writer) died unexpectedly last week.

Sometimes it's easy for us to get so caught up in the business of daily life that we forget what it is to truly live. My friend seemed to understand that principle. Practical, capable and creative, he was one of those people who always had a clutch of projects on the go, but who nonetheless had time for other people. Although we never quite got our arts projects off the ground - the funding race we thought was a sprint turned out to be a marathon - we had fun together at our ideas-and-cakes meeting. I'm humbled - and a little bit ashamed - to realise that I still have a couple of his stories left to read. He not only wrote well, he lived well. Another sun has set.

E is for ebook

2011-07-29T16:11:00.013+01:00

When is a book not a book? Tom Uglow spoke at Port Eliot about the ways in which ebooks and the digital experience could be more interactive than a mere saddle-stitched paperback could ever dream of. Being by nature a bit of a Luddite, I'd yet to fully embrace the virtual book, but I could see that my expectations of what an ebook is (or will be) were very wide of the mark.

I saw it as little more than a PDF of a 'real' book. Another helping of humble pie. please.

There is a wide range of ebook devices and platforms, so many that it's easier for me to provide you with a link than attempt to sound knowledgeable.

Cue Wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_e-book_formats

As you may recall, I put together my own ebook as an experiment and a way of commoditising some comedy sketches. (And yes, I did use the word 'commoditising' to goad you!)

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/75117

Mark Coker has created a fantastic tool, enabling any writer to upload a formatted Word doc and hey presto (actual process takes a few more steps) your ebook is born. He has also put together a list of artists who will produce an affordable book cover to your requirements.

So, why am I such a convert to ebooks all of a sudden?

The image above is a bit of a clue and more will be revealed around October 14th.

Port Eliot 4 - Enough Already!

2011-07-27T11:40:00.008+01:00

Okay, just this one and then I'll shut up about it. As you'll have gathered, we enjoyed Port Eliot a great deal - all the photos are Anne's, by the way. There's such a range of authors and performers that there'll always be something to inspire, entertain or crush you (because the person speaking is just so damned GOOD at what they do). A special mention has to go to The Idler Academy tent, which managed to combine an engaging programme of speakers with an atmosphere all of its own. Think Tom Brown's Schooldays meets a student revue and you're halfway there.

Altogether, we saw James Attlee, Simon Day (twice, in my case), Dr Mark Vernon, Simon Munnery, John Cooper Clarke, Tom Uglow, Jackie Juno, Ed Harcourt, RSVP (where we learned to dance Bhangra style) and Sea of Bees. We saw two films at the open air Cinena Paradiso- North by Northwest (where the mozzies did their own biplane tribute by attacking us) and The Red Shoes, while indoors at the Paradiso Piccolo we watched The Barley Mow. Peter Gordon's cooking demonstration was very good, as was the tour of the house and nipping out of the venue and around the corner to see the church at St German's with its Burne-Jones stained glass windows.

I never expected...

- Wheelbarrows as the preferred mode of transport for small children.

- To see so many pregnant women - it was like something out of Dr Who. Or Alien.

- To see Suggs from Madness, sitting in an audience.

- To find Bob the Builder nappies dumped on the floor of a chemical toilet cubicle.

- To hear people laughing at Homer - the Greek one, not from The Simpsons.

- To see a performance poet I met on a comedy writing course two years ago.

- To meet someone from a yoga class ten years ago.

- To see vandalism.

- To hear that some locals were determined to get in without paying - and had.

- To hear the music through my sternum. At two in the morning.

- So much litter on the last morning - bottles, plastic glasses and Ocado receipts.

Port Eliot 3 - Observations

2011-07-27T11:17:00.004+01:00

Notes jotted down from Port Eliot:

1. The literary scene is an exclusive club made up of people who went to Oxford or Cambridge and / or who have an MA in Creative Writing. There are other clubs, however.

2. It's de rigeur to have at least one friend named Harriet, Chloe, Marcel, Rudyard or Parsifal. I once adopted a cat and named him Einstein, but I don't think that counts.

3. By sheer coincidence, the children of authors, agents and editors have a tendency to become authors, agents and editors. This is either the result of osmosis or having parents who can bear the brunt of the unfunded internship.

4. Embittered, unpublished writers often can't see the wood for the trees - which is a pity as there are some beautiful trees at Port Eliot.

5. An unofficial creche system is in operation, whereby wayward parents leave their wayward children to roam about all day (and much of the night), relying on the kindness and patience of strangers. On the plus side, it was probably one of those children who dropped the fiver that I found in a field.

6. Perception is like the weather. Give it a few minutes and everything changes.

Port Eliot 2 - Caravan Envy

2011-07-27T11:01:00.004+01:00

I imagine that staying in a Gypsy bow-top caravan is a lot like having a novel published. Not only is it a satisfying experience, but it also provokes a wide range of responses from other people (especially when it's raining).

These include:

- People pointing and staring.

- Some cutting to the chase and asking how much it cost you.

- People pressing their faces up at the window then apologising.

- Children playing with the handbrake while their parents watch.

- Small children insisting they're allowed to come in and look around.

- People either staring from their rain splattered cagoules in thinly veiled contempt.

- People asking if it's yours and telling you how lucky you are. (And what do you say to that?)

And this relates to writing how exactly?

I was coming to that. When you have any success, be it with writing or any other endeavour, it creates ripples. There will be times when you end up in the spotlight whether you planned it that way or not. And wherever possible, try and enjoy it. Even if you're the luckiest so-and-so on Earth and wrote that piece on a gap year while staying at The Ritz, you still wrote it. Never justify and never apologise for your success. And if the Blue Meanies are giving you a hard time about your achievement, write a story and turn them all into monsters.

Port Eliot 1 - Now that's what I call recycling

2011-07-26T16:59:00.003+01:00

First it was a bag to carry shopping on to the site.

Then it was a ground sheet to watch the open air screening of North by Northwest.

Then it was a breadboard.

Then it was a rain hat because someone (that would be me) forgot to bring a cagoule and it peed down for a day.

Then it was a rather fetching blog picture.

It's not just a bag, it's an M&S bag.

And now it's in the bin.

Work Backwards

2011-07-20T12:03:00.005+01:00

One of the things that always fascinates me about writers is the search for a formula. It's a quicksand trap that's easily to slip into, especially when you hear of other writers you know who are doing rather well. In the blink of a green eye, you can lose yourself in the delusion that one woman's meat is another man's main course.

Which is not to say that models aren't useful. If NLP teaches us anything (and I know the jury is still split on that score), it's that behaviours and approaches can be modelled. So, recently, when I was discussing ways in which freelance writers can map out a strategy, the following idea came up.

1. Start with what you know. This should be precisely what your product or service is.

2. What problem or issue does it solve?

3. How does it solve it? (This will get you thinking about how you define what it is that you offer.)

4. Who would need that problem / issue resolved?

5. Where would you find them?

6. How could you communicate with them?

This approach might be especially useful for people who see life as a set of problems to be solved, rather than an opportunity for aspirations to be realised.

The joke's on me

2011-07-09T20:44:00.024+01:00

When I was a kid, one of the highlights of the run-up to Christmas was the epic Woolworths' advert on TV. It was always longer than any other ad and starred proper celebrities like The Two Ronnies.None of which has any relevance to this post, but I thought I'd mention it.

What I do want to tell you about is my latest eBook - a Showreel Sketchbook that I've put together for non-profit events. It was created for people who want to try their hand at comedy sketches, but who don't have their own material, and draws upon my experience writing for The Treason Show, The NewsRevue and several one-off shows.

The Showreel Sketchbook is available for £2.99 and you can purchase it here. There are no restrictions on non-commercial use, so the book could be used for showreels, drama groups, corporate events (one of my first comedy adventures) and parties.

The collection is a mixture of two-hander quickie sketches and longer set pieces, covering a range of topics including sex, drugs, teens and religion.

1. Work Rage

2. ID Card Secrets

3. Religious Service

4. Non-Emergency

5. Tony Tears Quickie

6. Pensioners Strike

7. The Three Rs

8. Jesus Woz Ere

9. Cyber-Bullying

10. Psychic Warning

11. Sex Talk

12. Human Hybrids

13. Nursery Rhyme

14. Gravedigger

15. Cash For Your Gold

16. Fertility Treatment

17. School Daze

18. Ambulance Quickie

19. Middle-Aged Teen

20. Vatican test

21. Dirt Quickie

22. Pets

23. Donor Fatigue

24. D-R-U-G-S

25. Chuggers

26. Surrogate Mum

27. A Bitter Pill

28. A Risky Business

29. Just The Ticket Quickie

30. Troubled Teens

31. Prison Service

32. Sharks

33. Church Against Yoga

34. He-Mail

35. Rule Britannia

And here's a sample...

Donor Fatigue

Cast of two: Customer and Café Barista.

Customer: All the international disasters these days – it’s simply appalling!

Barista: I know! There was the tsunami, that hurricane, those wars, the famine and the nuclear you-know-what; it just goes on and on. It’s terrible.

Customer: Exactly! I mean – I’m not made of bloody money!

Barista: Right, then. That’s one large latte, one organic Danish and an Amaretto biscuit. That’ll be £8.20, please!

END OF SKETCH

Don't delay - purchase today!

Drama Groups - The central site for Amateur Dramatic Groups and Societies. Swap ideas; advertise shows and auditions; look for props and costumes; find or advertise a script. A central source of information for any aspect of the art of Amateur Dramatics.

Co-Dependence weekend

2011-07-02T17:23:00.011+01:00

When you think about it, people care more for mythology than they do for truth. Over the years I've met people of all persuasions (forgive the irony) who refused to shift their position in the fact of new evidence.

Whether it's Churchill's proposal for a United States of Europe or whatever really happened on that fateful September 11th in 2001, we tend to treat our beliefs and opinions like football teams - once we've bought the scarf there's no going back. Personally, I like the cross currents of ambiguity and firmly believe (at least for today) that opinions are for entertainment purposes only. While I can't manage the egolessness of Plato's 'This I know- that I know nothing', I make a point of regularly questioning my own values and viewpoint.

People have gone to war over beliefs and ideologies and yet, when it all comes down to it, surely our similarities are always greater than our differences?

So, the main purpose of this blog post is to allow my fellow writers and readers from the A Word with You Press online creative community to get a proper look at the graphic above. It comes from a back issue of As Above So Below magazine and features my spoof on the US Declaration of Independence and David French's stylistic eye.

Now, I know that July 4th has a mythology (or history, if you prefer) all of its own. In my brief time out there, I came to see the reverence and relevance in which it's held. I've also read books such as The Temple and The Lodge, which delve into the influence of freemasonry in the creation of the USA. It's a slightly different history, but the ending is the same!

So why did David French and I point a satirical finger at the United States of Europe? Because, as all lovers of comedy know, the ambiguity of no-man's land, where something 'is and is not' is fertile ground for squishing ideas together and then adding your own topping. We liked the idea so much that the USE became a regular feature of our magazine and some of our readers liked it too (apart from the ones who hated it).

So to conclude this circular path, mythology is important. And okay, if we start to veer towards religious ideas, you can use a different word now if it makes you feel happier. In writing, what occurs is less important than what the characters and the readers believe and feel has taken place. As that quintessential American writer Mark Twain (or Samuel Langhorne Clemens if you prefer) put it so well: “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.”

A Lovable* Rogue at the Halfway Point

2011-06-30T14:09:00.008+01:00

It's that time of the year when many writers see one of their seasonal offerings thrust out into the world. I'm talking of course about today, June 30th, being the halfway point in the calendar year.

It's a good opportunity to pause and reflect and, as every ex project manager knows, it pays to review your progress at regular stages and see where the hell you are in relation to where you'd planned to be.

The latest good news is that a classic sci-fi story of mine called Rogue is included in Beyond the Horizon, published by Alasdair Firth's Bamboccioni Books at the end of July. This brings my 'ISBN by association' tally to three this year (the others being The Wanderer and Coffee Shop Chronicles Vol 1). So far so good. I've also put together my first ebook - a drama resource of comedy sketches for non-profit use. A good friend of mine is, as we speak, combing through the collection of 30 or so sketches and probably weeding out the ones that relate to religion, sex and drugs. I haven't quite figured out where it will be sold, but I have heard good things about Smashwords so that's a possibility.

Longer term business clients have been crossing my path with e-silver, which is always gratifying. Meanwhile, my novels Covenant, Standpoint and Line of Sight continue to circulate through the letterboxes of agents and publishers, which I consider a bit of a no-score draw. As all writers know, submission is very much a waiting game with occasional pauses. But, in the spirit of the midpoint, I have chased up three contacts today to find out about my other submissions (you didn't think that was ALL I was working on, surely!).

There have been one or two casualties along the way. I achieved my goal of a magazine column then promptly lost it upon the altar of economics. It was fun while it lasted although fun and well paid would have made for a more enjoyable experience. Still, one can't have everything. And I've already mentioned the client who thought my working for two hours gratis would be an excellent way to demonstrate my ghostwriting skills. Gone but not forgotten.

My all-seeing spreadsheet tells me I have:

6 books collectively awaiting 11 responses

7 short stories collectively awaiting 11 responses

33 magazine submissions, pitches and queries awaiting a response

Anyway, I can't sit here yapping all day - I have a deadline to meet. Here's to the next six months!

* Spelling approved by my trusty copy of Guardian Style.

Ghosts in the Machine

2011-06-22T16:14:00.006+01:00

I don't profess to be particularly technically minded; I still don't understand how to get more than a hollow sneer out of my Adsense account, for example (or Absense, as I've lately thought of it). And I also haven't got my head around the finer points of improving the rating on this blog and my fledgling website.

Marketing does interest me though and I regularly re-read It's Not How Good You Are... by Paul Arden, which provides encouragement and inspiration in the wee small hours. It also helps that it's a wee, small book.

No, there are other things I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night. Ghosts, for one - not the spirits of the departed or that theory about locations retaining recordings of images and emotion, under certain circumstances.

The ghosts I'm talking about are the blog visitors who stay for 00:00 and whose presence only registers on my sitemeter as an IP address. Someone once said that the past is an unknown country. That may be true, but these IP addresses are also from an unknown continent and given that there are only seven to choose from, I find that adds to the mystery. Who are they? What do they want? Why don't they stay very long - are they looking for somewhere else to haunt? Even googlebot leaves a calling calling card.

Technical answers on an e-postcard or comment please.

And my thanks to the friend who suggested I leave out a mince pie and a glass of sherry - I'm fairly sure that's only for Christmas visitors.

Weird science

2011-06-18T11:59:00.010+01:00

Okay, so this blog post is a little bit of a cheat. I'm doing my best impression of an editing octopus at the moment, but fellow writer David French sent me a youtube link so extraordinary that I feel compelled to share it with you. Yes, just you, sitting there reading this - never mind about the others.

Here's the all-important link showing something amazing that Honda have developed.

And just to show I've paid attention - here are a few thoughts (along with some anally retentive timings to match the footage):

00:08 A self-balancing robot is amazing, but whenever I see Asimo's (non) smiling face, I hear two words in my head: Cyberdyne Systems. And not the British company of the same name. It took decades for Daleks to manage the stairs, but Asimo has already got it covered.

00:19 It's a CD player, surely?

00:44 Hey lady, you've just broken your speakers.

00:59 Wow, a unicycle for people who can't be bothered to pedal.

01:08 Erm, brakes?

01:19 This heralds the office jousting contests we'd always dreamed of. Now, where are the broom handles? (Every office has those, right?)

01:26 How, surely?

01:34 Not a rip or run in that carpet and no stains either.

01:42 'A natural riding feel' - if you happen to think riding on the edge of a CD player that can't tip over is natural.

01:54 Parallel parking - I see a future market for cars. And it's mere coincidence that it's a woman riding the thing.

02:16 I've got to be honest; as soon as I saw the 'wheels within wheels' concept, I thought of Ezekiel in the Bible. Then I remembered a book that I'd read a long, long time ago about a NASA engineer who took an analytical eye to Ezekiel's vision.

02:51 Pressure to... test its tilt correction limits, try and trip it up or just to point and gawp?

02:54 Just for a moment, I thought the jousting had been ditched in favour of mid-air arm-wrestling.

02:57 Hmm... anyone else think she's carrying an accident insurance claim form in that box somewhere? And she doesn't look down at any point. Ta da!

03:05 One of my favourite parts - how to combine galleries, performance art and technology. But when do they start juggling?

So there you have it. A truly amazing piece of technological advance that will hopefully open up new horizons to anyone with mobility issues and anyone who doesn't have room for a Segway. Not so good for drunks though, I'd have thought.

It's very impressive all the same. But... get Asimo to ride a U3-x and we'll have a surefire winner for Britain's Got Talent. And best of all, he doesn't sing (as far as I know). Genius.

* U3-X image located at:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Honda_U3-X_2009_Tokyo_Motor_Show.jpg

A Grave Undertaking

2011-06-11T14:17:00.008+01:00

So there we were, watching the telly last night. Jo Brand was on fine form, hosting the last of the current series of Have I Got News For You. And slap bang in the middle of the programme, Ian Hislop mentioned a new word to me (not to me personally, I'm aware there are many other viewers as well as a studio audience): taphophile.

So Anne, who does not enjoy the idea of appearing in this blog, looks in my direction and says, "That's what you are." Now, I've always thought I like a good graveyard as much as the next man (or woman - taphophility is an equal opportunity pastime), but it turns out that I like it more.*

A graveyard can be a haven for nature and one of the few places to see a decent yew tree. There's social history there too and, more importantly, personal stories. It sounds obvious to say it, but these were real people who lived, loved and went the way we're all heading. I find all of the above both sobering and cause for reflection. As a writer, I also draw inspiration - from the names, the poignancy of the dedications, the artistry of the headstones and the sheer atmosphere of the place. I'm also drawn to war memorials, but that's another story.

Writing about death and mortality in fiction can be a test of nerve, sensitivity and skill. Most adult readers will know what death and grief sound like, smell like and feel like. Whether it's a thriller, a fantasy novel or even a comedy (I can only speak for myself here), we aim for authenticity. And the way we do that is to draw upon our own experience or our imagination of that experience. I haven't gone so far as to borrow names from headstones yet, but I have tried to draw on the mood of the graveyard and what it represents - peace, closure, loss and anger. In the end, I suspect, we're each exalted in that final scene or brought down to earth by mortality.

Writing about death and grief in non-fiction is another ball of beeswax. I've commented on that before so rather than repeat myself, here's that link:

http://alongthewritelines.blogspot.com/2009/08/crossing-line.html

So here's to you David.

* The picture was taken in Scotland. We were visiting Roslyn Chapel and I wanted to check out some supposed Templar or Masonic graves. I suppose that's a little exotic even for taphophiles!

Stand aside - a long read

2011-06-07T13:55:00.006+01:00

Now that I've completed the first draft of my transatlantic novel Scars & Stripes, I've been sunning some of the content under the fierce rays of scrutiny from two writers' groups I belong to. (Step forward and take a bow, in no particular order: Warren, Martin, Chris, Elizabeth, Susie and Kath.)

As S&S started life as a semi-autobiographical novel, the first person POV made perfect sense. But it does have its limitations and there's a certain cognitive dissonance that occurs when I start meandering into fiction told from my perspective. Far better than, as Warren has tried to persuade me from the very beginning, to switch to third person and start again at page one.

Despite my uninformed protests, I tried it with a few pages and it was immediately apparent that writing in third person not only opens up the narrative (to include observations and useful information that a first person narrator couldn't possibly know), it also acts as a buffer zone between me and the source experiences so that the characters can start to tell their own story.

Anyhow, without further ado, here's a sample from the revised 'work in progress' Chapter 1:

Scars & Stripes

Derek Thompson

“Thanks for having me over.”

Chapter 1 – The First Time

Thursdays had always been Alex’s favourite day of the week, until that one.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” Polly whispered breathlessly. “And you’re not going to like it.” Her eyes veered away then sharply back again, as if checking his mental progress.

He suddenly had a very bad feeling about this; the fights and angry silences, her mysterious disappearances – they all pointed to one thing. His mind raced back, picking out clues, like the end of a murder mystery – wisdom in hindsight. Polly, suddenly smoking again; Polly, listening to new music; Polly, changing.

She cleared her throat, bringing him back to the present. “There’s someone else.” Time froze, burning the moment into his mind - the stillness in the room, his breath catching in his throat and the way the sun shone through her Indian cotton dress, silhouetting her legs. He thought he’d never seen her looking so lovely - it was his personal Princess Diana moment.

Once Polly’s big secret was out in the open, neither of them spoke. He stood there in tears as she blurred before him like a rainy view, while she looked on in mute embarrassment. He’d always promised himself that if this moment ever came, he’d handle it with dignity and honour. But now that the dreaded moment was here, a voice in his head was whispering ‘Sod that for a game of soldiers’. He nodded to himself, fair enough. He was twenty, with the emotional maturity of a troubled eight year-old, and his secure little world had just been shattered.

When Polly spoke again, he wished she hadn’t bothered. “It’s Jimmy – it’s been going on for a month now. I thought it was time we were honest about it.”

He huffed; what a cliché. So Jimmy was the villain of the piece - the ‘just a good friend’ that he’d had to swallow his suspicions about, because he was ‘obviously insecure’. Too bloody right he was.

All Alex’s high ideals went out of the window. Even by his own estimations, he was a complete arsehole about everything, pleading his case in predictable fashion: swearing, shouting, threats and recriminations - all the greats. Polly bore it all stoically; afterwards he would even say she’d been generous about it. She could afford to be though, he'd always add – she’d got what she wanted.

“So, erm,” she chewed her lip, “I’m gonna take off for a few days to let the dust settle. Mum says you can come back over the weekend to pick your stuff up.”

“Where will you be?” he sniffed, blinking slowly to try and take it all in.

“Folkestone. My brother’s letting me and Jimmy use his place for the weekend.”

He took the knockout blow without comment and she led him out of the ring. Next thing he knew, he was at the front door and Polly was whispering ‘sorry’ as if he’d just failed an interview. The door closed behind him and he stood for a moment, watching the traffic. Then he heard her Polly’s mother through the glass. “About time – I thought he was never going to leave.” She may as well have popped the champagne.

He didn’t sleep well that Friday night, tortured by the thought – well, the reality – of Polly and Jimmy together in Folkestone. On Saturday, he went shopping for goodbye presents because it seemed the right thing to do. And if they happened to tug at her heart strings and made her come running back, begging for forgiveness, so much the better. Sunday morning, he went back over and collected his things, which her mother had thoughtfully crammed into two Tesco’s bags. She let him go up to Polly’s room and he left two parting gifts on her pillow: The Egyptian Book of the Dead - an early Christmas present, and Madonna’s single, Crazy for You. He also accidentally left the receipts in the bag, which was understandable as he had a lot on his mind. It was the autumn of 1985 and, as far as Alex was concerned, his life was over.

All break-ups are difficult, but Alex and Polly’s had a further complication. Call it fate, karma or chance, they had both ended up working in the same Civil Service building. They hadn’t met there (an Animal Rights march, actually), but it was a quirk of fate that when he applied – at her encouragement - that’s where he was assigned. Fate could be a cruel bastard.

What once seemed like a blessing was now a curse. In that first week after the split, he’d catch glimpses of her in the foyer sometimes, wearing a pained expression whenever she saw him; the kind that people reserve for a beloved pet in its dotage. After a seven day cooling off period, she decided that they ought to be above petty emotions and support one another through this period of transition.

Consequently, they now attempted civilised lunches together at a vegetarian café in St Paul’s, where invariably he paid and she tried to avoid his attempts to hold hands as friends while they sat waiting for service. Polly spoke in clipped sentences, as if she were in a black and white film. Not the sci-fi films he had started collecting on video, but the sort of thing that started off in a railway station and ended up with him falling sleep before the finish. There they would sit, awaiting their vegetarian cuisine; he trying desperately not to play twenty questions about the past while Polly, swinging between concern for him because, she assured him, she still cared about him, and wanting to sing from the rooftops about how great life was with Jimmy. It was an impossible situation, for Alex; he longed to see Polly, but every time he did, he felt as if he were making payments on a car that he was never going to drive again.

Over lunch, pen and paper, they divided up our friends like possessions – it wasn’t difficult. Those people he’d known before they met, he kept. Everyone else – met mainly through her anyway - belonged to Polly, with limited access rights.

He listened and tried to pay attention as she gave him a copy of their agreement to respect one another, but he couldn't help feeling as if he were being squeezed out of his own life. Or at least, the life Polly knew about.

Six months before the split, he and Polly had met Paul’s new girlfriend (Paul was one of his originals) - an American exchange student named Stacey. She’d dated Paul for a few months, until he’d inevitably cheated on her; then she went back home to rebuild her life. The day after Polly set off to Folkestone, Alex had rung Stacey in Wisconsin to wallow in the bad news.

She'd been fatalistically philosophical. “It had to happen – how else could you grow? What a drag. It’s a shame we can’t meet up.”

“Yeah,” he sniped, “I’ll just get the bus.”

“You could always fly – they have planes these days…”

Alex wasn’t big on embracing the moment, but it was a lifeline so he grabbed at it. He’d never been anywhere before, unless you counted the family trip to Malta where he’d learned to swim in the hotel pool, aged 19. All he knew about the USA was what he had gleaned from TV and films, and time spent talking with Stacey. As far as he could see, it was full of bold, fascinating and talkative people. Which could be just what he needed.

He felt a tremendous sense of power in holding the secret back from Polly during their friendly lunches, for the whole three weeks that he managed to keep his mouth shut. It wasn't how he'd planned it, but he grew tired hearing about Jimmy’s car, Jimmy’s sensitive side and how he was just so good for Polly.

“I can’t meet for lunch next Friday,” Alex tossed into the conversation, with all the subtlety of a lump hammer;“I’ve got an interview at the American Embassy.”

Naturally, Polly took the bait. “You never said you’d applied for a new job,” her voice dipped a little.

“No, I’m getting my visa,” he said, reeling it out, yard by yard, and loving it.

“Oh?” she lowered her hummus sandwich.

“I need to get it taken care of this week,” he paused then added, like a child bragging about a favourite toy, “because I’m going to America soon.”

Polly paused mid-bite and seemed to look at him differently. In his mind, he’d become exotic, decisive; perhaps a little more like the person he’d been when they first met.

His sense of superiority didn’t last long once he’d acquired his visa. He had more pressing things to deal with, such as arranging a mutually agreeable travel date with Stacey. Agreeable to her and affordable for him, since the main thing he’d learned about relationships was that they were expensive. December it was, then – almost three months away. Meantime, he was still in Polly’s gravitational pull – bumping into her at friends’, the wholefood shop or the alternative bookshop. Or as Polly liked to put it: the three boundaries of his world.

He saw Jimmy for the first time at the wholefood shop, when he’d run out of puy lentils. And they’d both instinctively shared a silent nodding acknowledgement – the dual recognition that they each wished the other under a bus and that the only thing they had in common was sleeping with the same woman. And not necessarily on different days.

Friends tried to be patient and supportive. Alex would listen as they encouraged him to see new people. Then he’d tilt his head against their words and spend the rest of the evening showering gloom and despondency on everyone around him. It wasn’t long before he took to spending more time on his own, wandering around Central London at the weekends like a spectre. He'd start at Hyde Park and gradually gravitate towards Covent Garden, where boutiques and design shops rubbed shoulders with new age emporia and veggie restaurants. He quickly grew to love it there.

The new age shop where he’d bought Polly’s Book of the Dead was a particular favourite. And they had psychics and other readers there so what better place to figure out what to do with his life? The manager, a kindly looking man with a bushy beard and glasses – looking like a cross between a Maharishi and an accountant – peered down a list. “I can do you a tarot in half an hour or a palm reading after four.”

Alex checked the clock on the wall – the one festooned with angels. It was about one-thirty. He opted for the tarot reading, left his name and payment upfront, and went for a walk.

“Don’t be late back,” the manager called after him, “the cards don’t like to be kept waiting.”

Alex left the shop with a smile on his face, convinced he was doing something decisive about his situation, beyond spending a tenner. When he returned, he was shown through to the back of the shop.

“Number three,” the manager murmured, pointing down some steps.

As Alex walked past numbers one and two, he could hear a low muttering as the psychics and seers plied their trade. He wasn’t a sceptic; far from it – he had a set of my own cards at home, for all the good they had done him. But then everyone aiming for enlightenment knew it was hard to read one’s own destiny. Polly and he had gone through a mystical phase, just after the political phase and just before the alternative psychology phase. With each successive change he had kept the philosophies and the books.

He knocked on the door marked three and watched as the cheaply taped number flapped against the wood. The door eased in a little and he went inside. A woman was sat at a table, facing him. She had one hand clenched around a can of coca cola and the other rested by a spread of cards, as if she expected one or the other to make a break for it. A cigarette burned lazily on the edge of a saucer, four spent companions beside it like a family grave.

He glanced at the cigarette and coughed involuntarily. She took the hint and stubbed it out. That, or she really was psychic. She smiled, proffered her hand and said, “Hi, I’m Maggie – take a seat.”

He sat opposite and she scraped the cards together before passing them over. He knew the drill and shuffled them quietly, trying to focus on ‘the matter at hand’ without making eye contact or asking questions about her accent. Irish? Canadian? American? Something exotic.

She laid the cards out, face down in rapid succession, pausing to finish the last of her cola. Once ten cards were in place on the baize, she started top left and turned over the Two of Cups. She smiled and looked straight at him. “So, your relationship has just ended.”

Alex let out a stilted sigh and shifted a little in his seat, like a criminal caught in the act. That was how he came to meet Maggie, although he could never have foreseen how important that meeting would become. It was less of a psychic reading after those first few words, and more of a meeting of minds. They were like old friends, working through the reading together, swapping favourite authors and laughing about the incongruities of life. Towards the end, she wrote something on a piece of paper and said, “I teach at Old Street – you should come along.”

He waggled his head noncommittally, picked up the note and shook her hand. She’d already lit up another cigarette before he’d got out of the room.

Outside, the sun was still shining, but a breeze had picked up. He wandered back to Covent Garden underground with a sense of contentment. He couldn’t put his finger on it exactly; nothing had really happened in the last half an hour, but he felt as though he had just managed to scratch an itch.

He didn’t make up his mind about Maggie’s classes until Monday night and on the Tuesday, he arrived at the address on the note, an impressive red-bricked building that looked like a Victorian school. There was a wholefood shop next door, which was miraculously still open after 6pm, accessible through the main building.

Apple juice carton in hand, he climbed the stairs to the second floor and peered in through the glass-fronted door. Maggie turned immediately and waved him in. He was early, but that was fine as it gave her a chance to acquaint him with the syllabus.

Over the next few weeks Alex learned about meditation and the symbolism of dreams, he practiced moving imagined spheres of energy between his palms and he started to look at people differently. Everyone in the class seemed to fit into a pigeonhole. There were the bright ones and the needy ones (he was the crossover kid), the devout Christian who nonetheless wanted to see what else was on offer, the intellectual one with his own ideas that he always happy to share and the stray ones looking for a date. Each contributed in their way and each was desperate to get their own needs met, including him.

He stayed behind after the class to help tidy the furniture away; it wasn’t as if he had anywhere pressing to go. “Do you need, er, a lift?” he gripped his car keys like an amulet, even though they weren't doing amulets for another 6 weeks.

“That’d be great,” Maggie said, blowing out the white candle on the table. Something he’d learned from Stacey was that Americans tended to see the world in bright colours. Things were awesome, great, fantastic or crap and bullshit – no middle ground.

He soon realised why it would be great, as they crossed the Thames into the labyrinth of South London. Psychic she might be, but Maggie had no sense of direction at all. As they meandered back and forth through Deptford, he mentioned his upcoming trip to the US and she offered some sagely advice: “The Mid-West, in December? Pack a sweater because winter there is a bitch.”

By the time he navigated my way safely back to North London, where he also managed to get lost on his own, it was close to eleven-thirty. He was tired, but happy; there was a certain joy about being around strangers, an opportunity for reinvention or simply holding back. As he got home, murmuring apologies for waking anyone up, the phone was ringing.

“Where have you been?” Polly pouted down the phone. “This is the fourth time I’ve rung you.”

He didn’t say much beyond ‘hello’, having learned from the whole Stacey / visa affair that telling Polly what he was up to felt like giving away little pieces of himself – and he was still trying to collect a new set.

“So,” she sniffed, as the silence extended, “where were you?”

“Just out.” He stared at the wallpaper and wondered whether tonight’s exercise on closing down the aura could be used to good effect.

“We went round to Nathan and Kate’s and they said they hadn’t seen you for ages…”

There was more silence from his end of the phone. He wondered if they’d gone there on purpose, just to check up on him.

She lasted a count of seven. “Anyway, I just felt like a chat and I wanted to make sure you were okay and everything,” her voice began to crack.

What he should have said was, “I’m fine,” and politely put the phone down. He knew that, of course. But no, what he actually said ran along the lines of, “I think Nathan and Kate were getting tired of me talking about how my girlfriend left me a few weeks ago, for some friend of hers.”

Then Polly started crying and he felt like an idiot, again. And before he knew it, he’d opened the floodgates with those fatal words ‘so how are you then?’ and learned more about her relationship with Jimmy than could ever have been good for him.

END OF PART 1!

The writing on the wall

2011-05-27T21:01:00.005+01:00

There are some books that immediately speak to some inner part of us. Within a page or two we are entranced, with that same focus and attention that we had as children when we read under the covers because we couldn't bear to leave a chapter unfinished.

While writers such as Tolkien and J K Rowling have overtly dipped their bread into the mythical soup, many other writers - knowingly or unknowingly - conjure up archetypes that we embrace gladly like old friends.

In the field of writing itself there are also archetypes (or cliches, if you prefer). The struggling artist, the posthumous success (Steig Larson), the 'I happened to go to school with a literary agent' (also not-so-fondly referred to as 'the jammy bastard') and a clutch of others, which you can recognise at any writing conference or creative support group. Myths are powerful cloaks to wear however, and over time can become so comfortable that we don't notice the cloth beginning to tighten in. And, in their purest form, myths give us definition and insight; they exalt the best of human traits and they warn of the consequences of the worst. They are a rambler's map of our own psyche.

Joseph Campbell examined myths and cultural tales from different places and identified similarities and key stages. His Hero of a Thousand Faces is a good starter if you're new to him.

Campbell proposed three distinct stages for the hero's quest:

1. Separation (e.g. leaving the village, seeking love / adventure, etc)

2. Initiation (the trials and tribulations that are overcome)

3. Return (the hero transformed who arrives bearing gold, wisdom or some other reward from the quest).

I've often thought there ought to be a stage between stages 1 and 2, a 1a if you will. I call it 1a. Preparation. Every piece of writing, in a sense, is a quest to transform and translate ideas into a cohesive narrative. And, unless you plan to keep your work in a drawer forever, one of those writer initiations lies in bringing your word to print or at least to the reader in some form.

We can learn a lot from mythology. About how it stirs the emotions and shapes thinking, about how each culture and civilisation wrestles with the same human frailties and finds ways to illustrate the dynamics of the human condition. And we can learn how to condense the experience of everyone into the story of anyone.

When the Egyptians - or any other civilisation for that matter - defined their pantheons and legends, they were really creating stories that would echo through the ages. As grandiose as that sounds, perhaps that's what all good writing aspires to do as well.

Lyonnesse

2011-05-25T09:06:00.009+01:00

What child doesn't like the idea of living on a tropical island, palms swaying in the breeze and pale sand to run your toes through? Cue music... Add to that a dash of mystery and hidden treasure, and you have all the makings of a classic children's book.*

Or failing that, a week away to recharge the batteries, where all of the above still hold. (Okay, the Isles of Scilly have a sub-tropical microclimate, but let's not quibble.)

The IoS lie just 28 miles west of the British mainland and some say they are the remains of the lost land of Lyonnesse. Five islands are inhabited (I know, that sounds adventurous just on its own) and the main island St Mary's can be reached by helicopter, ferry or plane. We once took the two and a half hour ferry crossing and it was rougher than a cat's tongue coated in industrial sandpaper. I flew back by helicopter alone, praising the god of aviation.

The plane is our preferred mode of transport and takes off from a grassy airfield on a cliff. We fly at around 1000 feet and the journey takes a mere 15 minutes. From St Mary's it's a short boat trip to St Agnes, having taken my trusty ginger capsules beforehand! Okay, that's enough of a plug for the tourist industry.

The main attraction of St Agnes is the lack of distraction. Unplugged from email, a reliable mobile phone signal and familiar routines, a transformation quickly takes place. I find myself actually writing with a pen again - usually up to 12,000 words in the week we stay there. And I read more - the cottage is stacked with books. Had it not been for St Agnes I would never have encountered Raymond Carver or Elmore Leonard, never dipped into Margaret Atwood or tried yet another Anne Tyler book and still found it didn't speak to me. And every book I ingest changes my writing in subtle ways, if only temporarily. I take on other voices and sometimes they stick around to join the throng.

* I mentioned mystery and treasure, and I try to keep my promises. The mystery I pondered most - apart from how to pay the bills when we get back - was how all these writers found their voice and their niche. There they rest upon the shelves, jostling for arm room - the genre specific and the literary; and all of them have made the novelist's journey from 'nagging away at your brain' midnight idea to the finished page-flicking product. Best of all perhaps is that they all approached it differently. other writers can only draw strength from that. As Brian Keaney has reminded me, there is no magic formula. You write your best work and then you try to place it somewhere. The End. Or at least, The End when you choose to give up and leave the arena.

The mystery then becomes less about how to achieve something and more about why one takes the path they have. So I spent time looking at where I've put my creative energy and the projects that have either yielded little fruit or none at all. Surrounded by the sea and the constantly shifting breeze, I find my thoughts mould to the unceasing rhythms.

Sometimes it's good to let things go and move on, to stand on the shore and wave goodbye to those paper rafts we launched with such fierce ambition. For me that has meant relinquishing a humour column in a Canadian magazine because economic reality is more important than the cachet of a line on my CV. Even though the tide will eventually submerge them, it's good to know where we draw our lines in the sand!

And for the writers that I know, the greatest mystery is always 'what next?'. As a friend of mine in California used to say, "Life is a mystery to be lived and not a problem to be solved." Which, the internet informs me, is probably a quote from Danish philosopher Soren Kierkgaard.

* I also promised treasure. There were two kinds of treasure on the trip, each tangible in its way. The first was a story - the kind that arrive as a pleasant surprise, fully formed and racing through your mind as you grasp at the rushing mist. A folk tale of sorts, about the plight of mermaids and the children they leave behind. The second treasure was the discovery of a box, while out walking. A tin box - the sort a child might keep their special things in (see the delightful film Amelie) - and containing a letter of some kind and some pearls. The tin in a plastic bag that also contained a plastic angel, hidden underneath a rock. I found it by a combination of serendipity and clumsiness. I didn't read the letter and put it all back where I found it.

There's probably a story in all that somewhere, but it's not one for me at the moment. I'm too busy working out the next chapter of my own adventure as a writer.

The Ones That Got Away (and one that didn't)

2011-05-22T11:17:00.012+01:00

Hello and ahoy to everyone. I'm just back from a relaxing and contemplative week on the Isles of Scilly. But more about that in a separate post, teaser that I am.

It appears I've been more circumspect than I intended recently, regarding my progress in securing representation for one of my novels. I had an email from someone upon my return, asking if in fact I now had an agent for my Brit thriller Standpoint. So it seemed only fair to clear the air, like a literary twitter.

In a word: no. The agent was concerned about my novel's distinctiveness and felt an agent specific to that genre would be more likely to secure a publishing deal for me. Since then I've approached his three recommended publishers directly and I'm waiting to hear from two of them (one will only talk to agents).

Elsewhere, I finally got a response back from a sci-fi / fantasy publisher in the US about another novel Covenant (God loves a trier, as our mum used to say). Writers typically expect to wait around 3 months for a response to a submission, whether it be by email or the trusty envelope. But I think I have reached something of a record here - something that even rivals the year it took to get a proof edit of the same novel by a previous publisher (who then went out of business).

Cue drum roll...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your patience as we considered your novel. Unfortunately, it does not seem right for us. Due to the volume of manuscripts we receive and the press of other business it is impossible for us to go into particulars. Please do not take this rejection as necessarily a reflection on your work; we can accept fewer than one percent of the manuscripts submitted to us. Best of luck in another market.

And how long did it take to get that feedback? Take a breath...

1 year, 3 months and 16 days.

Patience, is is said, is a virtue. This timescale, however, is just a week shy of the gestation of the Grey Rhino (source: Vaughn Aubuchon). Still, it could have been worse; it could have been an Indian Elephant.

And because I know everyone likes to end on a high note - there's a joke in there somewhere about the sex life of an opera singer - I do now have another little book out there in print. I was going to wait for the link to be set up then badger you all mercilessly about it (I still might), but there's no time like the present. And no present as suitable as this book.

The Wanderer is a contemplative read, described by an editor from another publishing house as 'wonderfully reflective'. It's a short tale of a man who wakes up on a beach and who then sets out on a journey of self-discovery. www.awordwithyoupress.com/store

Friends Reignited

2011-05-10T19:39:00.005+01:00

I spoke to a friend of mine this week for our customary biennial (and occasionally triennial) phone call. It's always great to shoot the breeze with him and especially so this time because no one had died. In the way that old friends are, we used a shorthand crafted by the years - a funny line here or there, which would meant nowt to anyone else, had us both in stitches. It seems to suit us, this occasional fly-by as we get on with our lives, and it's always interesting to see what if anything has changed in our personalities.

He's not on Facebook or Friends Reunited or My Life because he doesn't see the point. As he says, what sort of meaningful conversation can you have, with a stranger you once knew, if your only reference point is something that happened decades ago in school? (Cue Sandy Denny or Kate Rusby singing 'Who knows where the time goes'.)

In writing fiction, emotional shorthand can be used to establish a connection between two characters. Whether it's someone reacting to familiar music, dialogue reminiscing about a specific event or some small passing clue, the reader feels that there's a history to be discovered. It's like being in on a secret and that sense of intimacy not only gives the characters depth, it also draws the reader in.

The English poet John Donne wrote that 'no man is an island'* and we exist in a sea of interaction. Social media, one could argue, is swamping us with waves of quantity even though we're thirsty for quality. In writing, everything matters or else why put it in at all? We - and our characters - are always responding to both internal and external stimulus. Mr A acts a certain way with Ms B because she reminds him of Mrs C or because he and Ms B both fell in love with the same woman and he lost out. A personal story, well told, makes for compelling listening and reading. Even if the person happens to be someone else's creation!

And the photo? Well, as Charles will immediately recognise, it's Emma, one of the best friends I ever had. Yes, she shrieked when excited, like a kettle about to explode; and yes she tended to pong a bit after going into the sea (and sometimes even when she didn't); but she was quite simply a brilliant dog. Heart of gold and brains of sawdust, and brilliant.

* Except perhaps the Isle of Man.

Memory Maker

2011-05-05T16:59:00.004+01:00

Do you have a friend who consistently gets a fact wrong, even if it’s a detail about an event that you’ve previously corrected them on? It’s as if that piece of information is permanently misfiled or corrupted – the memory equivalent of two synapses stuck in a death grip handshake.

It reminds me (no pardon intended) of False Memory Syndrome, which has been offered up as an explanation for some allegations child abuse or alien abduction. My own particular false memory is less contentious, but no less puzzling.

Our dad died when I was twenty-two and our mum followed him, about four years later. However, I also have these pseudo memories, of dad outliving mum and there being just dad, my brother and I, living in the house.

It’s only a quirk of imagination of course, unless the idea of parallel universes periodically intersecting ours appeals to you. But that empirical understanding has never changed the quality of the experience for me. It’s as if I have two competing sets of memories – the one, sharp as a scalpel; the other, hazier, as if trying to recall a film you saw long ago. And both have endured over the years.

Part of the process of writing, I think, involves the writer undergoing a journey of self-revelation. The more we write, the deeper we dig, and as our characters and plot and dialogue unfold, so we see more facets of our self. Rather than hiding in our work – irrespective of the genre or how far-removed from our own experience the ideas might be – I’ve come to the conclusion that we actually want to be found: the writer revealed.

Good writing is authentic – it shows us what it is to be a living, breathing and feeling human being. It doesn’t matter if the stories are comic or tragic or dramatic or undemanding, whether they inhabit the past, present, future or never-could be. Human, alien, animal, faery, robot or fridge – it’s all the same as long as it touches us.

And why this, now? I’m glad you asked!

As I’ve been working through the first draft of Scars & Stripes, reviewing my memory of real events and seeing where imagination can trip off the page, I’m aware that the line between truth and fiction is becoming blurred. The emotions (and in some places, the dialogue) from one world are being siphoned off into another of my own making.

The interesting thing though is that, having decanted real events into fiction narrative, I have a much clearer perspective on both the vintage and the nouveau.