Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts

Not a poet and I know it


I recently attended a couple of events at this year's Penzance Literary Festival. The first was a writing and mythology workshop, facilitated by poet and prose writer Angela Stoner. I mucked in as a steward for one event the following day and that turned out to be Angela's as well. I hope to interview her soon either on this blog or the sister blog www.strictlywriting.blogspot.co.uk

Like many writers I found expression through poetry in my teens, although no one dug my doggerel at the time. Maybe I was channelling my inner William McGonagall

The session Angela gave on myth took me in an unusual direction when I got home. I started to think about those elements of my storywriting that come from other people, often without their knowledge. Those precious slivers of overheard conversations that I skewered on my notebook pages, the borrowed memories, and the brutal cannibalisation of other people's experiences.

Graham Greene is said to have said: "There is a splinter of ice in the heart of a writer." Some say it's jagged glass, but I prefer the idea of ice as it suggests the possibiity of a thaw.

Anyway, taking all of the above as inspiration, here's a poem.

I Confess - More or Less

I stole your pet's name
And I took your cousin's too.
I ripped your life into ribboned strips
And sewed them up anew.

I altered crucial details
To hide my heinous crimes.
I changed the date you met your fate
I lied about those times.

I painted myself in the picture
When I wasn't even there.
I made a heroine out of you
And pretended that she cared.

I moved you to a country
Where I know you've never been.
I gave our lines to others
And reordered all the scenes.

I wrote you out of context
With a wild and wicked pen.
I plunged an ice shard in my heart
To serve the story's ends.

I'll never share the secrets
Of a thousand personal worlds.
But I'll scatter fragments liberally
To turn them into pearls.

Living with PTSD - a UK exhibition


Creativity serves many purposes. It can take us on journeys of the imagination, enable us to present new and interesting ideas to others, and even allow us to begin to heal. 

My friend, Villayat 'SnowMoon Wolf' Sunkmanitu, uses photography and poetry as a coping mechanism for living with PTSD and also as a way of raising awareness about PTSD and the therapeutic benefits of creativity.

Having produced Words of a Wolf, The Way of the Wolf and Soul of a Wolf, he has created an exhibition, Living with PTSD, which shares his work along with insights he has gained from the spiritual traditions of the Native American Lakota tribe. 

The exhibition will be housed at various locations across the UK and is showing from 5th - 30th November 2013 at Leicester People’s Photographic Gallery, 2 Wellington Street, Leicester LE1 6HL.


There will be a chance to meet Villayat on the opening night from 6:30pm – 9pm on Tuesday 5th November 2013.  You can find out more about his work by visiting his website: www.wolf-photography.com

He would also be happy to hear from you if you have a suitable UK venue for hosting the exhibition. Please contact him via his website.


VILLAYAT ‘Wolf ’ Sunkmanitu has gone to extreme lengths to cope with the daily struggles of post traumatic stress disorder. The former RAF policeman, who was stationed in Northern Ireland in the mid 1980s, has been down the conventional route of NHS therapy and private counselling sessions and tried less orthodox methods by spending time with Native American tribes who practise healing ‘Earth Medicine’.  Staying mainly with the Lakota tribe of the Great Plains in North America helped him explore the root of his PTSD.

The 49-year-old, who grew up in Highfields, Leicester, says: “When you’re learning about ‘medicine tools’ from teachers of this path, you’re learning about working on your spirit – your soul – and it’s a holistic form of medicine that affects your mind and body too.”

Numerous visits to indigenous tribes also enabled him to explore an affinity he feels with wolves and is where the name ‘Snow Moon Wolf’ was bestowed on him by one of the teachers, White Eagle. There, in the wilderness, he was able to photograph wolves and for once, away from the rat race, he felt at peace.

Photography is not the only coping mechanism he has found to handle PTSD, which has wrecked his opportunities to work and forced him to retire on health grounds.  Poetry is also a form of creative therapy – although his poems don’t make comfortable reading.  Titles such as Inner Turmoil, Survivor and Demons in my Soul clearly expose the torment, alienation and stigma he feels.

Villayat, who was born to Indian parents in the UK, says: “PTSD can be very debilitating. When you have a physical injury that people can see, they seem to be more comfortable with you than dealing with an invisible wound.

Villayat went undiagnosed for 12 years – a time he refers to as “hell.” As well as his own emotional difficulties, there’s a sense of injustice and anger about the way he believes many veterans of the Armed Forces have been let down by politicians.

It is 30 years since Villayat left the RAF. He was 19 when he was sent to County Down, Northern Ireland, for a two-year tour in 1983, assisting the RUC and other units engaged in counter terrorist activities. He attributes the mental scars to suppressing his fear during incidents he was involved in as part of his duties and an explosion in Belfast. Anxiety, hyper-vigilance, depression, forgetfulness, disturbed sleep and flashbacks became part of his everyday life and it wasn’t until 1995 that he was officially diagnosed with PTSD after a serious road accident.

Even after diagnosis and treatment, he still can’t cope with busy places or potentially troublesome places so he avoids pubs and concerts and would rather be in the wilderness than walk down a city street.

Guest spot - Villayat 'Snowmoon Wolf ' Sunkmanitu - Soul of a Wolf



When I was at school, to the best of my recollection, most poetry rhymed. I also stuck slavishly to couplets, or, if I was feeling particularly adventurous, I'd try A B A B rhyming. 

Once I'd left school, however, a wider world of poetry was waiting for me beyond the gates. Roger McGough, John Cooper Clarke, Ogden Nash, Linton Kwesi Johnson and Stevie Smith, among others, led me to experience poetry as a means of personal expression, of protest, and a way to explore aspects of life that we, the readers, may never have considered (or have had to). 

Bear that in mind as I bring you an interview with Villayat 'Snowmoon-Wolf ' Sunkmanitu, who uses poetry and photography to cope with his own PTSD and to raise awareness about its impact on PTSD sufferers and the people in their lives. Regular visitors to this blog will know I've interviewed him before, but here he talks about what's next for him now that he has completed a trilogy of works in his Poetry of a Veteran series. Just like his poetry, his responses come straight from the heart, or the gut. Here he is, in his own, inimitable style.

1. Soul of a Wolf if your third poetry book, which you've said is the last in the series. What's next in your journey?

I feel the need to walk away from writing PTSD related work at the moment.  My next projects will be photography and wolf related ... focussing on photography as well as the written word.  I have had both of these projects swirling around in my mind for a few years now but I promised myself that I could indulge myself in them when I got the painful writing out of the way.  I also have an autobiographical novel planned ... but I need to rest up a lot more before getting to writing that one.

2. We've talked in the past about the therapeutic value of the arts. How has writing and photography helped you?

Creative therapies help us to process information stored as memories in a subconscious way.  With my poetry it's as though I've temporarily become a Vulcan (Mr Spock type for you Trekkies) - you don't feel your emotions, they just come pouring out in your words.  When you go back and read your own words it can be a bit harrowing because 'Vulcan mode' is switched off and you're having an emotional response to your words.  Sometimes it's as if you were in a trance and this is the first time you've seen the words and you question whether you wrote the words in front of you on your screen; computer date stamp and copyright tags says - 'Yes - you did!'

These three books have helped me to explore some of the issues that I have encountered in my periods of uniformed service, such as racism, corruption, PTSD, fear and apathy.  It's time to write about other things for a while.  I think it's also helped to get a message out there that not all members of the Armed Forces are chest-beating macho types.  We can be strong and fight when it's needed ... but some are also sensitive souls with feelings, awareness and empathy about current human issues.

3. There's a lot more public awareness about PTSD, but could you give us a personal insight into some of the challenges - and how they affect your creativity?

I would argue that the public aren't as aware as I'd like them to be.  I remember seeing an advert somewhere portraying a Veteran having a flashback.  I could relate to the content but felt that it was sensationalised in the way that it was presented; people are very impressionable and can walk away thinking that all Veterans are affected in the same way.  I find that people stereotype others much too easily ... It's the lazy option and can be
misguiding.  Disabilities affect people differently ... We may have the same condition but the way that it affects us, the way we cope and how we interact with the world around is very varied. 

On the issue of care for Veterans with PTSD - the public have to be aware that everything that the NHS provide in terms of care has a budgetary limit.  They don't have the resources to provide Veterans with what they need to cope with this condition.  The NHS works on the premise that early detection and Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioural therapy are the key.  This can work for troops returning from current conflicts.  However we need to be aware of
 a fact that seems to be pushed further and further from the minds of the general public ... We still have many Veterans from conflicts as far back as World War 2 that are still alive - still without support - still suffering in silence with PTSD.  Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioural therapy will do a little good but what these people need (myself included) is the opportunity 
to just sit and talk to someone that understands the issues - allowing us to off load and go back to living with PTSD for a while before we need another opportunity to do the same.  The budget holders have intimated that this won't happen because the issue of PTSD and Veterans ranks very low on their priority list and we just have to get on with it.  We've been getting on with living with PTSD for many generations.  A message I would give to the NHS and their government funders is that they need to remember this:  You limit the ways in which you can help Veterans that live a hellish existence resulting in a disability that arose from carrying out their duty to their Queen and Country.  They signed off on their cheques and risked their lives for the British public, as a collective ... but when they needed the help of the system after coming back to broken homes and shattered lives, the British Government made them acutely aware of the following - there is very little honour in civvy street and the Military Covenant is just a myth.

  

Some organisations have done very well on the back of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan ... One in particular is 'Help for Heroes'.  They branded themselves in a way that captured the public's imagination and support ... But what people don't know is that they only support projects and troops from the war with Iraq onwards and don't support Veterans or projects from earlier conflicts.  Think back to the number of military operations that the British Armed Forces have been involved in since (and including) World War 2 and try to imagine the real numbers of unsupported Veterans out there that did their duty ... only to be forgotten until a lonely bugle sounds on a November morning.  Remembrance Day could be viewed as a hollow political exercise.

You then have other organisations that make you feel like a worm for asking for the support that they advertise they're ready to give you.  I had such an experience after getting my first home.  I needed things like a vacuum cleaner and some other bits and pieces.  The tone of the officer dealing with the application towards me was at the very least condescending and may have harboured a darker issue.  I have never made a formal application for help from such organisations since.  

Disabled artists and writers can be easily manipulated or abused if they're not careful.  It's a material world and money's the new religion.  Creative people must protect their Intellectual Property very carefully, particularly in light of the current changes made to orphan works in the UK.  For more info see http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/IP-UK/respectIP.html and
please have a good look around the whole of the section of my site.  It will teach you how to protect your internet assets and give examples of how to sell or publish your work without falling prey to the rip off merchants out there.  


As a disabled artist, I have limitations.  This is why I do therapeutic work only nowadays.  I have to be very careful with my energy and how I use it.  I tend to visualise a pot and keep tabs on the levels within.  If the levels are below half, I stop working and rest ... For as long as it takes to fill the pot up again before carrying on.  Coping with a disability, with a community that in the main are ignorant of PTSD and with everyday life - is tiring enough.  When you add something else to the equation (e.g. dealing with publicists, media, book distributors, other businesses etc) life can become pretty difficult.



4. Is there life after PTSD? 


There's life WITH PTSD!  We just have to be careful with our energy, our expectations and how the condition affects us (e.g. what our particular triggers are and how to minimise exposure to those particular scenarios).  

If we're lucky, we find people with kind hearts and open spirits along the way that will help us to achieve our ambitions, whatever they may be.

  

The key is to be realistic about the demands that we place upon ourselves.  I have worked hard all my life until I was retired on ill health in 2006.  I now do 'therapeutic' or 'permitted work' as it's now called.  This allows me to work at my own pace without external pressure and allows me to continue contributing to society in some way.  I get days when I'm very low on energy and I remind myself that it's okay to rest up and just look after myself - no one else is going to do it ... and that I'm not lazy.  There are days when I'm too hard on myself ... That's the result of the work ethic that I have had since the age of seven!  I cannot earn a profit now ... and I'd be happy if the business broke even every year ... but the real reward is that my
creativity allows me to continue living with PTSD.  I've been lucky enough to experience things that still make me smile deep down inside - and most of these are through my photography of the natural world.  If my words reach someone and help them to feel understood or provide empathy or perhaps make them laugh - then I'm content.  Hopefully they're laughing or smiling at something that's meant to engender that reaction rather than thinking my books are crap!  

Whatever your disability is ... find a way to do something creative around it - allow your mind and spirit to be free for a while.

5. Are there any poets or other writers that have particularly inspired you while writing your three poetry books?

None.  When engaged in my photography or writing, I tend to become more insular and don't let other influences enter my mind.  However, it's amazing how many times Wordsworth's Daffodils echoes through the corridors of my memory.  The whole object of using creativity to cope with PTSD is to process my issues and to release the valve - it's a bit like flushing after a good dump - but not as smelly.  So I tend to release a lot more than I take in.

6. You wrote The Words of a Wolf some time ago now. Has the publishing landscape changed much since then?

I think so.  There's a lot more work being self-published and I feel that's great!  How many times have you bought a book on the recommendation of a press piece on the back cover, only to find that it's complete bollocks?  People flock to those books because the big companies use contacts to create spin to make them sound like good books - which some are - but not a lot.  

Retailers have changed their attitudes as well.  When 'Words of a Wolf' was released, the reason for writing the book and details of the project were explained to as many branch managers at Waterstones as possible (to raise awareness of how PTSD affects Veterans).  Their response and support is something that I'll always be grateful for - http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/villayat+22snowmoon+wolf
22+sunkmanitu/words+of+a+wolf/7548871/ - particularly the staff that entered 'book seller' reviews.  140 Waterstones stores held copies of Words of a Wolf at their branches.  

I contacted Waterstones centrally when 'The Way of the Wolf' was released only to be told that decisions would not be made by local managers any longer, that purchasing was regionalised and that they expected 50-60% discount on all purchases before they would consider ordering any stock in.  I was also told that that they weren't happy with me quoting the fact that the book was available in 'Amazon Kindle format' on the back cover - which I found particularly strange as I'd been reliably informed that Waterstones were going to be selling Kindle readers.  If you're designing your cover for your latest book - check out the distributor's opinion on these matters.

7. What do you hope people will gain from your latest book?

I hope that they'll gain a bit more awareness of what living with PTSD is like.  People afflicted by the condition are subject to the same issues that everyone lives with but Veterans have a hard time because they come back to society that doesn't understand where they've been, what they've done, how they've been treated and conditioned ... and the sense of
abandonment that they're left with when they come back to a society that doesn't really want them.

From my own perspective: we were in situations where honour meant everything.  We were ready to lay down our lives for our colleagues and people that we were ordered to protect.  We cared for each other.  We were equals.  Materialism was minimal.  When I look around in civvy street I see very little honour, a huge decline in moral and basic good manners ... and a
huge rise in selfishness based on materialism.  This isn't the UK that I fought for.  Too much has changed ... and it's not down to immigrant workers, differing cultures and religions or any of the spin that people wishing to divide the UK populace would have you believe.  I feel that we're losing our way because there's too much greed and corruption in our political and legal systems ... we need to address this and to provide positive role models from the emerging generations of celebrities, business people and leaders.

8. Do you plan to do any public readings?

I've had an offer from poet and playwright Dave Puller to do a public reading and would to take him up on it.  I'm also planning on doing some readings as part of the workshop elements of my rolling exhibition of poetry and photography that starts in November 2013 - see http://wolf-photography.com/html/exhibition.html.

The challenges?  I could end up a quivering wreck!  :o)  One of the attributes of PTSD is disassociation - perhaps I'll try to make positive use of a negative.

9. Where can people find out more about your book and the project?

Pop along to www.wolf-photography.com - you'll find everything there.

You can
 also follow my progress on these social media:

Words of a Wolf - Poetry of a Veteran


In the cut and thrust of writing, especially where there’s a living to be earned, it’s sometimes easy to forget what writing is really about. The words on a page (or a screen) convey ideas, imagination, emotion, information and much more besides. Sometimes they reach out to us, sharing someone’s story and touching people that the author themselves will never meet. Words can also convey the shadow side of life that might otherwise unknown and unchallenged. Sometimes, even in tiny ways, they change lives.

'Words of a Wolf - Poetry of a Veteran', is a book written by a friend of mine, which lifts the lid on his experience of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was asked by Wolf to write a foreword to his book and I'd like to share that with you now. Details of how to purchase the book can be found at the end of this blog.

Foreword

The thing that stood out for me, from my very first meeting with Wolf, as he walked around the room in his baggy shorts, was an intensity that bordered on unsettling. It was as if he was struggling with some inner turmoil that he couldn’t describe. What drew us together – then and now – was a desire for social justice. I didn’t know at the time just how personal a mission it was for him or what lay at the heart of it. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was just something I’d vaguely heard of and associated with the two world wars.

He can be a man of extremes – insightful and wise one day, brooding and defensive the next. What you see is what you get – there’s not much filtering going on. I’ve seen him in good spirits when his laughter shakes the room. And I’ve seen him in difficult times, pacing up and down like a trapped animal, unable to express the pain and pressure that bursts through in aggression or confrontation or hopelessness. I’ve watched and felt inadequate – not knowing what to say or what to do. So I’ve learned to listen without judgement – as he’s revisited old wounds or asked questions that neither of us could answer. In those times he’s always anxious to understand why situations have recurred or unravelled, and even more anxious to avoid those same experiences in the future.

But, as Villayat has told me himself, knowledge will only get you so far – it doesn’t change the instincts, moods and thought patterns that govern much of our behaviour. The kind of healing that reaches that deep takes time, space and professional care. It’s something only the sufferer can instigate by daring to reach out and trust. This book is part of that process for him and I salute his courage.

In his writing you’ll find a rawness and honesty that we’re not used to in society, as well as some uncomfortable truths. Stick with it though because the reward is a deeper understanding of the lives of ex-servicemen and women – about what can happen when the parades are over and the uniform comes off but the damage is still there. It will give you an insight into their relationships and family dynamics too, and maybe why so many of them fall apart.

Villayat’s quest for meaning, healing and peace of mind has led him to the traditions and practices of Native American culture. It may not be your path but you are welcomed here as an honoured guest, without judgement. I trust you’ll treat my friend’s invitation and his personal truth with the same open-mindedness and respect. And I hope you’ll remember that – like so many other sufferers – PTSD continues to affect his life and his relationship with family and friends on a daily basis.

Derek Thompson 2010
Copyright 2010 Villayat SnowMoon Wolf Sunkmanitu
Words of a Wolf - Poetry of a Veteran ISBN: 978-0-9564885-0-3 

http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/books.html