You Must be Joking

 

Not so long ago, on LinkedIn, a bunch of us were lamenting the lack of opportunities for gag writers. It got me thinking about the things I’d tried in the past to sell some comedy material, successfully and otherwise, so here is a list of places to try if you want to flex your funny bone.* In no order, other than my ability to recall them...  The Grumpy Octopus – I wrote some social media content for them - a mixture of wordplay, surreal and situation-based captions. A most enjoyable gig! https://thegrumpyoctopus.com/en-gb The Treason Show – Topical gags, sketches and parody songs. There is a huge pool of writers and it’s run on the Darwinian principle of survival of the funniest. You got to see your material performed live and they paid for whatever they used. https://www.treasonshow.co.uk/ (https://www.treasonshow.co.uk/the-team.html) The News Revue – Run on the same lines as The Treason Show, and in fact predates it. True story, a co-writer of the time and I got invited to submit material when we were on a train to see The Treason Show. (Because we talked too loudly about our comedy writing.) https://canalcafetheatre.com/our-shows/newsrevue/

Newsjack – A BBC Radio 4 Extra (still Radio 7 in our hearts!) show that had an open-door for topical material. And paid professional rates too. They used a couple of my gags. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00kvs8

The Comedy Crowd – A great resource for checking out paid and voluntary opportunities. https://thecomedycrowd.com/opportunities/

Comedy Wire – A largely US website with daily challenges involving wordplay, news stories, or open jokes. Adult humour welcomed. They used to have ‘contests’ where the website team voted for the best entry and writers won Amazon e-vouchers. Those were the days! https://comedywire.com 

Greetings Cards – The days of sailing boats, bunches of flowers and cakes with candles are largely gone. These days, funny is on the money. I had seven gags picked up by the much-missed Graphic Humour Ltd, as well as a card gag for Selfish Kitty in the US. Card companies come and go so a useful resource is https://www.gca.cards/directory as well as old-school web searches,

Merchandise – Ephemera Inc is a popular site. As you’d expect, competition is fierce and bear in mind it’s a US concern. They made one of my slogans into a badge that I imagine is still offending people. https://www.ephemera-inc.com/

Film – I’m not talking about writing off to production companies because that’s like casting a pebble into the void. (Although I am still waiting, Baby Cow Productions.) That said, there are nuggets to be found out there, sometimes on freelance sites. Here’s a short comedy film called Wasabi that I scripted for someone. https://vimeo.com/122506746

Ebooks – Back in the day, David French and I started our own magazine (As Above So Below, a new age satire mag). It was as regular as a blocked drain, but we had a small and loyal fan base so we kept going. Emboldened by our own brilliance, as all comedy writers should be, I approached one of those ‘little book’ companies to pitch material from the mag. The result was The Little Book of Cynics, first as a real book and then an ebook. After that, largely for the fun of it (i.e. they never sold well), I put together an occasional collection of gags – some topical, some themed and some just puns. You can find them and my novels here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Derek-Thompson/e/B0034ORY08

Honourable radio mentions for other jokes used

– Damn the Torpedoes: military themed sketch show for the British Forces Broadcasting Service.

– Watson’s Wind-up: a BBC Scotland comedy show. One of my gags appeared on their last ever episode. I’m hoping that’s just coincidence.

– History Makers podcast.

– 4Weekly Show: Anyone remember Channel 4 Radio? I do. They used 17 gags of mine as additional material. Happy days.

Dishonourable mentions

– Contracted writer for US radio show The Afternoon Call and for comedy app iLarious (see what they did there...). Chuffed to receive both contracts and then jump through an ITIN shaped hoop, but not so chuffed to have never earned a dollar from either one of them.

* Not literally because that would hurt. Take it from someone who knows.

Altruism for Authors

I’m a great believer in supporting the writing community wherever possible and whenever practicable. Of course, there is competition for representation, for publication, and for funding, but most of that activity happens in the privacy of one’s outbox and those all-important decisions are beyond our control once we have pressed send.

How can novel writers support one another, I hear you ask? (I have a very active imagination.)

Several ways come to mind for helping out your fellow authors:

1.   Sharing on social media. It’s not so much that you’re expected to wield great influence, more that you are likely to know people (and communities) that the other writer doesn’t know.

2.   Hosting a blog post. Often the author will provide something for you to host. If not, a simple Q&A format, with one or two quirky questions thrown in, helps the author talk about their work in a new way for a fresh audience.

3.   Reading and reviewing. This can be controversial because there may be expectations of a shining review for a less than shiny book. Alternatively, it may not be your genre, or your thing. Sometimes authors will agree to mutual reviews, which can take on the nature of a poker game! Honesty is always the best review policy. Amazon has some baffling rules – which it doesn’t share – about reviews so don’t be surprised if a review there suddenly ups and disappears.

4.   Become a beta reader. You get to read the book first, sometimes as a work-in-progress, and other times it’s the pre-launch, basically good-to-go version. Here, the focus for feedback tends to be around grammar, formatting glitches, and consistency. You might even end up in the acknowledgements for services rendered.

5.   Making recommendations to your own readers’ list. And if you’re a published author and you don’t have a list, consider this a prompt.

 

Why you ought to consider it

If the notion of good karma doesn’t light your inner flame, there are more tangible positives to author altruism:

·      By participating in the community you are raising your profile, both to other authors (and their agents / publishers) and to your own followers and readers.

·      Interacting with other authors can be an education in other people’s creative process, which in turn informs yours.

·      It is an opportunity to see how other authors market themselves and their work, and then consider what you do.

·      More diverse authors and posts on your blog / social media streams.

·      Frankly, it takes you out of your own ‘magnum opus’ centred universe. Sometimes we need a little perspective and visiting someone else’s universe can be a great way to do that. It normalises what you might think of as your unique struggles, when you realise everyone goes through the same old crap!

·      Maybe, just maybe, other authors will go the extra mile for you. Who knows, you could start a trend!

 

Reservations

I know what you’re thinking (I did say my imagination was active): what about the downsides? Well, as long as you know why you’re doing what you’re doing, and you have realistic expectations…oh, okay then, here goes:

·      Other authors might be doing much better than me! In the words of an old friend from Staten Island, “Deal with it!” There will always be more successful and less successful writers than you. That’s the nature of the beast. But the ones ahead of you may have a bigger community for you, while the ones behind you may appreciate you all the more for your kindness.

·      What if people don’t help me back? Well, like the rest of life, sometimes that happens. Altruism is not a payback scheme.

·      Surely I should spend my time on my own writing? Yes, when you need to be writing. Only you know what time you can spare, but why not spare some of it to make a difference to someone else’s book / chances / day?

·      Isn’t altruism unrealistic, nay, self-defeating, in a competitive environment like the arts? If you see supporting others (and let’s face it we’re talking about small ways, not making a sandwich board and marching up and down Oxford Street for hours) as a drain on energy you’d rather devote to your own book, then this is not for you. I think it comes down to personal values. I’m not convinced that 20 minutes spent sharing the load of another author will be the decider between my success and my failure. I’d rather feel good about helping someone than see it as a winner takes all, rat race with pens. 

·      I feel pressured / guilt tripped / manipulated to do something I really don’t want to do. Then it’s not for you. No sale; no drama! But maybe let the other writer know, so they’re not building up false expectations (or a grudge!).

 

Supporting your fellow authors may not advance your own agenda one iota; that’s not the point. It may, however, make you a more fulfilled human being, a more rounded author, and a much appreciated contributor to the writing community.