I suspect Social Media is a bit like sex - if the idea fills you with dread or gives you a headache, you're probably doing it wrong. And if the idea of an SM (no, not that one...) cold turkey leaves you in a panic, perhaps you need to look at things from a different angle.
After David French and I wrote The Little Book of Cynics, several people asked us if it was humour or genuine cynicism. We knew then that we had found our brand. With that in mind, here's a Cynic's Guide to Social Media.
Facebook - Millions of people in a crowded square, all trying to sell the same thing at the same time - themselves. And they do this by wearing bright colours, shouting and being quirky. LOL.
LinkedIn - A massive dinner party where everyone tries to simultaneously pass out their own business cards, while giving a cursory glance to everyone else's cards, adopting the standard phrase, "We should do business some time," and then waiting for someone else to buy something from them first.
MySpace - Lots of people at a party where most all the trendsetters have left, now telling one another that at last the party can get interesting, with no idea how to make that happen.
Twitter - Mass texting for those without a mobile. Perfect for those with a little something to say and very little time to say it.
Website - A shop front. Customers will be coming soon, probably, because the Google sandwich board man just walked past and waved at you.
Blog - A constantly revised press release for your shop front. Which means you then leave your shop and walk the streets handing out press releases to strangers.