Guest spot - Sinclair Macleod's bit o' banter

Of all the Tweets I'd read, Sinclair Macleod's were the only ones to reference Irn Bru, Haggis and Glasgow. I was intrigued, having a fondness for the Dear Green Place myself, after working for a boss based there. In fact, so proudly Glaswegian was she that she referred to Edinburgh simply as 'the other place'. Needless to say, we never had team meetings there.

Somewhere in the annals of this blog, I think I've mentioned Sauciehall Street, and possibly the Clockwork Orange and Kelvingrove. Perhaps too that Glasgow has always reminded me of New York. So I'm delighted to share a virtual conversation with Sinclair Macleod, who talks about his writing and how what makes him tick. It'll take your breath away.

1. What motivates you as a writer?

Since my days at secondary school I have always had a passion for writing. I wrote sketches for school shows and concerts. As an adult I started several novels but never got any further than nine chapters of a space adventure.

When my son, Calum died after contracting bacterial meningitis, I realised that life was too short to put my dreams on hold.

Now I write because I want people to enjoy the stories I have to tell and every word is inspired by and dedicated to Calum.

2. When you started writing your debut novel, had you planned it out first or did the book develop organically?

I started with a plan but at times there seemed to be someone else in control. I created a character in the first book that was to be a regular in the series. One day I finished a chapter and discovered that the character was dead, as if someone had killed it off without my input. It was not what I had planned when I sat down but the story took over and it turned out to be a crucial part of the plot.

3. Does the Glasgow in your books differ in any ways from the Glasgow that people know and love?

Glasgow is a crucial character in the book. It is a city of extreme contrasts in terms of architecture with everything from the mediaeval cathedral to the cutting edge contemporary designs of the modern riverside.

I use many real locations that are very distinctly Glaswegian, such as the former Templeton Carpet Factory that houses Craig’s office and Victorian opulence of the City Chambers, the home of the city council.

Other locations are amalgamations of real places with a little bit of my imagination. The pub that Craig and his friends go to is a combination of three of my favourite bars in the city.

I hope that my descriptions of the city help to give the story a sense of place and character.

4. How do you balance your time spent on writing, editing and promoting your work?

At the moment I am in an intense phase of writing as I try to finish the third book in the series. My wife tends to be my sounding board for creative editing decisions and she helps me to structure the books. My editor, who happens to be my cousin, does the technical editing and I will do a little once the book is getting close to publication.

Promotion is the area that I found the most difficult and the area that does not come naturally. I have promoted the books through local libraries and social media and my blog. I have also had some coverage in the local press recently; which I hope will help to spread the word. Promoting the third book will occupy the majority of my time for a couple of months after its release before I start on the next adventure.

5. Do you find that writing is a cathartic process and what real life influences do you draw upon?

I do find writing a cathartic process, it is a great way to still my thoughts and allow me to escape into my imagination.

I love to watch people and what I learn often finds its way into my characters. For example, I was out with some friends in a pub when a young man approached and offered us some cheap cigarettes. His bag still had the luggage tag from an airline attached to it. It was a perfect little cameo for the book to show one of the many aspects of the city that makes it an interesting place to live.

6. When did you know you had a series and where would you like to take it?

I must confess I wrote the first with the intention of creating a series of books. I think as a writer, a series gives you more scope to develop and evolve your characters. The fact that the first story had been in my head for around eleven years before I made a concerted effort to finish it meant I had plenty of other ideas backed up behind it.

I am hoping to be able to produce audiobooks with the help of an actor friend.

7. What’s your favourite part of Glasgow?

That’s a tough one. The West End is a cosmopolitan and lively part of the city and is home to my protagonist.

If I had to choose a building it would be the House for an Art Lover. It was designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh and showcases some of his finest interior design features.

8. Which books have you written and where can we find them?

The first book is called ‘The Reluctant Detective’ and the second is ‘The Good Girl’. They both feature the insurance investigator turned private detective, Craig Campbell.

You can learn more about them at my website http://www.reluctantdetective.com. Both are available for Kindle, iPad and as paperbacks from Amazon.

Twas a night before Christmas...

...and there in the pub, not a creature stirred...well, only to the bar and back, and the occasional trip to the gents.

I must have been around 18 and thrilled to bits to be in a pub where the barman didn't immediately want to throw me out. It turned out that he quite fancied me, but that's neither here nor there as far as this story is concerned.

He also offered me the only gig that our band, Bad Timing, ever received. Believe me, we were terrible - I still have a rehearsal tape somewhere to prove it. But I digress...

So, we arrived at the pub at 1.30 in the afternoon. There was me, a friend of mine from my schooldays, his stepdad and Jock - his stepdad's work colleague. Jock's the only one with a name in this tale as he features heavily in what transpired.

Jock, from Glasgow, had been drinking heavily. When he wasn't lecturing us whippersnappers about how, right now, this was 'the only man you'll ever be', or eating copious quantities of crisps, Jock was slowly but surely sinking into an alcoholic haze. I, meanwhile, over the seven hours that we spent in that pub, actually sobered up. It wasn't difficult as two southern comforts were (and are) about my limit.

So we left the pub, in Hackney ( I remember it as The Favouite, but the internet can find no trace), and moved on to another pub in Hackney Wick, where it all went a little pear-shaped. You see, the barman of this other pub was Billy the Boil, from Aberdeen. And clearly, somewhere down the line, there'd been bad blood between Glasgow Jock and Aberdeen Billy.

We didn't know about the bad blood at the time, but it soon became pretty obvious when Jock started muttering about how he was going to take Billy the Boils' boil right off his face. Before you could shout 'chill out' (of course, we didn't have the term in the eighties), Jock had smashed a pint glass on the table and leapt at the bar to have a go at Billy. You've never seen so many pissed people move so quickly.

By now it's pandemonium; Billy has somehow repelled Jock and knocked him back - probably with a fist. Down Jock goes like a sack of spuds and people have pinned him to the ground. Meantime, Jock is screaming "Don't let him cut me, don't let him cut me," at the top of his voice, while me and my friend stare at the scene in amazement and horror.

Jock, bleeding from the broken glass that he's holding, is bundled out the pub with us and told not to come back. No one calls the police, naturally - that's not how these things are done. We get in the car - I think the stepdad has stuck to soft drinks - and drive off into the night as Jock regales us with his favourite fights and why Billy the Boil is his sworn enemy. But, as none of us speak drunken Glaswegian, most of the subtleties are lost on us.

I felt as if we'd passed some kind of multiple initiation of manhood. A lock-in in a pub, drinking with older men, the offer of a gig for the band, witnessing a pub fight (after a fashion) and making it out unscathed.

I never saw Jock again although my friend's dad told us other stories about Jock's flick-hatchet (which he unfortunately demonstrated while inside his new car), Jock's new Mercedes and, by way of explanation, Jock's brief and disastrous sideline as a drug dealer.

I give you the ghost of Christmas past!

Guest spot - Martin Bodenham - The Geneva Connection

Today I'm joined (virtually - use your imagination) by another Musa author, Martin Bodenham. He has kindly consented for me to put him under the spotlight and fire questions at him from across the desk. Let us begin...

What is your book, The Geneva Connection, about?

It is a financial crime thriller, set in the UK, US, Mexico and Switzerland. The story is about John Kent, a massively successful private equity player, and what happens when his unbridled ambition collides with the world's most powerful and most brutal drug cartel.

Kent thought he had it all. The phenomenal success of his private equity firm has propelled him into the world’s wealthy super-league. Self-made and from a poor background, he’s living his dream. Then he discovers his financial backers are a front for the world’s largest organized crime group, the Mexican Caruana drug cartel. It is run by Felix Safuentes, also known as “Jivaro” after the South American tribe famous for decapitating its enemies. Kent’s nightmare hasn’t even started...

What was the inspiration for the book?

As a private equity investor, I witnessed a number of financial institutions running into liquidity problems during the credit crisis. That gave me the idea to write a novel about a private equity firm losing the support of its main investor due to the financial crisis and how it is desperate to find a replacement without asking too many questions.

When did you decide to take up writing?

I have wanted to write novels for many years, but the pressure of working full-time in investment fund management meant I did not have the time. Recently, I have wound down a little from running my private equity firm in order to focus on a few other things in life.

What does the writing process look like for you?

I treat as a job. I am lucky in that I have an out-building, which I have converted into an office. The days I devote to writing see me at my desk at seven in the morning. I finish around six in the evening. Whenever I have tried to do something, I have always made every effort to be the best I can be at it.

What is the most challenging part of the writing process for you?

There are always calls on my time and, if I let them, they will eat into my writing space. I mute my telephone and switch off email so I don’t become distracted. If the front doorbell rings, I don’t answer it. Treating it as work makes a big difference.

How did you find Musa Publishing?

A published author contact of mine mentioned Musa as a new publishing house run by industry professionals. They sounded like my kind of people. They were the first US publisher I approached, and they signed me up in days.

Why did you decide to go with an ebook publisher instead of a traditional print publisher?

I have always been an early adopter of new technology and I have used it throughout my investment management career to increase productivity. The days of print publishing for fiction are numbered, in my view. If it didn’t already exist today, would we choose to invent it when digital technology is available? I think not.

Can you tell us a bit about how you prepared a submission package for your novel?

I’m based in the UK so I followed the usual UK format: One page covering letter, two page synopsis and the first three chapters—one, two, three.

Having said that, I found it difficult to reduce my story down to its basic elements. I treated it like all the business plans I have received over the years as a private equity investor. The two page executive summary is massively important. It determines whether or not an investor wants to read the full plan. I figured publishers were like investors, which they are in many ways. They have to decide which few stories they will back. Like investing, knowing the ones to walk away from is as important as choosing the winners.

What piece of advice do you think is most important for aspiring writers to remember?

Think of it as a business if you want to have your work published. Then treat the writing as a job and properly devote your time to it. Treat the editing process as a great way to improve your product, and not as an attack on you. Finally, recognize that publishers are business people, so ask yourself why they should invest their scarce resources behind your work. The rest will follow.

What do you see as the biggest obstacle for emerging writers?

I think the greatest challenge for new writers is trying to stand out in a crowded market and in a digital age in which anyone can broadcast a message at very little cost. Readers and consumers are bombarded with messages, and there are very few quality filters on which they can rely.

Which authors or individual books have inspired you in your writing?

The authors whose work I really enjoy are John Grisham, Michael Connelly and James Patterson. I love their fast pace, multiple settings and attention to detail.

Do you think it's important to have a character's morality defined early on in a book?

I think it is important to establish early on the main character traits of the protagonist, so that a reader can decide whether to support them or not. It doesn't matter to me whether or not the protagonist is likeable. I just want the reader to have a strong emotional bias for or against him and, therefore, have an interest in what happens.

Have you written any short fiction?

No. Once I start a novel, I find I have too much to say!

Do you have a view on the recent criticism of HMRC's alleged cosiness to some larger companies when they're negotiating a UK tax bill?

The tax affairs of large companies can be very complex. Consequently, there can be many grey areas and uncertainties as to the right interpretation of the tax regulations relating to their affairs. That said, I see very little flexibility or understanding offered to businesses and individual taxpayers so I don't understand why HMRC needs to adopt a warm and cuddly approach to large companies. There should be one consistent approach applying to all.

What are you working on next?

Another financial thriller involving a Boston based private equity firm and US government corruption.

Smart writers do it this way

Not so long ago, I was chatting away with fellow writer Terrie Leigh-Relf about our writing (there were probably other topics in there too) and the inevitable relfection on the year that's passed.

We've planned to each go away (i.e. offline) and come back with our writing goals for 2012. I know, the very mention of the 'g' word tends to make people – and writers especially – go into sleep mode. But don't go just yet...

Goals, back in corporate land, were things you could control. And to make life easier*, especially when said goals helped determine your pay or bonus at the end of the year, they needed to be SMART goals.

Sing it with me, people:

Specific define what it is.

Measurable – how you can tell when you've completed it?

Achievable – is it within your control make this happen?

Realistic – do you personally have the control and the resources to do this?

Time-bound – when will it be done by?

Here are some goals that aren't SMART, even if they do appear to be desirable:

- Get my novel placed with an agent next year.

- Get my novel placed with a publisher next year (it's okay, I'm flexible - it doesn't have to be the same novel).

And here are some SMART goals:

- Write 2000 words per day. (Or, like Rachel Aaron, exceed that five-fold.)

- Spend three hours on my synopsis.

- Do a full edit of my manuscript by the end of March 2012.

- Identify three agents and three publishers to submit to.

- Prioritise my submissions.

- Contact the agent / publisher at the top of my list.

- Submit material from my novel.

Now, I will be the first to admit that SMART goals don't sound nearly as sexy or heroic. But they are...achievable. You're not reliant on anyone else to make it happen. You hold all the cards. Which means it's no one else's reponsibility but yours, if nothing happens (2012 end of the world scenarios notwithstanding).

My mantra of the moment is that we write, we edit, we decide who to submit to and then we submit. We need to do them all well because once our submissions leave us, it's out of our hands.

What are your SMART creative goals for 2012?

* May contain traces of irony.

Guest spot - Lee Anderson - An Artful Business

Creativity and business can sometimes seem like opposing forces, but that doesn't have to be the case. I recently chatted with New York Real Estate broker, Lee Anderson, who talked me through his experience of that sweet spot where creative endeavour and thriving business become one.

Q1. So, Lee, you combine a successful business with an active interest in the arts. Tell us a little about your company and how your creativity influences the way that you do business.

A1. I work for a real estate company called New York Living Solutions, located in downtown Manhattan – in the financial district, actually. It's really surprising how much creativity this job takes. And on lots of levels, too. For instance, there is a certain amount of artistic talent necessary to design real estate ads, which I do myself. I've always loved to paint and draw, so that comes in handy. I also write my own ads, which is how I finally found a way for that English degree to pay off. Plus, there's the creative aspect of helping people envisage how some empty apartment could be converted into a dream palace with the right design touch. I don't think I could stay interested in any job if it didn't involve creativity to a large extent.

Q2. Do you see opportunities in the creative world being applicable to businesses like yours? I see many authors now offering free ebooks and advice papers, or using promo videos on Youtube as book trailers. Have you considered anything like that to set your business apart?

I'm actually keeping a video blog sponsored by the New York Department of Cultural Affairs, called "Alphabet Pony," which I've linked with my business websites. Some of the videos that I post on Alphabet Pony can get pretty artsy and "out there," so some people have told me that I'm being too risky. They ask me how posting stuff that's crazy or weird can help my business image. Personally, I just think it's important to stand out and to offer people ideas that challenge and inspire. I've tried the straight promo idea and it's just not me. Too boring. Besides, that's one of the things that I love about the real estate biz: you can be yourself. People appreciate that, no matter how quirky you are. In my experience, they do, anyway. Helps them remember you too. I worked for years and years at jobs in which I had to be someone else – some stuffed dork in a suit – and I hated it.

Q3. What was it that first drew you to Real Estate as a career choice?

I worked for many, many years in the hotel business, which I'm extremely grateful to. I had some unforgettable experiences. Definitely met some people that I never thought in a million years that I would get to meet. But there came a point where I got tired with working late nights, working weekends, working holidays...there's a profound drawback in working for a business that never closes. I had some former coworker friends who had moved on to try real estate, and the reviews were good. I think it's most people's ultimate hope, right? To be your own boss and to have your own business? When I worked as a journalist, there was a part of me that always felt as if I was spotlighting people who were having a huge, beneficial impact on their environment, and on their city. I kept thinking, wouldn't it be more challenging and fun to have the same impact myself, rather than just standing on the sidelines and writing about it? Real estate is a way of beneficially shaping the physical world by using my talents, including the creative ones. Plus, after getting into a big-time verbal tussle with a lawyer and actually showing him that he was wrong, I was hooked.

Q4. Are there any creative techniques or books that you refer back to?

"The Real Estate Agent's Guide to FSBOs" by John Maloof and "The Power of Myth" by Joseph Campbell. I think it's important to balance the spiritual with business as much as possible, even in my choice of reading material. The only creative technique that I consistently use is to stand out as much as possible, using pictures that no one else has with graphics that are eye-catching enough to entice clients into calling me. I also use testimonials from clients that I've closed, who were more than happy with the service that I gave them.

Q5. Although I'm very tempted to ask you how you might see Campbell's "Hero's Journey" translating into good business practice, let's flip things a little. We've already talked about how a creative approach can be applied to business, so which lessons from the business world – and your own working experience – can be applied to creativity?

Just be disciplined and stay focused. It's all right to let your imagination go crazy, but there still has to be some structure applied to it at some point. Some way of measuring what you want to achieve and how you'll know when you've got there. Plus some quality control of course.

Q6. So, in your own creativity, outside of work, do you set deadlines and goals? And if that's the case, how do you define those parameters?

I believe you HAVE to set a deadline and a goal. Otherwise, how do you get started or know when to finish? Everyone needs a direction and a finish line. Mainly, my own parameters are time-based. I have to post on "Alphabet Pony" daily. I have to generate leads daily. I have to post ads in the New York Times twice a week. Objectives like that. Deadlines and goals drive everything for me.

Q7. Since we've talked about business and creativity and the arts, as a final question, what artwork (of any form) do you own or wish you owned?

My entire apartment is decorated with orginal works of art. Nothing by anybody famous – just friends, mostly. There are also a few pieces that I bought from artists off the street in Soho and Union Square. Come to think of it, I can't imagine my home without them. As far as pieces I would love to own, it'd be nice to have "Starry Night." I know that's an outlandish idea, but you can always hope, right?

Lee's bio

A native Floridian, Lee came to New York in 2000. He quickly became an exemplary agent in New York City’s residential real estate market, developing a significant following throughout Manhattan. During his career, he has built strong relationships with several prominent clients and leasing companies. Lee is best known for his ability to comprehensively grasp a client's needs and to negotiate difficult deals. A major advocate for the New York art and literature scene, Lee hosts a monthly reading series in the east village. He also serves as editor-in-chief for Le Chat Noir, a New York artists and writers collective. He maintains a blog for the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, and when possible, helps with such charities as "Behind the Book," "Children International," and other non-profit organizations. He is an active member of the Real Estate Board of New York.

Links

www.alphabet-pony.com

www.leesfidirentals.blogspot.com

Guest spot - Rosen Trevithick - Straight Out of University

It's my great pleasure to welcome a fellow West Country writer, Rosen Trevithick, to my blog. Here, amid a busy schedule for her recently published book, Straight Out of University, I turned the spotlight on her to learn more about her novel, food combining and fly paper.

Can you tell us about your book and the reasons why you wrote it?

Straight Out of University is a contemporary, comedy-romance that explores the culture shock of leaving university and trying to make it in the real world. That's something I've been through myself and I found it riddled with humour, so I let it inspire a book.

It also tells the story of a bisexual woman who is neither confused nor promiscuous, which I felt was long overdue.*

What would you say to your central character?

I'd tell Sophie Sweet that Maltesers and malt vinegar are not compatible ingredients, and probably lend her some of my recipes.

What are your aspirations as a writer?

Mostly, I want to entertain people. If I can make people think about a situation is a new way, then that's a bonus. Also, I'd like my writing to lead to the acquisition of a house on a cliff, with a flower garden and a windy path down to the beach.

Are you a meticulous plotter or a seat-of-the-pants writer?

It depend what I'm writing. I do enjoy making fiction up as I go, but that can leave me snookered without an ending, so I don't risk that strategy for large projects like a novel. Straight Out of University was planned carefully in advance.

Name three books - of any genre - that really inspired you, and why.

Matilda by Roald Dahl, One Day by David Nicholls and A Hole on the World by Sophie Robbins. Regarding the latter, I think it's incredible that an eighteen year old has already written and self-published a novel, let alone a good one.

Name an author you'd like to be trapped in a lift with, and tell us why.

Whichever author is also skilled as a lift repair technician. There's bound to be an indie author out there who knows how to fix a lift. There might even be an eBook on that very subject - indie books are getting pretty diverse.

What have you learned about yourself through the process of writing your book?

If you leave your housework for six weeks, nobody dies, but you do need to invest in some fly paper.

Where can we buy Straight Out of University?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Straight-Out-of-University-ebook/dp/B004XR0D12/

*You implied, at the beginning of this interview, that your novel's take on bisexual women was long overdue - can you elaborate?

There are four predominant bisexual women in fiction:

- The soulless baddie who will seduce everything and everybody in order to spin her evil web.

- The selfish, promiscuous slut who can't decide between men and women, so does both.

- The lesbian in denial.

- The straight woman who dabbles in lesbian behaviour in order to improve TV ratings.

Sophie Sweet is none of those. She's caring, committed, self-aware (after the first couple of chapters) and genuine - like a real woman.

You can also see a trailer for Rosen's book here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47VoHXM-4VY

In praise of... Musa Publishing

My short fiction work, The Silent Hills, is contracted to Musa Publishing and the whole process has been a revelation.

Within days, they'd sent me a contract, held a skype call to introduce me to the team, discussed cover ideas with me (and assigned an artist) and - be still my beating heart - gone through my text with a fine tooth comb and made comments and recommendations for changes.

Compare that to another, nameless publisher, who took 1 year, 3 months and 16 days just to email me a generic rejection. (Boo, hiss and so forth.)

Musa is a new and vibrant publisher, with a wide range of genres and authors - many of whom have been published elsewhere in print and electronically.

The Silent Hills comes out as an ebook on October 14th, for $0.99. If you have enjoyed reading these blog posts, why not treat yourself to one of my stories.

In the meantime, here are the Musa team, in their own words:

Editorial Director - Celina Summers

Editorial Director Celina Summers has been involved in e-publishing as an author, editor, review coordinator, senior editor, and managing editor for over a decade. She studied theater and political science at college in Tennessee, including master class studies in playwriting with famed dramaturge Howard Stein. First published in high school and now the award-winning author of sixteen novellas and novels, she left her career in professional theatre to return to her first love, writing and publishing, in 2000. As the driving force behind Aurora Regency, she produced over forty historical novels in the year before coming to launch Musa Publishing.

Financial Director - Kerry Mand
Kerry Mand comes to Musa with eight years of business ownership/management. As the Office Manager/Owner for those companies, she was responsible for Accounts Receivable, Accounts Payable, and payroll for employees. She recently worked for another publisher as the office manager before coming to Musa Publishing. Kerry is thrilled to be part of Musa from the beginning and cannot wait to see where it takes us in the future!

Promotions Director - Elspeth McClanahan

Elspeth comes to Musa Publishing after working as Promotions Director for another publisher. Before entering the publishing world, she spent many years promoting and assisting in the promotion of the theatres she has worked for and the mothers groups she belongs to. Her promotional experience includes, but is not limited to, review coordinator, conference representative, conference speaker, contest judge, special guest speaker, “After the Show” host, and Promotions Director. As an author writing under a pseudonym, she has published two novels and one novella.

Art Director - Kelly Shorten

Kelly Shorten has over fifteen years of Web/Graphic Design experience under her belt. Besides what she does for Musa, she also works on independent contracts working with businesses for their promotional items. She has been designing covers and marketing books for authors for over three years. Kelly was the Art Director for a publishing company for over a year.

Director of Editorial Production - Coreen Montagna
She has a doctorate in Pharmacy, but is an artist at heart. Even while working on her degree from the University at Buffalo, she took as many art classes as she could on the side: ceramics, photography, art history. Cory has been a voracious reader since elementary school and was heartbroken when she discovered that there are people who never read books if it isn’t required for work or school. As Musa's Director of Editorial Production, Cory combines her love of art and words in a wonderfully unexpected way. Her prior experience includes freelance work as a graphic designer and typesetter, as well as working with another publishing house as their lead copy editor and book designer. At Musa, Cory is the Head Copy Editor and is responsible for the interior book layout and formatting as well as eBook production.

Random script dialogue

[Driver and passenger are driving on a bend. Car coming from opposite direction, crosses central line and almost causes an accident.]

Did you see the way that driver cut you up?

I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.

Are you kidding? He was over the centre line. If you weren’t watching the road he would have hit you.

Look, it’s just another soul having a bad day.

Know your trouble? You make too many excuses for people. You just don’t want to see that people are basically selfish and they’ll get away with whatever they can. And don’t give me all that 'benefit of the doubt' crap. Because when a car rams into you at high speed and you wind up in hospital, all your 'soul having a bad day' philosophy won’t mean crap.

Whereas judging someone for a mistake that any of us could have made is in some way beneficial? Do you feel better for it or do you, in fact, just feel more stressed, if that was possible?

I feel like my eyes are open, unlike that bloody driver. And you, my friend, you’re in denial about the very nature of humanity, a humanity that you claim to care so much about.

I do. I love humanity. It's just individual people who create problems.

An interesting paradox. So he wasn’t people?

Well yes of course he was. But I don’t think his intention was malicious. He was just careless.

Clueless, you mean!

Same difference.

So if I burgled your house and accidentally burned your house down because I was careless with a candle on my way out, that would be okay?

You’d burgle my house with a candle – what are you, a Victorian theme burglar?

It’s a metaphor.

You mean an allegory.

Jesus, psycho driver gets to almost run you off the road without comment and I get picked up on for my use of language. Where’s the consistency? Metaphor or allegory, there’s still a candle and your house has still burned down.

Am I inside?

Er, no. You’re visiting friends for the evening - I'm not a monster.

Okay so I’m not injured. Just seriously inconvenienced. But I still have my car, right?

Well, unless psycho driver met you on the way home when you heard the fire engines.

So I could sleep in my car for the night – at a push?

Be realistic. Your house has just burned down. How would you be able to sleep?

Well, my files are all backed up to a server and there’s nothing I can do for my property. What else am I going to do?

You could mourn, show a little emotion, maybe? Christ, your whole life has gone up in flames. And what didn’t has been stolen by a..a Victorian theme burglar.

But you weren’t hurt, were you?

No! What does it matter if I was hurt?

I’m just saying, no sense in both of us suffering. And besides, most of my things are insured; probably overinsured.

You know, this glass half-full approach can be really wearing.

It’s a choice, okay? And I choose to look for the best.

It’s just a subtle form of denial.

What would you prefer?

Some honesty.

Okay, I miss my stuff, life sucks and I hope the guy who burgled me gets rectal cancer - no offence.

None taken. That’s the spirit!

Happy now?

Almost…

Okay, and that driver was a total arsehole who should watch the road more carefully.

Now we’re there. Do you really mean it - any of it?

Not for a second.

Bastard!

Now, now! Don’t distract me; I need to watch the road.

We've Only Gone and Done it, Rodders!

Yesterday's Writer Networking Event was a great success. Let's not beat around the bush: it was brilliant!

Imagine 45 writers in one space, the atmosphere thick with anticipation, creativity and a just a hint of competitiveness. Add to mix Cyprus Well Director, Tracey Guiry, who partnered with me to make it happen, plus author Sarah Duncan, and Dorothy Lumley from the Dorian Literary Agency. Simmer gently serve over the course of a day.

The event has been a long time coming, and without the input of Cyprus Well would never have got off the ground. I can say that categorically because I'd been flapping my arms around for at least a year before Cyprus Well came on board.

And what did we learn, on the day?

Sarah talked about her experience as an author and the realities of earning a living as a writer. She also led a pitching exercise. Dorothy talked about approaching an agent and some of the attendees had the opportunity to make a public pitch for their prized project. She also went through everyone's first page - all 45 of them - and added a few comments to think about.

However, for me, it was the personal touches that made a difference. Sarah and Dorothy made time for people, listening to them and offering advice and experience. Many developing writers have little access to those who have signed a contract and gone on to develop their craft commercially. And as for agents, most writers I know tend to feel that they are akin to unicorns - a lovely, mythical idea of something no one has ever seen.

There seemed to be a real appetite for an ongoing writing community, which we're hoping to provide through Cyprus Well's website. As for me, it proved that with the right people, the right location (and special thanks to Truro Community Library and the team for making us so welcome), the funding in place and some steely determination, great things are possible. Even in this economic climate!

Here's to the next project!